I have this thing about losing things. I don't like it. Who does? So a long time ago I built a mechanism. Not a mechanism with moving parts and levers, but one of those psychological defense mechanisms. What was the inspiration behind my masterpiece? I found that out at …

It's hard for me to be literal sometimes. This Virb has served as a private repository of thoughts, feelings, and ideas that I am positive only I can truly understand. I've changed the name of it so many times. The Percept (which means whatever is being perceived), …

You and I are habit formed
Creatures of routine
Our friends don't even notice
They don't even see
That once a day we part ways
And once a day we're free

You said that things are different
This time you feel alone
In your sorrows I'm not invited
Solitary, …

We found all the ways
To exploit our five senses
Taste smell hearseetouch

Each with its own price
Food perfume musicfilmsex
All forms of true lust

Bank on forgetting
The future brings us promise
Worth will equal cost

Can't rewrite the now
Tis the only …

I almost have to brace myself before I lay down to sleep these days. I will inevitably think of what stresses me out most. I'm so lucky my bed is comfortable. Sometimes I love it so much I lose myself in comfort, and that's never happened to me before. It's not an …

If I had control over myself
I wouldn't let my pupils dilate
My tongue wouldn't inflate
And my lips would move, not frown
My eyebrows would be down
And I could hear what's being said
My hands wouldn't be fists
And my body wouldn't be lead
My voice would be a …

Vivid memories erupt in Michael Wilmot's mind as he abandons not only miles, but his family, career, home, everything. Years after his accomplice, best friend, and mentor died, he started to remember. Just now he remembered the spot where she buried the box and decides …

Shadows in the dark
Who are we to be terrified
To be terrified
Be beyond scared
We the ones
Who were prepared
With lightning
What we once were
Our days on earth
Left with glimpses
Monsters
Instincts to run away
If our fears
Have a face
It's traced
On mirrors

The sound doesn't resonate well. It's harsh and loud. It's painful as it pierces the ears of those who hear it. And this time everyone knew what it was before they even realized how they responded. People clapped their hands to their ears. Everyone crouched down, some …

I fell asleep in an instant.
And dreamed a true story.
I drove over a bridge as the sun was setting.
The sky was modest of how beautiful it was getting.
Almost like it wished to share its secrets but couldn't find the person to confide in.
Until it found me, …

Let me read what you've written
Now write a book
I'll read it
Just to find where you put me in
No more notes back and forth
I prefer my own fiction
Rarely do I live outside it
The world stops
Where my mind begins

Flipping pages
Not …

Life's like a recipe. Before you know what you're going to make out of it you have to take some time to think. You ask people around you. You might ask your parents and you might even have someone showing you how things are done, but in the end it's only you who's …

I have planted a buffering system in my mind.
And it's diligently working all the time.
After every time I open my mouth and let out random talk.
There's a secret addition in a parenthetical thought.
For example, I say as sincerely as I can,
"I believe that's a …

I mailed my death away
It's in a letter
Within a box
That's inside a package
Sent to a dead king
His eyesight's gone
His arms are limp
Lips sealed shut
Blood blocked
Heartbeats impeded
By a bottle and a bed

But in my memory
He stretches arms around …

I'm trapped
I'm below
You speak
Softly, the words you think
They wisp slowly in the shape of a key
But you can't unlock me
Inside my safe
I stay
The one you told me to embrace

I went overboard
Deepest ocean
I went too far
No air
No lights
But I still …

The old man starts a tab
And orders every drink
And before he dances off his stool
And causes another scene
He asks to tell everyone a story
And promises a happy ending

He speaks
Of thieves and death
And characters without regret
Of spiders and their …

I spill
And slither with the cracks of the road
I let myself go on this downward slope
Gravity contemplates not slowly or quick
I collect dirt and glass in my fingertips
Separating skins feet and shins
Stretching further torso thins
The pores of the pavement …

My heel crunched the socket of your eye after I've spent hours wishing you were dead. It's gruesome, I know. It's awful, I know. But you're lucky I'm working on forgetting. You're lucky I'm working on forgiving. Lucky, for both our sakes that I'm a peaceful …

There's a magnet
In my mouth
It pulls
To your tongue
I've let it be
And become weak
But the power flows
In my blood
And I
Only have to
Let it back in
If I close
My mouth
Lay upside down
Allow all my insides to shift
Closer and closer
To my …

Long brown neck
So tough with muscle and tissue
Your mane unveils ferociousness
Your eyes unveil foolishness
So you swallow
And you let your throat still
So that the catch you just caught
Without losing a thought
Is alive as it descends to the pit of Hell
And …

There's so much I miss.

And there isn't a night that passes that I don't wish things were different or one that I don't wish I could decide what stays in my memory and what doesn't.

I am responsible for my own actions, decisions, and the situations I allow myself to get in. I am …

There isn't a night that passes that I don't deeply think about this. And there isn't a night that passes that I don't remember how deep I have to dig to find what I'm missing... or what I lost.

Life is invaluable and with this world turning with or without me, I need to make sure I'm doing everything I can to make sure I'm not wasting life. I set boundaries, I set goals, and at the same time I open myself up to an infinite number of new ideas and feelings. I …

It's like sand no waves can reach
I spent years pulling weeds
It's like a lock with a secret key
Always down here on my hands and knees
It's like a tree root deep under your feet

I rose my eyes to you
You dropped your eyes to me
I can see right through you
You …

Right now, pause. Take a breath. Take a deeper breath. Remind yourself of what it's like to breathe on purpose. It's like the opposite of when you first put on pants. At first you notice them so much. Then, after a while, you don't even feel them. Now find your …

I think more important than having proof or even evidence is having examples. These examples were never meant to be evidence and they don't prove anything. They just give you a little look inside the world's dark corners. A little reminder they exist and you have to …

I barely sleep anymore. And when I do, it's at the times when I know the world looks down on me and asks whether I'm making the right decisions or not. I'm not sure, but I know my life is not what it should be. I know I'm not who I should be. I'm not out to prove …

take my time
lose my touch
smile after and before

leave together
dream apart
you try to close my eyes

spread my lips
close my throat
i'm in your memory

i know one thing
of all i think
and that's that
if nothing else
this is still
one damn good …

The trees kept my comfort
And blocked streetlights
The garden fence a fortress
Holding back the fight
My eyes saw winks
I tried not to blink
They all wish they could see
The sky I've above me
But where are they?
Where is everyone?
Are they all sleeping?
Just …

swim
in dangerous waters
can't seem to find the shore
every way
i turn is blue
feet kick
faster please
don't forget to
breathe
i follow you forgetting
there's a monster at my feet
kick faster please
it's not me who's slow
i dove
i raced
i swallowed …

Divide and divide and divide
Eventually all that's left is inside
Pray and pray and pray
Eventually all that's left is today

And we walk slow
Heads up, voices low

Sometimes
Our souls stop
To window shop
And
Our bodies keep moving
Feet keep …

Over clouds and under mountains
The baby shark does slice
Through the heart of the desert
Through the northest ice

Eating little animals and losing trust along the way
No matter how careful, she knows she's okay
But that's not what she wants or what she …

You spent hours walking along the gyri
And carefully leaping over the sulci
You've seen all the surface, experienced all of its grace
You exhausted yourself trying to win the race
The race to knowing what you want to do with your life
And so far you've hoped that …

Will she choose someone else? Do I? Do I let my inhibitions down? Do I concentrate on impressing and dressing and acting and wit? Do I do what I've never done? Do I do what I always have? Do I try to forget? Do I try to remember? Do I hold on to hoping?

Do I have to …

I remember you back in first and second grade at St. James Elementary. You and Natalia were the coolest girls in our class. I was the weird quiet kid who just tried to get through the days without getting embarrassed. With that wavy, bright blonde hair and those glasses …

She asked: "Is it worth it to imagine?
He replied, "Last night I had a dream..."
She asked, "Does it make sense to speculate?"
He said, "Last night I had a dream!"

In her mind he's mouthing syllables, she's trying to read his lips...
Those lips aren't meant for …

It took me two months to realize how absolutely wrong I was. I didn't listen to Missy when she told me this wasn't about the distractor, but about the percept. This equation. This life lesson. I didn't listen to the words she spoke or the feelings I got from her …

The string in your hand is splitting
In fact it's almost sharp enough to cut through your soft palms now
But it never has, it never will

How much longer can you hold onto it?
How long ago did it start pulling toward the heavens?
It lifts up your heels
The sand …

People tell me they think I'll be a stronger person after this. They tell me things about the person I am and my place in this world. It's nice to hear that I'm a caring person and that taking my heart and turning it inside out for someone shows that I am incredible. …

The last time we said goodbye face to face was the happiest goodbye I can remember. We kissed. We hugged. We kissed again. "Buona notte... ciao bella. I love you." That is our last goodbye that I will hold onto for my entire life.

I know exactly how she felt when I …

I dropped Missy off in Cheboygan today and thoroughly enjoyed the car ride back to Ann Arbor. I spoke to her mother and father on the phone - something I've wanted to do for over a month. I listened to one of my favorite books of all time, Chaim Potok's "The Chosen", …