missing you

Missing you.
It's your presence.
Not the smell of you or the crying.
I don't necessarily miss the busyness.
I can do without the dirty diapers.
But you two, I can't do without.
I miss you. And you.
Just being here, that's what I miss.

authenticity

Are we even capable of being truly authentic? This is a question that has been nagging me lately. I am feeling pretty inauthentic. It's not a meltdown or depression. It's simply busy-ness. It's being too busy to explore the deep life of my soul. So I rely on pat …

need video camera

yes, i need to get one. convince my wife we need one at www.thesearbys.net. you'll see how cute our kid is and you'll know what i mean.

The Balancing Act

It is truly a challenge to balance your life with a new baby. It's not as if you didn't want to be home when it was just you and your wife. Rather, the stakes are just that much higher. You fear your son not knowing you, growing up thinking his dad is a workaholic, …

How short the days

It is amazing me how much shorter my days seem now that I'm a dad. I think its because most of my time at home is spent oogling over Evan in some way and that passes the time so quickly. Last night, after working until 7 (ugh) I came home and it seemed like five …

Daddy, for real now

Yes, it's been a while since I posted because I had to post on our family blog (really Jen's blog) while she was having a baby and recovering. Now I've started back to work and she's at home so I will begin he saga of fatherhood for all the world to read. Ok, maybe …

almost Daddy

The contractions are 5-8 minutes apart now. We're still at home. Gonna go take a walk and see if we can pop him out. Just kidding. But we are going to take a walk. Can't wait to share some pictures with everyone!

The Blasphemy Challenge

Has anyone heard of the blasphemy challenge? I just learned about it today. It really makes me sad. Basically its a campaign to get people to deny the existence of God and mock him by denying the existence of the Holy Spirit. The mocking part comes from a poor …

Still just daddy - to - be

That's right, no baby Evan yet. Did I tell you all that? That we're naming him Evan Jacob Searby? We are. Evans, with an 's' is a family name on my grandpa Parmenter's side. Jacob is Jen's brother and my good friend. So there you go. Pretty neat huh? He's "due" …

Typical - and completely atypical life

The typical part is that I've slacked off on posting. Life just gets in the way of that. Unless you're committed to spending lots of your time on non-business internet surfing or you don't spend time with your wife when you're actually home. So that's why I haven't …

Daddy Joel?

Yep, he'll be here soon. Jen is due in four weeks so I'll be daddy in real-time, not just "supportive husband of pregnant wife." Add to that the fact that we're moving in a week and you get yourself one crazy time in our lives. But it's wonderful. We get to …

Travel fun

Yesterday while returning to Gainesville from Harrisburg, PA my flight was delayed. Of course, its never just one. Because that was delayed we missed our connecting flight to Gainesville. Usually, no big deal. But, they canceled the later flight to Gainesville. …

I'm busy getting ready to work

Yeah, that's what I said. We're going to Tampa this Thursday through Sunday to work with an awesome new church there (www.commongroundtampa.com) and help them re-do some rooms. So, today and tomorrow I'll be scrambling at work to make sure my job is done well and …

sleep deprived...

I didn't sleep from 6:30am on Wednesday until about noon yesterday...and I did it on purpose. I had a funny little test called the "sleep deprived EEG" which measures brain activity and is apparently much more effective if you haven't slept. Needless to say, yesterday …

what's an MRI like?

I had an MRI yesterday. Have you ever had one? Its kind of like laying under the street while construction is going on above you. Sounds like jackhammers, laser-rays, high-powered saws and other machinery are happening the whole time. They give you headphones to …

faced with the prospect of a changing world...

...i worry. How much of the bad in the world is infiltrating me and how much of the good in me is infiltrating the world? It is a question that haunts me. It's a race inside my heart and mind and soul. Who's winning? Am I simply another person who draws pieces of …

a memory of summer

I was reading about summer memories last night, which sparked one of my own.

I remember laying on the floor in my parents bedroom in the early summer. I know I did this many times but I can't remember how often. The windows would be open in the second story of our …

social networking and our future

So until I joined Virb I had never been a part of a social network. I can see the appeal. It's cool to connect to people all over the world with all kinds of interests. Here's my concern: how many people replace a lot of other, more meaningful social interaction with …

the quiet space between yesterday and today

There are certain moments that are just right. For me, one of those times happens almost every morning. It's the space between arriving at the office and starting my work day. I always try to take at least fifteen minutes just to think. Sometimes I write. Sometimes …

The Weekend

This weekend was filled with fun stuff, primarily sparked by a visit from a friend. It's great when friends from out of town visit because it reminds you why you love living where you do. You take them to the places you enjoy and show them the highlights. So Friday …