dawn houser

for the occasion of rain

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:01:10 -0800

when these photos came out of the camera, i was extremely tickled. their very essences are captured freezeframe. lucy mae, i am beholden to you.

we woke up to the sound of rain this morning. at first, i thought it was freeway traffic, but realized that it couldn't be that. rain after a horrible drought...i hope it rains all week. bring it on!

dmitri had never seen rain until this morning.

*drawing for a goodyprize is on saturday morning. don't forget to get your happy on and enter.*

happiness, tom robbins and orange

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 18:59:12 -0800

life is a crazy train. you can have ozzy sing it or have someone else in your head sing it, but life is a crazy train. i have been up working on a research project and had to take a break and change gears on the said crazy train.

before the researchin' hit fullspeed this week, i had checked out a book at the library. something that i could read the way we were taught to read. i don't know about you, but i grew up loving every detail that a writer gave me. i wanted to know the color of her skirt, what was for dinner, what the room was filled with and if the pigtails didn't exactly match in height. you get to graduate school and it is the 'closeread' bizniz. wtf? *get the gist, get the gist, another book done, grab the next one, another one bites the dust, hey, hey.*

anyway, i started another roadside attraction by tom robbins and the library receipt tells me that my goal is to finish it by 2/17/09. i have to finish it because a girl needs something to read on the train and i am already in love with tom robbins. i worked on the project, organized the studio more (i will try to take more photos tomorrow, since it is too small to get as far back as i need to take the 'big picture' shot.) and loved on tom robbins while i made this just for him. oh, and for me and my orange walls.

"The most important thing in life is style.
That is, the style of one's existence-
the characteristic mode of one's actions-
is basically, ultimately what matters.
For if a man defines himself by doing,
then style is doubly definitive because
style describes the doing.

The point is this.

Happiness is a learned condition.
And since it is learned and
self-generating, it does not depend
upon external circumstances
for its perpetuation.

This throws a very ironic light on content.
And underscores the primacy of style.
It is content, or rather the consciousness
of content, that fills the void.
But the mere presence of content is not enough.
It is style that gives content the capacity to absorb us,
to move us; it is style that makes us care."

Amanda in
Another Roadside Attraction

i knew this. i have lived by this, but now i can quote someone else. i was once reprimanded and scorned for being happy so when i read this passage, i was filled with so much (more) happiness and validation. sorry, buster, but happiness is a nonsin.

in honor of happiness and my three-year journey in blogging, i am doing a prizey drawing. tell me what makes you happy and how you get your happy on.

baby, lay it on me real thick and talk happy to me.

(i will assign numbers to each entry and put them in an egg basket and draw a number in two weeks from today on valentine's day.)

chrysalis

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:24:20 -0800

thankfully, the emergence from the chrysalis is so gradual. there had been days and sometimes years that she had to look to me for the right word or emotion to pull out of the bag. sometimes it was quite overwhelming for her. it is just plain hard to be a little girl.

the sweet emotion in those heavy little shoulders in this photo and the bravery to bury her head when she was overwhelmed still brings a tear to my eye.

when she found her beams, i was so grateful to ride the draft of them. as a mother, there is nothing more gratifying to hold your daughter who has found her own voice, her own feelings and her own thoughts. she can choose her own path and has planned her next four years in high school. *sigh*

butterfly, you make me so proud.

eggs

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:44:20 -0800

today is one of those days that it is cardinal sin to be inside. we are supposed to hit eighty degrees and popsicles just might be in order on the way back from the river this afternoon.

i went out to clean the chicken coop out and couldn't help from squealing about my first eggs. obviously, my barred rocks laid them since the araucanas lay colored eggs. i finished cleaning out their coop and kissed all of their little heads.

after the trek to the river, i will prepare babygirl the finest omelet ever.

spirit in a pimpcoat

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 08:06:49 -0800

one of the things that i have picked up again is my love of the target. we have to keep our eye on the prize and sharpen your aim. there is something so wonderful about the practice of it all. the prize of the target is to live life with the least amount of regrets, i think.

there are situations and people in life with the sole purpose of breaking your spirit. yet, the most wonderful fact is that you have to allow it to be done. there are just some things that no one can take from you. no one has the power to break your stride, except for yourself.

maybe, the rules get a little trickier. okay, promises will continue to be broken and enforced rules will get cherrypicked as to which ones will be followed. yet, spirit stays resilient and Someone always has your back. you have to claim that for yourself.

big news around here is that my studio is almost done. when we moved in, it was the dumping ground so the rest of the house could have a semblance of order as we started school. my goal is to have it done by tuesday and honey, i am on a roll. when i finish, i will share before & after shots. this has been a monkey on my back around here.

go forth and hug your resilient spirit.
oh, and don't forget to don your pimpcoat.

brooklyn girls

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:02:21 -0800

queen for the day

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 07:55:05 -0800

hunka hunka birthday love

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 03:47:12 -0800

when i was little, i would rush home from school to watch elvis movies. i can't decide on which of his movies is my favorite, but my favorite scene of alltime is the lil' spanking scene on blue hawaii. little girls are quite impressionable and this has to be one of my most favorite memories of all. though, probably not one of merle haggard's.

"on you, wet is my favorite color."
be still, my heart.

in honor of his birthday (while festivities are in full swing here since my mother swears up and down that he is my real daddy), i could ask you if it is really any wonder why a girl wants to be bad, even just a little?

tinseled year

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:41:58 -0800

the new year was brought in with fire, friends and rounds of trouble, not the ooh-you-are-gonna-be-in-so-much-trouble, but in the miltonbradley sort. i don't think that i have stayed up until 6 am in years and that was the first for the womanchild, too.

this year, i can't bring myself to make any resolution, except for one. okay, two. i want to maintain my 4.0 for this next year, too.

a year ago, i had no idea that i was to apply for graduate school, contemplate picking up and moving, actually doing just that, rehoming us and digging deep again. do we really want to know what is ahead of us? maybe, being fed slivers of an apple from a knife is easier to digest than the whole shinysweet apple at once.

the weather is insanely wonderful today. we have already done the vet appointment for dmitri, cleaned the chicken coop, washed and folded clothes (hot out of the dryer which is a first in maybe a year!) and thinking about taking the tree down.

this year is gonna be so bright that we will need shades or just more tinsel to throw on the glitterflame. happy new year!

off the hook

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 06:21:55 -0800

this has been a week of intense organizing, postholiday decorating and a little bit of whipcracking. i have new year's eve on my brain. at first i typed that a whip doesn't really scream new year's eve, but maybe it does.

whatev.
it does have its rightful hook now.

caught in glow

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 22:49:24 -0800

just like heaven is
strange like angels in my hair
giggles caught in glow

bowl of starlights & wishes

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:53:42 -0800

prayers and wishes
for you to be here with me
i would feed you stars

orange you glad i said yes

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:49:30 -0800

my friend leesa kept chanting '08 is out the gate!'and '09, we will shine!' yesterday. ryan read the tibetan meaning and sorrow of a year gone and it really made me think about this year that is rapidly coming to a close.

08 was an incredible year of refining and redefining and i am leaning to the thinkage that 09 will pick up where 08 will leave off. the older i get, the more i truly believe in the intricacy of God's weaving skills. if i were to try to explain it, it is akin to sitting in the open and having a perfect orange drop into your lap. it gets to the point that you can't question it, but embrace it and run like hell with it. if you stop and think about it all, it truly is insane in the membrane.

ponder, ponder, ponder...and then i come home to a beast that fits in my pocket.

whole on a wall

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 01:05:18 -0800

today is the first day on my break that i have been able to concentrate on organizing my life. with work and jobs, it seems like the ideas get shelved or stacked in laundry baskets.

one of the things that i had meant to do for months was to create a little shrine with my soul sister's photographs. i had saved each one and could see them as a growing whole on a wall.

each photo was sent during a redefining stage of my life and each was owned at that moment in which it was received. redefinition is about the owning, isn't it?

my favorite photo of all is bitch.

now on to finish making beds with fresh sheets and putting away piles of laundry. once i get tired of this, i am gonna call one of my bestest pals who really makes sense when she tells me "oh, dawn. you can't clean at night. it raises the dust in the house and then you can't sleep and then you get sick."

oh, hellz yeah, i am gonna own that stellar advice and declare it gospel.

dmitri noel

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:49:30 -0800

apparently, you can't even go to work and be an innocent. animals that need homes find you. i held him and said 'you look like my dottie.' the signs to take him home: his mother was named dottie and his grandmother was named dottie.

girlchild named her little beast, dmitri noel. he is half jack russell, quarter chihuahua and quarter rat terrier.

yes, we are in trouble, but happy. it all equals out in the wash.

come over

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:45:33 -0800

uncontainable

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:41:55 -0800

uncontainable---
while the dark tries to engage,
Light is defiant.

winged allowance

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 12:10:56 -0800

when i finally uploaded this video, we couldn't believe how little the girls had been at the end of august. as life rolls, hiccups and punches, it is safe to say that creatures (unwinged or winged) can really ground you. sometimes, it is the routine of caring for them and sometimes it is simply the need of being needed and the allowance of being held.

yesterday & today are my garagesale days. i am certain that i will find two more boxes that need to be sold, but there is always the springsale. when we moved in, the garage was just the dumping ground, so today, i will be organizing it during the sale. the routine of letting go & regrouping is a huge salve, too.

tonight is the decorating of the tree and the beginning of the holiday season in this house. yes, the tree is inyofaceandhonking fake and, on top of that, white...and we love it. somehow, the white makes the fake okay. i can't wait to sit back after some goals are met and be mesmerized by the lights tonight.

harvest year

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:43:50 -0800

when i was cleaning up the garden, these pumpkins really made me happy and grateful. this has been one of those harvest years that i get to compare where i was a year ago to where my toes are planted today. the changes and tweaks are quite evident. this year was a "just jump!" year. those words are ridiculously easy to say to your friends, but freaking hard to heed them yourself.

as this little house is still asleep and the chickens are fed, i am surrounded by a peace that only a quiet morning knows. quiet mornings tend to make me very reflective. this year has been one that contained the gift of being believed in, chances taken, new friends embraced, old friends (re)embraced, new paths journeyed, new gardens worked, goodbyes, letting go, hellos, freedom (which i am still getting used to owning), beloved children on their own paths, new traditions and things learned.

ooh, and add ---things unlearned, too.

lil flip

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 16:23:37 -0800

this semester, i have been a very bad blogger. it seems like i have left it in the corner and thrown chunks of bread at it whenever i was running past it and remembered to think about it.

today is final crit in my experimental book class. i still have to organize the pdfs for it, but it is a relief to have the work done since it has been the cute monkey on my back that handfed me bits of banana whenever it remembered. karma is a freaking bitch.

the semester is not over, but the pressure is, so i can breathe a bit and organize my life. as of last night, we can eat at the table again, but can't sleep on the bed. the table is a start, though.

the other night, i was asked about my religion. to come clean, i think i am more spiritual than religious. there are good prayers out there and then there is me. each morning when i walk up the hill or sit on a bale of hay with my chickens, i send little shoutouts to God with extreme thankfulness for how He weaves our lives and how when He shuts a door, but opens an even better window.

when i have the books on my back this morning and walk up the hill, i could bet bottles of ink that a shoutout will sound like "Dude, thank you for helping me finish these books and for the process of each of them and for this class and for my kickass instructors and for my friends who have my back." step, step, step. "oh, and Dude, You rawk!"