So a couple of my friends and I have made a habit of using the phrase "real talk." It means you cannot lie. Let me explain. No, I do not advocate lying in any circumstance, however, there are certain situations where you want people to be happy so you say something thats not completely true. For instance, say you and I are going to dinner and we are trying to pick a restaurant. You say "I have really been craving Applebee's." I'm not really a fan of Applebee's (just an example, I actually love this place, just in case we are ever in this situation you should know that) but because I can tell that you would really like to go there and I care about you I say "Yea, Applebee's sounds great." You would never know that I am lying and I would continue to say that I am OK with Applebee's to make you happy. But if you are a caring individual then you want me to be happy as well. SOOOOOO, if you say to me "Real talk, Applebee's is OK with you?" then I must say "NO, I really don't like Applebee's." Real talk can also be used in situations like "How are you doing, real talk?" which is just saying "I really want to know how you are doing and I expect more than 'I am fine'."

Although Perry is not familiar with the phrase real talk, I felt like every question he asked us during his sermon had real talk tagged on the end. "Does God's voice matter to you, real talk?" "Are you all about appearance, real talk?" "Is your heart fully His, real talk?" ZING! I realized that in so many ways I am all about me. I am all about the self-portrait of Kelly Schneider. I have an account on THREE websites in which I get to say anything I want about myself and show it off to the world. I can be anything I want to be. You know that Brad Paisley song, "I'm so much cooler online."? Yea, it's really bad, but it's so true. This culture is all about ME, ME, ME. Satan is all about wanting us to LOOK as good as possible. He will use anything to distract us from making ourselves nothing in order to reveal that God is everything.

Tonight I realized that I need to be stripped of all the things that hinder me from fully worshiping God. I need to examine the condition of my heart. I need to have some serious real talk with myself and more importantly real talk God. I actually think that being fake works with Him too. In so many ways I have the "show up to church once a week and I have received my golden star from God" mentality.

So, to tip off the process of stripping fakeness from my life, I am going to real talk with you guys, whoever you may be. I need to call myself out on some things I've done recently that scream "FAKE" or "SELFISH." This list may be a bit ugly, but it also shall be liberating...

1. Just last night as I was volunteering for an FCA event and was thanked by a staff member I said with a fake smile "Sure, my pleasure." I spent the rest of the night complaining that there were so many things I would rather be doing. These things did not involve serving others.
2. I lead Bible study last week. One of my points that I really emphasized was living as a soul and the fact that our earthly bodies are simply a container for our souls. I was pointing out that hyperfocusing on your physical appearance is an unhealthy distraction that can be very hindering to your spiritual life. However, I did not practice what I preached.
3. The other night one of my friends made a comment that hurt my feelings (only because I was PMSing). Instead of saying that it hurt my feelings I just let myself slip into a really bad mood for the rest of the night. When my friends finally called me out on it I said that I just had a lot on my mind then proceeded to get upset and let them feel guilty. I never told them that they hurt my feelings.
4. I check my email obsessively and spend way too much time on my computer when I could be doing things like reading my Bible and getting to know Jesus better.
5. Let's not even discuss some of my prayers...

The crazy thing is that tonight is not the first time I have recognized these problems. They have been on my mind so much lately and I WANT desperately for them to disappear so that I can be consumed by Jesus. Whenever I am acknowledging His presence these things seem easy, but they don't last if I don't put forth the effort. I needed tonight. I needed to have people I am close to pray for me. I needed accountability. I needed to be called out. I needed to publicly say that I surrender all. Now I need to do it for more than 10 minutes...