Today, I was running late for work and my water bottle wasn't clean. Really thirsty, I grabbed an old Gatorade from back when I had to have all of those colonoscopies. I was obviously desperate, because drinking these things are torture (I associate them with my starvation "clear liquids" diet while violently "cleansing" my colon in preparation for invading procedures). Anyways, they are so damn hard to open.

I spent my entire 15 minute car ride trying to open the Gatorade bottle without getting in an accident. (Failed in Gatorade mission, succeeded in avoiding car accident). When I arrived to work, I started my session by trying to multitask between conversing with my twelve year old autistic client and opening my Gatorade. After awhile, I asked him to open it for me and he just stared at me, drooled a little bit, then he told me "Jeans... I wear jeans."

At this point, I decided to venture to the park with my twelve year old, all the while I was banging my Gatorade on the sidewalk, smashing it into poles, and twisting with full fierce. (To the outside observer, I probably looked like the one challenged with autism). I was THIRSTY! The skin between my thumb and pointer finger was chaffed with such determination. I called Kaitlyn to meet me at the park so she could open it for me, but she was still 100 miles north of Los Angeles on her way home from Chico.

So I arrived at the park, where little kids stared in awe as I smashed my Gatorade against the playground equipment. This was no longer a battle against dehydration... (there was actually a drinking fountain at the park, AND, I could have easily brought water from my client's house.) No, this was a battle against Gatorade itself. Finally, after a cumulative hour of struggle, I succeeded! The cap loosened, I twisted it off, and I drank my Gatorade.

So why do they make Gatorade so freaking hard to open?