June 26, 2009

6/25/09 Love ANYWAY, Expect NOTHING In Return, Luke 6:27-36, Why Do We Think We Are Owed Anything More Than What We’ve Been Given??

“Love you enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak, do not withold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your father is merciful.” Luke 6:27-36

This passage is so challenging. At least to me. It’s so hard to love and not expect something back. It’s so hard to give when you know you wont be repayed. A lot of times I think we read this in light of our possessions, money, etc, but for me here lately it has been emphasized in terms of friendship-of giving my time, my trust, my support and encouragement, my love, etc. Of being there for people when you know theres a pretty good chance they wont be there when your in need.

Verse 30 says to give to everyone who begs from us and from the ones that take our goods, not to demand them back. Again, not in light of our stuff, but of us-our being, our friendship, our time, effort etc. There are so many people around us that need a friend, that need someone to just listen, or to reach out in an act of kindness and encouragement. They may not beg with there words but you can tell theyre in need, because the second you show that you care, they cling to you.
Verse 31 ‘and as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.’ We all long for close friends that we can trust and rely on and know without a doubt will be there for us when we struggle. But these days its so hard to find. We are a generation of skeptics when it comes to loving and trusting. We want to love a little, then be loved back, then we can love a little more, then we can love back a little more. ‘if you give some, then ill give some’. But we don’t want someone to love us a little, we want someone to pour their heart and soul out into being loyal and dedicated to us. It’s hard to give our all into caring for other people because constantly in the back of our minds we’re thinking ‘will they do the same for me later on?’ but as we see here, it doesn’t matter. We can question how other people will act and then decide how we will act. We have to act regardless of what happens later on.
Verse 35- ‘expecting nothing in return’. God tells us very clearly what our attitude should be, and there lies our problem- we expect lots in return. In fact, everything that we do for a friend, we expect back at some point or another don’t we? We love them, help them, pray for them, but when we’re struggling they better do the same for us or we are offended are we not? We expect something in return, God tells us not to. Why? Because we will inevitably be let down, which leads to…hmm lets think about it…bitterness, jealousy, hurt feelings, broken hearts, anger, resentment…the list could go on. I almost want to say that by not expecting anything in return, God is trying to help us protect ourselves, keeping us from being let down. I have to think more on that one.
But the point still stands. Expect NOTHING in return. Not from your mom, not from your very best friend on the planet, and not from the stranger on the street corner, cause somewhere down the line, we will be let down, and then sin creeps in because we feel like we are owed more than we’re getting.

When we love on other people, we are loving on Jesus. Jesus said that what we do ‘for the least of these’ we have done for him. Does jesus owe us anything in return? We love people, yes because they need to be loved and because we care about them, but more improtantly because Jesus is love, and his spirit is in us, and we represent him on this planet, and he commanded us to. We don’t love because we need love, we love because we ARE loved. Therefore, let us expect nothing in return, we already have everything the universe has to offer and then some, what more do we need?

I love the last verse- ‘be merciful, as your father is merciful’. When God’s mercy runs out, then my mercy can run out. When God stops loving, then I can stop loving. When God stops forgiving and loving anyway, then I can stop fogiving and loving anyway. His spirit is in me, his love and mercy and grace and forgiveness are all in me, so why would I stop while He is still going?

Who am I to be hurt and upset when I feel I’ve been used. I should be willingly offering my friendship to anyone and everyone who needs it at the time, even if it is just to get them through a hard time and then forget about me. I should be serving, in no matter what I get in return-Love ANYWAY. And I should be serving- in any and every way I can- Love ANY-WAY.

We don’t love because we need love in return, we love because we are loved.

Lets Love Anyway.

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June 26, 2009

6/24/09 ROADTRIP, DryCreek, Mixed Emotions/Need For Clarity, and Love ANYWAY-yet again…

Wow. Where to begin. Me and emily decided to drive over to DryCreek for the day (yes, its 6.5 hours one way haha). I worked Tuesday night, and then we left about 930am Wednesday. It was really a great trip though. We had some amazing conversation in the car about life, God, bible, etc. had some debates about satan and national healthcare and Obama and socialists. Basically my dream world of conversation : ) and then there were the more delirious moments where we discussed making faces at old men on motor cycles and seeing if they would tip over, contemplating in burger king if it would be possible to have a head transplant and if so if you could put an old mans head on a young girls body, discussing how I would make a good window washer because I would use two hands and get done twice as fast. We also discussed yelling at cows (or cops as emily suggested). Hah…yeah, good conversation. No one knew we were coming, so we got to sneak into the girls cabin and surprise everyone. It was really great to see everyone and get to hang out for the evening. I wish we could have stayed longer, everyone was having so much fun. We stayed for the worship service and then they had a talent show afterwards so that was fun although I was SO sleepy because I didn’t really get a chance to sleep after work Tuesday. We had to drive back that night so emily could go to work at 7am Thursday morning lol. It’s by the grace and protection of God alone that we made it safely and made it in time, we were both so sleepy. But we made it back about 530am. It could just be the lack of sleep, but the something about being there and the trip and everything has stirred up a lot of thoughts and mixed emotions and things to ponder. Not sure what to think as of yet, but I’m working on getting it straightened out and praying for clarity.
Love ANYWAY is being re-emphasized in my life. And yet again, it’s a challenge to me. I feel used by people, and that hurts. But I’m trying to remind myself that being ‘used’ in a way, is a form of serving. Seeking out ways to benefit others and being there for people when you know they probably arent going to be there for you later, that takes sacrifice and a love that can only come from God. Luke 6:27-36. Read tomorrows post for what I think about this passage.

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June 26, 2009

6/23/09 Jeremiah 29, Invest In Your City, Openly and Honestly Being Real, and Praising God For His Faithfulness

Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday. I can sum this one up pretty fast- I slept haha. Seriously, I have been reading and studying so much that I’ve only been sleeping a little bit each day. But its been so fun and enjoyable so I guess its ok haha. But yeah, I needed a catch up day. I did go running though, and then layed out in the sun for a good while. The sun has been so strong but man, I love it : ) Tuesday night we had another Living Hope leaders meeting and, wow, I don’t even have words to share really. John shared from Jeremiah 29:1-11. About taking root in your city, caring for your city, investing in your city. Amazing passage really. Check it out. God has put us here, in this city for a reason, we need to be a major part of whats going on here, we need to invest in this city and build it up in whatever way we can be doing. More on that later, havent had time to think it all through yet.
We also had a really good time of being open and honest and sharing about what we’re struggling with, what is stressing us our and what we’re worried about, etc. I mean, normally, when we’re in a group and we’re sharing prayer requests (small group, Sunday school, bible study, whatever) we ask for prayer for a sick relative or friend, safety for an upcoming trip, guidance and direction in for an upcoming big decision, etc. And that’s great, there was a lot of that shared Tuesday night too. But how often do we go a step further and say ‘look, this is a sin that I’m struggling with’ or ‘I am so worried and concerned about this person’ or ‘this is where I messed up, and I’m not sure how to fix it yet’. We usually ask for help once we’ve identified the problem, identified the solution, and know the course of action to take haha. Rarely do we just open ourselves up, take off our masks, and let people see us for who we are. But as scary as it may seem, there is something comforting found in that- in just letting people see us for who we are, in being open and honest and admitting our struggles and shortcomings. Somehow its freeing.
Anyway, Tuesday night, as I listened to these people that I’ve known for a few short months go around the room, sometimes in tears, and openly and honestly share there worries, hurts, fears, failures and sturggles, it was just such a beautiful picture of how things should be. One of those times where I just had to take a step back and take it all in, because its one of those things that, if we are lucky enough to be a part of, we only experience a very few times in life. And it hit me ‘I’m somehow blessed enough to be a part of this’. Deffinetly a shot to my pride, which is a good thing. Deffinetly just made me have to be reverently thankful that God directs my steps, not me, that can see the big picture and I can, that he promises to be faithful even when I’m faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). If it werent for that, I wouldn’t be where I am, I wouldn’t be the person I am, I wouldn’t serve the God I serve. Amazing. Humbling.
Thank you Jesus for remaining faithful, even when we try to walk away.

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June 26, 2009

6/22/09 Rebecca, Get Over Yourself….

Another day where just not too much happened. I wen to the Hanger about 530am, all the kids from WEMO were leaving for DryCreek and I went to see them off. Also I had to give Llyndze a ‘Camp Survival Kit’ to give to Matt haha, I was trying to get a bunch of random funny things to send, but I ran out of time, so it ended up being gummy bears, iTunes gift card and parachute men, which I know is random, however, these were really cool parachute men, and I figured, if I was at a camp for the whole summer I would LOVE to be able to shoot parachute men from strange places. Probably a dumb idea, but yeah. Anyway I was supposed to be off Monday and Tuesday, but I really wanted off Wednesday because me and Emily want to go to Drycreek and see Matt and Leah, Llyndze, Emily, Anna and everyone else that’s there this week. I went to atlanta bread at like the crack of dawn, and tried to get my schedule switched, I was succesful so that was good haha. Um, I stayed up there for a while and read/wrote/studied. I’m trying to keep up with my blogging, but im struggling to keep up with my journaling which in my opinion is much more important. I mean, I love blogging, because everyone else can read what I have been up to, what I’m struggling with, how to pray for me, what im learning, etc. But I love love love journaling because I can write a lot more freely and in a lot more detail, its almost like I’m having a conversation with myself. Idk. I love it. So yeah, I did a good bit of journaling and tried to get caught up on everything that’s been happening.
I’ve still got ¾ of Secret Church on the Holy Spirit to listen to. I’m looking forward to that.
Stuff with Living Hope is going really well, we have another leaders meeting Tuesday night, I’m looking forward to it.

So I put my twitter and facebook status as ‘first step to getting rid of pride, focus on others instead of yourself. How can I be praying for you? Feel free to text me (251-422-3071)’ I’ve really been struggling with focusing too much on myself and my problems and the things that are stressing me out right now. Anyway, I wanted to pray for people and know how I can be helping. I figured a few people might respond or whatever, but within ten minutes, I had almost 20 texts. And some of them were from people that I didn’t even know. I was so humbled, like really. I guess growing up in a christian family, and in church all the time, we are constantly surrounded by ‘ill pray for you’ or ‘will you pray for me’ etc etc. It’s just one of those things you hear all the time. You know when you have a problem you can just go to anyone and ask for prayer, and you know the freedom that is found in being able to communicate with God whenever and wherever and about whatever you want. But there are SO many people out there who are just burried under burdens of some kind of another, and they hav no one to share them with. The thought never crosses their mind to ask someone to pray for them, and even if it did, they would have a hard time finding someone to ask. They don’t grasp the fact that we can just open our mouths, or even our thoughts, and speak to God. They feel alone. And that was so evident to me by the fact that within instants after reading my tweet/status, people responded. Idk. How many people out there are struggling and have no relief, no comfort, no one to help them through? It inspires me to try harder, to care more, to stop obsessing with the things and the people that have hurt me or offended me or caused me pain, to stop thinking about all this stuff that is going on in my little world right now, and to think more about the millions and millions of other human being on the planet.
Intense.

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June 26, 2009

6/21/09 Sunday Boring Sunday…

Sunday was a good day for the most part. I taught Sunday school at Bigbys again, it went really well. I shared on ‘Yaweh Rophe’ ‘The Lord that heals’. It was a really challenging lesson for me personally, I hope everyone else got something out of it haha. I went to church at West Mobile and Mr Scott Tacket was filling in to preach. The message was really great, about going through ‘firey’ times in life, but coming out stronger, how the fires in our life arent meant to kill us, theyre meant to intimidate us and cause us to change our stance from standing to bowing, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Then we had father’s day lunch. The Wemo small group wasn’t meeting and Living Hope had met Saturday night so we were trying to make other plans for that night but it didn’t work out lol- theres a common theme here lately. I was pretty much frustrated and just wanted to go home and chill out haha. I had to remind myself yet again that life isnt about me, that God is in control, that he works our everything for the best of those that are seeking him, and that if I really trust him then I wont worry or be stressed out about all this stuff.
Tough thing to remember though right?
That’s pretty much all that Sunday entailed. I stayed up reading most of the early morning hours, then went to atlanta bread about 615 Monday morning. Got some good study time in there too.
Boring day right? But sometimes those are necessary.

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June 21, 2009

6/20/09 Um Random Occurances I Forgot To Mention From This Week

I'm determined to blog everyday, however, there isnt so much to say about yesterday, so I'm going to tell you about yesterday and then fill you in on random things that I left out from this week.

So, basically, yesterday was fun haha. Um, Living Hope met last night instead of Sunday night because of Father's Day. John spoke on the end of 1 Peter chapter 2, about suffering. How at times we will suffer unjustly, and it is our calling to suffer because christ suffered. We are called to be the light of the world and light is most effective in the darkness. There's so much more, and a lot more detail if you want it- just ask me! After that we were all going to eat at Sabor a Mexico, but unfortunately, upon arriving there we found out it was kareoke night lol. So we decided to stand in the parking lot for about 10 minutes and discuss/debate/vote on where to go. Ended up being Friday's-great choice right?! : )

We had a lot of great conversation and just an all round good time of fellowship. Afterwards Emily, Daniel, Jacob, Freddy and I went to Bigbys where I had my first Redbull Cream Slush- amazing really. We started discussing Rob Bell and problems with emergent opinions on the gospel, then got into predestination and foreknowledge- you know, just average conversation haha

But yeah, as a whole, the night was edifying and encouraging, for me at least. I needed that.

As I've been saying for the last two weeks or so, I'm being drawn out of my comfort zone in a way, not that I'm not comfortable, just that...well...I'm embarking on new ground lets say. Its a little intimidating not knowing whats ahead, not having any experience with these situations and all in all, i guess just having to rely on God completely. But it is definitely pushing me closer to him, in a different way though. Like, I wasnt far from him and in that sense am now getting closer, I'm still just as close as I was but its in a different way. I'm seeing things in a different light, in a little more correct vision if you will. I feel like my outlook and understanding is being tweaked ever so slightly on a daily basis...and its a good feeling. I'm striving to be a better communicator in all aspects, concerning the Word. Not like I'm obsessed with knowing it all, but I want to know it well so as to better communicate it to others. To be able to take the complicated and explain it in such a way that it makes sense to a specific person in a specific situation. And I'm learning that takes practice, like is required in any other situation where you want to exert excellence. So yeah, that's what I'm working on, thats what Ive been spending my time on. Lots of reading, writing, thinking, reading, writing some more, etc. Cool stuff.

Today in sunday school @ bigbys with the WEMO crowd I shared about Yaweh Rophe, the Lord that heals and also God as our Strong Tower. The two tie together really well. I'm going to post that outline/study guide in another note if anyone wants to see it. I dont claim to have it down by any means, but I just put together what I have been learning lately.

Ok. Random events from this week. Um...I watched Pirates of the Carribean Friday night at ABC, and discovered that hippies, pirates, and people with dreadlocks are cool. I dont know why I've never had this realization before.

Thursday night Caroline convinced me to go to Krispy Kreme. Ok, so I really wanted a chocolate custard filled donut and was going to go anyway, she just said it was a good idea. So I'm on my way to Krispy Kreme and stop at Cody and Old Shell, and this SUV pulls up beside me with two old men in it. They proceed to ask me where I'm going and what I'm going to do and finally if they could come. So I sort of lied, I said i was going to see a friend, which is true because Justin works at Krispy Kreme, but I didnt tell them I was going to Krispy Kreme...anyway, the one guy was like 'well that's too bad you have plans tonight, how about i get your number and we can make plans tomorrow?' and I laughed and said no way, and then the light was green so i drove off. Well they followed me all the way to krispy kreme, and in all honesty, i told myself if they were still parked outside when i came back out, i was going to walk over there and there was going to be a throw down. But unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you want to look at it) they were gone. I did however, thanks to Justin, receive 6 free chocolate donuts and a cup of coffee- amazing really.

Friday night (before Pirates and ABC) i went down the road to my see my cousins- ok they begged me. I helped laura set up a blog, so that was exciting- setting an example for the younger generation! yes, im amazing. ok jk. and...then we laughed and goofed off as always. They were throwing a tennis ball around, and it went straight up into the ceiling fan which then shot it full power speed into kelly- HAH. the coolest thing ive seen in a good while for sure.

Oh! Friday night I also go the privledge of having to break into the house. I pulled the screen off and unlatched my window and then had to pull myself up four feet and roll over a few times onto my bed. But hey, it worked, and it was kinda cool I'm not gonna lie. I think I could do the CIA thing...probly not.

So thats about it for this week. Amazing adventurous stuff right? I promise tomorrows blog will have more depth and meaning...really...well, i hope haha

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June 20, 2009

6/19/09 I Feel Like I'm Growing, Kinda Like I'm Getting Old...

Not 'old', but older. Not so much in a bad way though, just..hmm...hard to explain. I think this is one of those places in life where you have to transition, like a new phase is coming on, and it feels weird, maybe even a little awkward, cause you have to find your footing and forge your path, figure out which direction your going to go and what your going to make of the next little bit of time that this phase will cover. (longest sentence ever posted in a blog). I guess a good word here is growth. It's weird to say I feel like I am 'growing up', but I feel like I am growing. Several times in the last few weeks I've stopped and kind of reflected on a situation i just handled or something i said or did, and it kind of surprised me because it was different then what I've done in the past. In a good way. I feel like I'm finally starting to get some stuff down, I'm getting a handle on some things and everyday it seems I'm building on that. I feel like I've got a little bit of concrete, solidness under foot and a lot of things are starting to become more clear. At the same time though, its scary. Because its new and uncharted ground ahead, and growth and progress are never easy, in fact they always come at a cost. And I'm feeling the cost for sure, its kind of been a struggle lately to stay positive. But, I'm reminded that in order to be ready to accept what God has laying ahead for us, we have to let go of what we currently have. That's a lesson I've had to learn once before, and well, here it is again. But I'm not saying any of this in a negative way, I'm actually meaning it in a positive way. Because yes, we have to let go of stuff, and yes we have to struggle and experience pain and hardship, but thats just because we're growing. It's just because we're getting one step closer to who we are trying to become, who we were created to be.

Relient K has a song "Let It All Out" and I love this part: "You said i know that this will hurt, but if I dont break your heart things will just get worse, if the burden seems too much to bare, remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get you there." Such a beautiful picture of God, in his wisdom, being like 'look, this is going to hurt, this is going to be hard, this will be a struggle, but if I dont do this, if I dont allow you to go through this, then you will never get there, you will never make it, you need this." Amazing. Really.

We need this.

This hurt, this pain, this struggle, this frustration, this burden. It's for our good. It's part of the training required to succeed. It's part of the plan. It's for our good.

So. We have two options. 1) Curl up in a ball, scream out in pain, retreat into a corner and wait for it to pass, and learn nothing in the process. Thats great, we can escape most of the struggle and hurt that way, but we wont learn what we need to learn, we wont grow. So...down the road, we're just going to have to go through something similar so that we can learn that same lesson, and then if we retreat from that one, it's gonig to pop up again later on. Option 2)Embrace it. Say' I know this is going to suck, this hurts, this isnt fun, but, I know theres a reason for it, I know I can learn through this and this is an opportunity to grow. So- what i can i learn, and what i can i do to grow through this?' It's like working out. We know it isnt fun to run 5 miles, we know its going to hurt, we know we will be sore the next day. But we also know its for our good, so we do it, and knowing that it will benefit us in the long run helps us get through the process.

Whatever we're going through, pain, hurt, struggle, whatever it may be. Lets remember that our God is faithful and just, that he is walking us through every step of the way, that he has the big picture in mind and is trying to help us prepare and grow and become the people he created us to be. Lets embrace our challenges, our struggles. Lets take these situations and use them as opportunities to grow, to learn, and ultimately to glorify and praise our God.

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June 19, 2009

6/18/09 He Will ALWAYS Give Us More Than We Can Handle...Give Me Some Feedback Here

Let me quickly sum up the days' events, cause I have something important i really want to talk about... Sleep, always good. The fam came back from the Bay, so that was...noisy. I REALLY wanted everyone to get together in the evening and hang out but it just didn't work out. And, despite my natural reactions, I've decided to stop fighting losing touch with people, to stop trying to hold on to everything, to let go and focus on what really really matters. People matter yes, a lot in fact, but God matters more. What i mean is, if I focus on people, my relationship with God will not be ok, if I focus on God my relationship with people may or may not be ok, but thats a part of life. People grow closer and grow apart, friendships are strengthened and friendships fade. It's not necessarily a bad thing, although it is a sad thing at times. But if people really care they will put effort into seeking me out as well, and if they dont, as unfair and sad as it may be, its just one of those things that we have to 'man up' and deal with.

Anyway. Moving on. I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a new journal, exciting. I also discovered that it is the one coffee shop in Mobile where I dont currently run into people I know constantly. I sat there for two hours in complete peace and quiet. crazy.

Ok... I have an agenda today- something heavy on my mind that I really want some feedback on.

How many times have we heard this "God has promised to never give us more than we can handle", or "If he puts a struggle in our life, he is going to give us everything we need to take care of it"? Ok, so I was thinking on this last night, and while, technically I think this is true, I also think that the way we think about these phrases is a little incorrect.
God will never give us more than we can handle? Um...actually...I think its more correct to say that God will ALWAYS give us more than we can handle. Why? Well, please tell me what exactly, on our own, without any assistance, can we handle? For that matter, please share with me what we can handle with on our own with just a little assistance? We cant. We are so completely, totally, and eternally dependent on God for everything that we need. We cant even love him without him teaching us how and first filling us with his love, so that we in turn, can give that love back to him. We cant sustain ourselves. We cant strengthen ourselves. We cant make decisions that are always objective and have the big picture in mind. We are so so so dependent on God.

Now certainly there are times where it seems like we've got things under control. When life is coasting along pretty well and although there are some minor problems and situations we have to deal with, its nothing too big that we wont pull through. Then there are times when everything goes crazy, everything that could go wrong goes wrong and we are completely thrown into a tailspin. In these situations we feel powerless to help ourselves. We feel incapable of handling the situation. We find ourselves on our knees, desperate for answers, for guidance, for assistance. In other words-God has given us more than we can handle. And its not just that life has randomly thrown some stuff at us. I think that God, deliberately, on purpose, and with our best interests in mind, intentionally piles more on us than we can handle. Now why would God do that? Why would a God who has our best interests in mind and who supposedly loves us pile a ton of stuff on us, stuff that he knows we are not capable of dealing with? I think he does it so that we can be reminded of what we can handle on our own- that being NOTHING. I think it is for our own good, that we be in a place where we have to cry out and say 'God, I cant do this, I need you'. I dont think God does this with the intention of seeing how we can, on our own accord, use what we've learned through life to deal with the situation. I think we do learn lessons and learn what we need to do to respond accordingly, but I think the purpose of our being overloaded and struggling is so that we will remember- yes, maybe we know how the situation needs to be dealt with and we know what actions we must take to respond accordingly, but we are powerless to do so if God is not enabling us and working through us. Make sense?

I think so many times struggles are thrown our way, or situations come up and our thought process is that 'ok, I've got to use what I've learned and I've got to deal with this' and we think that if we succesfully deal with it without having to ask for supernatural assistance then we are on the right track, we are making progress in our christian life because we have become a little more independent. God didnt have to intervene on that one because we learned this skill or that characteristic. Yay for us, we pat ourselves on the back. But the christian life isnt about at first being completely dependent on God, and then day by day becoming more and more independent and able to cope on our own through what we've learned. No, the christian life is about realizing how completely inept we are on our own, and, through what we're learning day by day, becoming more and more completely dependent on God.

God is glorified in our weakness. The more that we rely on him, the happier he is. He longs for us to come before him and proclaim 'I cant do this, I cant handle this, I have no way of getting through this, but I know you can, and I need you.' And that's the beauty of it. We cant, he can, and by not only acknowledging both of those things, but also embracing them-proclaiming them even with joy and excitement- he is glorified, and we are made alive. Think about it. When are you more at ease, peacefully content and overjoyed than when you have acknowledged that you need God to get you through something, you turn that something over to him, and you rest in the fact that you can, but he can, and has promised that he will.

So, God will always give us more than we can handle, but he has promised to give us what we need to get through it, and that isnt a set of skills, or wisdom, or stengths- its himself.

Rest in him, knowing that to be completely dependent on him is to bring him glory.

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June 18, 2009

6/17/09 Discouragement, Hypocrisy, Is He Really Everything??

Not much day-to-day stuff to share about yesterday. I slept a lot, which was nice cause I’m exhausted from work. I really wanted to hang out and socialize with friends but it just didn’t work out. I don’t know if it’s the crazy amount of work the last couple weeks or if everyone is just busy, but I miss everyone. Actually I just miss human contact haha. I guess there has been a lack of conversation, or not really lack, but major drop in the percentage of time I spend conversing over the last week or so. So that’s been different. It has given me a lot of time to read and write and study though, so I guess it balances out.
All in all yesterday was super discouraging, but I had a semi-realization moment at work. In our worship we say ‘All of you, is more than enough for all of me’, ‘Christ in me, you are everything, be my everything’, ‘all I need is you, all we need is you’. And in our prayers ‘help me to see that you are all I need, help me to be complete in you’. You know the songs, you know what I’m talking about.
It’s evident in our words. It’s evident in our sermons. It’s evident in our worship. But is it evident in our lives?
If you were to ask me, what is Jesus to you? How does your relationship with God effect your life? I would say (as would most of us), he is everything to me, it is everything to me, without it I would be nothing. But do I live like that? Because yesterday my friends acted like they didn’t care, and I wasn’t ok. And yesterday I calculated how much money I would be getting on this next pay check and it wasn’t as much as I would have liked it to be, and I wasn’t ok. And yesterday I wanted to go lay out in the sun with my family on the bay but I had things to take care of here in town, and I wasn’t ok.
If Jesus is my everything, than shouldn’t I be ok, no matter what’s going on, unless I am separated from him?
If Jesus is my everything, then why do all these other things matter?
And the funny thing is that when we finally hit rock bottom, you know, when we finally have such a bad day or such a bad week or whatever it may be, that we’ve just really hit the bottom. Then it all makes sense- we figure out that all we need is Jesus, that we are just completely fine and happy in him and that even though our circumstances are bad we can find joy in our relationship with him.
So the truth of the situation then, is that these things don’t matter. If we are happy with just Jesus when everything else is taken away, then we can be happy with just Jesus when all these other things are added. I think Satan likes to mess with our minds in so many situations. Here, we are completely fine the whole time, we are completely satisfied and we are not lacking anything, but he confuses us so that we don’t realize it. All these other things-friends, money, popularity, circumstance- whatever it may be, they aren’t where our happiness and joy are coming from, we just think they are. Our happiness, our joy, our contentment and peace of mind, it comes from God, through these things sometimes, other times not. But Satan doesn’t want us to know that. All these things just make us feel safer, make us feel more comfortable, we think we need them, but we don’t. Our automatic response when these things are taken away from us is to freak out, I mean, we’re not going to make it, our day is ruined, everything is over…right? Wrong. But we don’t realize that. So we spend an unredeemable amount of time-time that we will never get back- in a rut and stressed and worried about what to do and how we’re going to cope with this.
Have you ever noticed that just when we’re beginning to lean on something for strength and happiness (apart from Jesus), God seems to take it away for a few minutes? Almost as if to remind us ‘hey, this isn’t where your foundation is, this isn’t where your joy is coming from, don’t forget’. Have you ever had something, probably the one thing at the time that you thought you just couldn’t do without, be taken away or be put under stress or whatever it may be, and you just didn’t know what you were going to do, until you realized ‘hey, actually I’ll be just fine, I can’t believe I was putting so much trust in that like it was going to help me’.
Sorry for rambling. Point being…How do we make Christ our everything? Or better question, since he already is technically our everything, how do we keep that fresh in our minds and make it evident in our lives?
Because until we reach that point, until I reach that point, we’re just living in hypocrisy.
So that’s what my brain came up with while baking pastries in the middle of the night. Hope it helps someone out, or at least causes some people to think. I know it’s something that I am struggling with and I know that as humans we generally share the same struggles so hopefully by expressing this someone else will be on a quicker road to the same realization. Let’s live like he is our everything.

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June 17, 2009

6/16/09 Coffee, Communicating the Word More Clearly, and Balance...

Well…after staying awake till like 10am yesterday morning, I finally went to sleep haha. I kept thinking of things I wanted to look up and research, or write, or write down in a journal, etc. Anyway. Sleep was good, just short.
We were supposed to have a leadership study meeting at 7 but it got moved to next week. We have been reading through John Maxwell’s ’21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership’. Amazing stuff. I recommend it to pretty much anyone, but especially if you are in ministry or volunteer for any organization, or want to make a difference in the world, or care about people, or…well…you get the point. It’s good, practical, straightforward stuff, and its divided into 21 segments so its easy to pick up when you have time and then put down until your free again without losing track of what you read.
So we didn’t have that meeting but instead I went to get coffee with Candace at Starbucks. It was good to catch up because I haven’t really seen anyone from West Mobile in a couple weeks. The barista lady made me try a new drink- an iced caramel macchiato instead of an iced two-pumps mocha. She asked me why I always get the mocha (which technically I don’t, just routinely, I get other stuff like a double shot cappuccino, iced green tea with melon syrup, and idk, just other stuff) anyway, I told her I just don’t like super sweet coffee, I like really strong coffee tasting coffee. She said she would make it sugar free, and it wouldn’t be so sweet. But I think she thought I meant, I didn’t like a lot of sugar, but I meant I didn’t like a lot of sweet TASTE. Anyway. The drink was good, but sweet. So yeah. Next time its an iced two pump mocha again haha.
After that there was work…again. I’m kinda tired, cause I’ve worked 6 nights in a row, and it’s a lot of work- heavy lifting, pushing heavy racks, moving heavy pans and a thousand boxes. Ugh. But yeah. I have Thursday thru Saturday off so I’m looking forward to that.
Ok, serious thoughts for this blog. I’m feeling an increasing urge for the Word, not just to read it, but to learn it. And not just to learn it, because there is a lot that I know now, but to be able to better explain it to other people. To learn what I know in a way that I can communicate it to others more clearly, take it and break it down and help people understand it, in a better way than I can now. That takes work though, so its easy to just kind of shrug your shoulders and walk away you know? But yeah, I’m working on doing more of that, studying and learning, not just for my own benefit but for the benefit of others. How many times do we think of that? Usually its just about us. We sit down with the Bible to learn something that we can apply to our lives, or something that will help us figure out what to do about the situation we are in, or whatever it may be. And that’s fine, and good, and we should do that. But at the same time, how many times do we sit down with the Word and say ‘God would you please reveal to me whatever it is that I need to be able to share with whoever it may me that you want me to share with’. Idk…just a thought.
Another common theme that I’m learning more and more each day it seems, is the importance of balance. You always have two extremes, both ends of the spectrum, and you have people that will either go on one end or the other. And I think a lot of people my age get confused about a lot of things because they stop and look at both sides, both extremes, and they can identify with both. You can look at both ends of the spectrum and you will find things that you agree with, things that you admire, things that you believe, and to some extent things that are good. But the most effective point on the spectrum is going to be in the center area called balance. The area where the best of both ends comes together-compromise, balance, or maybe we could say the straight and narrow path? Idk. But you get my point. In any given situation we cant have one extreme and expect that to be completely satisfying. We have to have a bit of both, and take the good from both, and take them in equal portions so that we will remain in balance.
I say all this to say, the passionate hands on Christianity is not going to be effective unless it is balanced out with the bible thumping, doctrinally sound Christianity. And the Bible thumping, doctrinally sound Christianity (as we all know) serves absolutely no purpose and in fact just goes against the purpose unless it is completely submersed in the passionate hands on Christianity. So we need both. We need biblical doctrine, straight up scripture, objective truth, to be at the heart of all we do so that we have an absolute, an objective source to base decisions off of, a standard to aim for. But if we stop there we are going against what that doctrine says, so we have to also be passionate and hands on.
Ok I’ll stop rambling. Sorry there’s not much of anything of value today, I’m kind of distracted.
Sleep time.

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