sometimes i wish

Sometimes I wish I had a hideous scar on my face. Or some burns. Or was missing an eyeball. Or had a goiter. Or something else that would drive away the incredibly unnerving men who want to talk to me on the subway. It's been a long time since I've been legitimately freaked out by random drunks in the T, but tonight was a refresher course in Why I Wish You Didn't Need a License To Carry Mace in Massachusetts. At least the first guy was just hovering around me and muttering. He didn't seem to mind too much that I ignored him. I was worried for a sec he was going to push me onto the tracks (people shouldn't stand behind you in your blind spot on a subway platform, FYI) but after a few instances of my ignoring his introductory comments, he stumbled away.

But not my second guy. Dude reeked. And was way too close. And kept touching me to get my attention. And got mad when I couldn't understand his slurred words about boats. And he kept calling me "boss," which I found very weird. "Blonde Boss." At least I think that's what he was saying....

The iPod didn't deter him. The paperback book didn't deter him. The walking away from him didn't deter him. The telling him I just wanted to read my book didn't deter him. I got out a Kleenex and he kept saying, "Do you need a light?" He was nonsensical, ridiculously intoxicated, and wanted to be my friend. Aggressively so.

I hate that.

Moral of the story: I won't be revisiting the State Street T stop at 1215 a.m. on my way home from work again. It's worth the walk to a safer-feeling subway station. Yeeks. :(

Post a comment

what i do in the privacy of my own home...

...is my business. Therefore, if I want to put up my Christmas tree this weekend, I will. I don't care if 96% of the people I know think it is WAY too early. I am not planning on going to anyone's house, putting a gun to their heads, and forcing THEM to put up a tree. But, for the love of the little baby Jesus, if I want my tree up in JULY, I will put it up. I refuse to be peer-pressured into waiting one more everlovin' second than I feel like waiting. I like Christmas. And there are not NEARLY enough things in my life right now that make me happy, so I do what I need to do. And that just might include putting up a Christmas tree the week BEFORE Thanksgiving.

So there.

Post a comment

I think I'm in love...

...with MacGyver. I've been revisiting my old friend Richard Dean Anderson lately and I wonder if the reason I'm generally unsuccessful in relationships with men is because I'm still waiting for my real-life MacGyver. (This is the reason that doesn't have anything to do with my own numerous shortcomings, anyway.) He might be my perfect man. Perhaps he's ruined me for all real men forever. He is creative, likes children, is good at building stuff, he has an adorable cowlick, he doesn't take himself too seriously, he has a soul, and he's unassuming and humble. He doesn't seem to be threatened by successful women. Oh, and he's polite and isn't emotionally dead inside. Is that too much to expect in real life?

I don't need a man to have all of MacGyver's extensive and impressive CV, you know. I don't require that he's liberated a village from a poppy-harvesting slave-trading druglord or that he's recovered $60 million in diamonds from a thief who's running a casino in the U.S. Virgin Islands or that he's safely brought an expose-breaking journalist into the safety of Mexico while being chased by a corrupt general and his troops. So I don't need all the adventures. Just the general human characteristics. At this point, I'd even love The MacGyver Mullet if it sat on top of a head with a brain inside, a willingness to try in the face of adversity, and a ready smile for me.

>sigh<

Then again, maybe I just need a hug. Who knows.....

Post a comment

ahhhhh.

Tonight I went and saw the glorious Aretha Franklin sing. There aren't words -- none that I know, anyway -- to do the woman justice. Magnificent, holy, phenomenal...they pale in comparison to the reality of Ms. Aretha. True to her roots, she (and her 25-piece band) rocked out gospel-style on a number of songs and it was inspiring and lovely. I think my favorite moment is when she brought out her little camera and took pictures of the audience. It was the sweetest thing I've seen in a long time. She sang, she danced, she told jokes, she played the piano. She was...well, there really aren't any words. She was Aretha. I've been to shows before that brought me to tears; I went to one a few months ago where the Neville Brothers performed "A Change Gonna Come" and I teared up. But this is the first time I was brought to tears by a performer simply walking out on stage. Granted, my over-emotional state may have something to do with the fact that I am sick as a dog and, thanks to the huge doctor bill I'm still paying off from my "routine" exam 2 months ago (my doctor is the devil and bills at astronomical rates my insurance apparently won't cover), I will never be able to afford to go to a doctor again. But whether it was the fever or the sinus issues or the runny nose or whatever, Aretha Franklin touched the place where my soul used to live. It was the closest thing to joyful worship I've been a part of in a long time. So I thought I'd share.

Post a comment

C'mon, detectives.

So I've seen a lot of Law & Order episodes in my day and I propose a new rule. Guest stars on Law & Order (any of the varieties) should get only one shot, unless it's a recurring character. It really honks me off when guest stars come on numerous times playing different characters. Like today I was watching a new(ish) Law & Order: SVU and Cynthia Nixon was the guest star. She played a woman with multiple personalities, and did a pretty good job of it. HOWEVER, Cynthia Nixon was also a guest star on either the first or second season of Law & Order (the original series) as a dancer who shot some guys on the subway. So as soon as she walked into the scene in the episode I watched today, I thought, "That's that crazy lady who shot those kids on the subway. C'mon, detectives. Run her rap sheet. She's already BEEN in trouble." And I couldn't ever really believe her as the multiple-personality lady.

Or how about S. Epatha Merkerson? She's Lt. Van Buren on one of the Law & Order franchises now. But again, in one of the first seasons of the original Law & Order, she played the cleaning-lady mother of some kids who got shot in their apartment. She did a hell of a job as the blue-collar weeping mother. But now I'm supposed to believe her doppelganger is a police lieutenant? There are many more examples of this that never cease to irritate me. So I'm just suggesting that if you're a guest star, that's your job. I understand that Law & Order has been on the air for about 800 years and has approximately 15 different incarnations, so almost everyone in the world has been on it at one point or another. But it still annoys me....

I'm just sayin'.

Post a comment

socially inappropriate

Sometimes I see people I haven't seen in years and they tell me how wonderful they're doing and how their lives are fabulous and amazing and phenomenally good and I'm really happy for them.

And then they ask how I'm doing and all I can think of to say is, "I'm so tired I wish I were dead about 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time, I'm asleep." But I realize that that might sound scary to someone I haven't talked to in a few years. So then I don't know what to say.

Post a comment

just call me kotter

Being aggravated with other "social networking" sites (and with life in general, to be honest) I'm staging a triumphant return to Good Old Virb.

So what am I up to? Well, let's see. Here's the Top 5:

1. Trying to forget things I don't want to remember.

2. Trying to remember things I shouldn't forget (for school, mostly).

3. Wondering what possible interactions there might be if one takes both Sudafed and Xanax due to the fact that one is sick AND anxiety-ridden.

4. Getting ready to get in my bed and watch Law & Order until I pass out.

5. Living the Dream.

hee hee hee......

Post a comment

what?!

1. what the hell is it with guys who flirt and flirt and blatantly flirt some more with you and then casually drop the girlfriend bomb right into the middle of a conversation like you should've been psychically aware of her existence all along?

2. does anyone out there really think a good way to hit on someone is to get all up in her face and creepily repeat "it's all about you today, baby...it's all about you" ... other than the 13-year-old I had the pleasure to meet on Monday morning?

3. why does my head ache so much?

4. when I was filling out law school applications last year, does anyone remember me accidentally filling out an application to be the karmic whipping post for the cosmos?

just checking.....

1 Comment

it's been awhile

It's been awhile, hasn't it? I'm about halfway through the semester now and am hitting the wall, so to speak. I feel kind of like my brain is just full to capacity and there's no more room at the inn for the information I'm trying to cram in there. I know that's not really true (or, at least, I hope so!) but still....it is frustrating in my head right now. I've got a bunch more to do before bed tonight and my study break is up in 2 minutes, so I should get the nose ready to go back on the ol' grindstone. Grrr. I'm just awfully tired now and I am discouraged by how this is not easier. Let's face it: I much prefer to be lazy if I can. And it seems that I can't right now. Boo to that.

Post a comment

i'm over it

Wow. I've been here for over a week now. Either those are fireworks outside or there will be a big bloody headline tomorrow morning in the paper. I'm kind of blase right now. I'm not miserable to be here, but I'm not thrilled either. I've got some new pictures to add here, but I'm to lethargic to do it. So if anyone cares, they can email me and I'll send them pictures of the going away party. Blah. I'm tired but I'm not sleepy. I'm just kinda bleah. I feel like I should sleep, but then my mind goes all wonky and there are either super-anxiety-ridden dreams or there is not any sleep at all. boo. I should just stop typing now -- I'm not saying anything even remotely interesting. So there.

Post a comment