well then. i guess i am returned.

it was a very good trip, despite two bouts of illness, one still lingering. not bad enough to slow me down, of course. the best was being with family - EVERYONE - and being WARM. and laughing hard with my girls. sure there were some pictures made, but they are not too inspired. i expect to make a little magic happen though, with some of them. i was a total pussy about the weather, leaving in the night, trying to escape. but it was not bad. all was well. thank you babyjebus.

and so another year ends. it was a rather bad one, despite trying to keep up a good appearance. too much sadness and loss. too much change and failure. stress. frustration. anger. very awful, to be honest.

at this exact moment, i do not see joy ahead.

but i always hope. like a silly child.