Posts
OctoberOct 15 Thursday 09
Babysitter Bassist Baby Issue
I was chatting to Walt, bassist with indie band The Babysitters yesterday. I have been trying to poach him for a few weeks now, using all my powers of manly seduction. I think Walt is a thoroughly agreeable chap and a very good musician – the kind of very good …
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OctoberOct 12 Monday 09
Telling Teenage Fortunes
No.50
You will renounce alcohol.
After a few months you will nounce alcohol again.
You will go on to renounce alcohol once more.
(You will probably nouce it again next week.)
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OctoberOct 9 Friday 09
Early Spurt
Audrey and I went for a jog at the crack of dawn today for the first time in months and we bumped into a woman with whom I was acquainted years ago. She used to look like a mutant version of Jennifer Aniston. This morning she just looked like a mutant.
She was jogging …
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OctoberOct 6 Tuesday 09
All Fall Down
The woman with the nasty big black Labrador was stalking us again this morning on the rec’.
I have never spoken to her but I find her rather irksome, to say the least. In fact, she annoys the hell out me – and Audrey. I firmly believe that certain people should not …
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OctoberOct 2 Friday 09
On Passing a Log
Several old and blighted horse chestnuts trees – providers of conkers for generations of local schoolboys – have been felled on the park recently, and some delightful teenagers were sitting on one of the big trunks yesterday when Audrey and I passed during our …
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SeptemberSep 28 Monday 09
Telling Teenage Fortunes
No.49
You will try really hard to like Charlie Parker.
You will realise you don’t like Charlie Parker.
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SeptemberSep 26 Saturday 09
Believe Her
So there I was yesterday searching through some of the old Big Arena Records podcasts we did last year and came across this little gem: Believe Her.
Another old song that has been recorded over the years in different forms. If I recall correctly, there is actually a …
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SeptemberSep 25 Friday 09
Keyboard Player Required
Yup. Enormous are looking for a piano/organ player-type-thingy person.
If you have a loud piano or a big organ, leave a comment here or contact us via mail@enormousreloaded.com.
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SeptemberSep 24 Thursday 09
Special Dispensation
I have just received exclusive permission from the Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI himself allowing Audrey and I to walk around the lovely graveyard of St Peter’s Church on the outskirts of the village.
Apparently, according to the local vicar – a wiry man with bushy …
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SeptemberSep 20 Sunday 09
Village Secret
When Audrey and I bumped into Reg this morning he was with his horrible new friend Nigel.
‘Hello you two. How’s things?’ I ejaculated in a cheerful manner.
(I didn’t feel like saying that at all, to be honest with you. I actually felt like saying something more …
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SeptemberSep 17 Friday 09
Telling Teenage Fortunes
No.48
On a sunny day in September you will decide you want to learn to speak German.
On the same day you will realise that quite a lot of musicians are autistic – and you seem to be acquainted with all of them.
These things are not connected.
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SeptemberSep 13 Friday 09
Enormous Animal Lovers
Wandering around the park during the school holidays this summer, Audrey and I have been admiring lots of the new and surprisingly specific graffiti.
On the bandstand, buried amongst the rough sketches of female pudenda, football slogans and the omnipresent ejaculating …
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SeptemberSep 10 Friday 09
Auditions
Enormous are auditioning some splendid new bass players and keyboard players this weekend and next.
I’ll keep you posted if we have any news.
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SeptemberSep 7 Friday 09
Open Brackets
‘Morning, Reg. What you got there?’
‘Brackets, Davy-me-lad. Putting some shelves up in Nigel’s room.’
‘He’s settling in, then?’
‘Looks like he’ll be with me for some time. His wife’s playing silly buggers.’
I felt obliged to ask for an …
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SeptemberSep 6 Friday 09
Moaning Lisa
Monitor mix of Moaning Lisa on the music page.
Enjoy.
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SeptemberSep 4 Friday 09
Telling Teenage Fortunes
No.47
Due to your talent for offending people whilst trying to make them laugh, you will learn in later years to be more discriminating when opening your mouth.
Especially when, after not having had any contact with a certain bass player for twelve years, you hear on …
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SeptemberSep 2 Friday 09
Dish of the Day
I’m dishy. It’s official.
One of my mother’s friends told her after meeting me for the first time yesterday that I am ‘incredibly charming and very dishy’.
The fact that my mother’s friend is a local magistrate makes it official. I’m charming and …
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AugustAug 31 Friday 09
Blithe Moments
Bank Holiday Monday. Day off.
I must remember to be ‘off’ today. I must remember not to get too excited about anything.
No nuclear flashes of wit, artistic inspiration, or anger. Do not try to parse the elements of any knotty problems. Just relax, Davy, and enjoy …
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AugustAug 28 Friday 09
Gaiety of Nations
Reg has a new friend, a rather disagreeable little man with a penchant for buff-coloured nylon anoraks and greasy hair. Audrey and I bumped into them both this morning on the rec’.
‘This is Nigel,’ Reg told me. ‘He’s staying with me for a while. His wife has …
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