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JareLei

20 years old

Prague, Czech Republic

Female

About

Hi... I'm JareLei.
I've lived in Japan, USA, NZ and the Czech Republic, and I love love love travelling.
My next destination is Italy, dreaming Mediterranean right now.
I love love love the sea, and I can't live anywhere without it.

I'm making my account here to try see myself, I have want to try and picture JareLei.

I'm the type of person who has to see something as a whole, so I thought to make a profile would be a good idea.

I'm Japanese but I don't think I could ever really be a Japanese on the inside because I find the Japanese society absolutely bizzare.

I like learning languages, and I hope to know one of the latin languages soon.
French, Italian or Spanish.

I like interior stuff... IKEA.

I want to know so much more about so many other cultures that I will devote my time and energy to travelling... is there a good job for that?
Still looking for a job, haven't worked yet. Maybe like a travel article reviewer in the newspaper? I don't want to do tourist stuff.

Life is beautiful and I just want to live everyday.

To dance is one way of feeling that you live. Dance and Music is a major part in my life.

I like being me but still I'm so easily influenced by what people say. So I'm weak inside.
And the outside too, come to think about it.

Conclusion... conclusion....

I'm living. yup.

Ha, this is the best conclusion I can do. For now. Wait and see until I come up with a better one.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ok so it's been a while.
and i just feel like letting stuff out.
it's saturday and i'm dreading Monday when I have to go back to routine.
get up early in the morning, get on the bus, get there, do stuff there, get out, and ride back home. eat. sleep. and then it's time to get up and go there, do stuff there.... so on.
it's not like in the stories where the main character has a hard life. but something amazing happens to them and they suddenly have this great purpose for living. it's not like i have any problems and i have to face them. unfortunately i don't have to put so much effort into my life. it's just easy. i'm just lazy. and so fucking scared about something.
i have a nice life, people around me are nice poeple, the place i live is a nice place. but those people aren't really my friends. they're normal, keeps their distance and are polite.
but i don't want to go back there. i wish i could stay here a little longer and forget about facing routines again. i'm so scared but i have no idea why.
even now i'm supposed to be doig something else, something useful that i should do if i don't wanna fall behind other people. it'll help me improve and not get me in trouble.but look, i'm running away from all that stuff and i'm writing here. i have half an hour left. i could get a good amount done in half an hour but i really don't want to do it. but i have no reasons not to. thinking about the result, it's better if i work on it.
the day is going to end soon, even though it's still in the afternoon. when will i learn not to waste time?
i'm scared about what people will think of me. i had plenty of time and i chose to let it flow. i didn't use any of that time. and i still have some left but i guess i'm chosing not to use it. but why is that? why fucking why?
i wish i could be a better person. i don't want to go back there because everyone can see everyone. i'd rather they didn't see me. i think they all feel uncomfortable when i'm around. but i don't do anything. i don't say anything. maybe that's what makes them uncomfortable.
i don't think i'm ready to be back there, but time will go on whether i'm ready or not. i'm scared of going back there and right now i have a lot of things i could do that'll help me be better.
am i scared to make myself better? if people see me trying, they might think it' no use. i'm such a scrap anyway so what's the point in trying to make myself better when it's a useless effort?
there's something wrong with me. i just waste time over stupid things. if i had time to go over these thoughts, it's better to be doing something that's actually useful.
most poeple won't even care about the things i get depressed over. it's so pathetic, i'm so weak. i wish i could change. i can try to change. but in the end i come back to who i am. and that's a somebody who i wish i wasn't.
so hello there, you.

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Blog - see all 1

Diary Day 1 Yesterday

First Entry- Diary Day 1

i have a bit of complication right now. i can hear someone throwing stones on my wall. they'll be dead if they get my window!
things have been weird for me. and i'm confessing stuff now, i'm a female.
i've been starting to think about ... older men. usually i like younger people coz they're so free and aren't tied down from experiences that have screwed up their dreams...

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