I had a dream. and it wasn't pleasant at all. it was about him.
it was scary. He died. and in my dream I was trying to bring him back to life.
and in this dream, I was genuinly scared of losing him. I was sad. And I felt like
I needed him.

he's not supposed to be a part of my thoughts.
he's not supposed to mean anything at all.
because he looks right past me, in the non dreaming life.

why did I have such a dream?
and I swear. I am not lying.

three whole years. and going.
I'm wracking at my brain and heart. telling them that you are a waste of time.
but i feel like they'll never let go.