2007 has been one of those years where I feel like I am in some sort of holding tank, surely designed by God. I kept\keep telling myself that I am ready for this and ready for that, but God has spent the better half of 2007 showing me that I'm simply not ready for some things I desire. Unfortunately this did not stop me from wanting and desiring them anyway. However, the more I wanted, the more God laid the smack down on me. It has been one of those years where you ask me what God has been teaching me and I feel like I can't answer. It's not that I feel like I am not being taught or that I am not seeking God, but simply that he is teaching me so many different things and he is taking his time doing it. There are so many loose ends. I can't say that it is the best feeling in the world because I do feel that my relationship with Christ is different than it was at this time last year, less mindblowing, less extravagant even. However, it is way more mature. And don't get me wrong, God still blows my mind, it's just that I feel like he is spending less time showing me his desire for intimacy and reminding me that I am created for his pleasure and more time showing me how to prepare myself for carrying out the massive plan he has for my life. There have been intimate moments, reminders that he is a God of intimacy and that he is love, don't get me wrong. He still woos me with music, beautiful scenery, and moments of surrender. But the other side of God, the one that has a plan for each one of his children's lives, that one is coming on strong. The doors that have opened up vocationally, relationally, and even financially have been such a confirmation that God is giving me EVERYTHING I need to live for him and that he is taking me down this path. He is reminding me that I have what it takes to make a difference. He is reminding me that my true purpose on this earth is to live for him. Gosh, he is teaching me so much! I can't wait to be released from this period of absorbing, absorbing, absorbing and go out and DISTRIBUTE! I am more confident now than I have ever been about making a difference, and I am learning the ways in which I can do that best. Thank you, Jesus, for holding me back...