disconsolate

MOV09495.MPG

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 21:43:02 -0700

car trip.

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:35:15 -0700

i swear i look like a dork on purpose. haha, promise.
i.hate.pictures.

dorkasaur.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:24:43 -0700

the title explains it pretty well.

searching for beauty...

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:46 -0700

when beauty's all around.

at peace.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:42 -0700

she. is. brilliant.

rusted beauty.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:39 -0700

shipping docks are so much fun.

heart of stone.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:34 -0700

my love for you won't fade.

downtown holland.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:30 -0700

"with imaginations taller than our shadows."
-suz

hope

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:27 -0700

enhancing pointless graffiti.

fully alive.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:23 -0700

my favorite person ever.

forgotten.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:20 -0700

where this leads, i'm not sure.

alone.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:16 -0700

my handwriting, once applied to multi-textured cinder block, fails at being cool.

broken-hearted.

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:21:12 -0700

title explains it all, pretty much.

untitled [in itself, a contradiction].

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:04:02 -0700

.rooted to the landscape. complacent, tired, dirty just another crack in the sidewalk forgotten, overlooked. have we lost all memory of your importance? relying on your steady foundation unaware of our own hypocrisy? ...maybe we've lost the key that unlocks your beauty. shelved away with wildflowers and cloud shapes. modern perspective has tainted your image [maybe ours, too.] society refuses us, skygazers. conditioned amidst steel frames and textbooks-- our spirits [confined] with dreams never exceeding the horizon. ...until dawn (embraces) us in full giving back hope for a future of transparency. this is the essence of community; security, assurance that our shortcomings won't merit us a night on the floor. bloodlines and genetics have never superceded understanding. family-- a confused word that's been limited to mothers, fathers, daughters, sons. what happened to the grocer? the paper boy? our beginnings have been traced to the same ancient lineage, [born of the same clay.] letting our social class determine the lives we lead, the ideals we follow-- our spirits have never obeyed chalk lines on the floor. independent of reason, orphans apart from stability. this machine's presets can't define us. there is no place for flesh, blood, bones. spirit. modern medicine hasn't found a cure to rid us of the void. there are no laws defining the core of self, our thoughts, or who we are. in theory, there are no ways to determine one from another. until the stars fall, we have only worn shoulders to lean on. and our importance lies in that security. to uphold, and depend.

theoretical expansion of mind.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:37:33 -0700

Why do we limit possibility in the world around us? Why do we need a definite outcome for every action? Why does a 'cause' yield a granted 'affect'? To promote order? Of course. We're always seeking out stability in this world, ever-changing as the passing seasons. As mortals with a reality out of our grasp, we can only adapt to so much. It seems that everywhere we turn, organization is underway, with definitions for every thought, idea. Some would say that such ordinances are used to pave way for bigger plans - stepping stones leading us towards a horizon of oppourtunity. Yet all I see are walls; growing taller and stronger with each restraint our minds establish as truths or laws of nature. ...They say that love conquers all. That it can stand the limits of time and transcend disease, plague, and natural disaster. But if these statements are anywhere near accurate, then why do limit our affection? We've seemed to put love in a vaccum and seal it away, hoping it's some sort of stable element that can be preserved and kept pure in reclusivity. Yet so often, we fear this isn't the case, and our limited affection towards one another proves our frequent doubts. As with all things, our minds can only grasp so much. Have we, as humans ever been able to love completely, or accept it fully in return? Has love ever been pure or filled solely with good intentions in such a tainted world as this? I'm guessing the chances are next to nothing in a world of fallible people - and for most, knowing that is a scary thing to accept. Sometimes though, we have to. Without Love and affection, we'd be empty people; selfish and depraved, with every man for himself. We couldn't survive in such a place. So, with this in mind, we must adapt - love others where others can't love us. Accept that others will let us down, others will break our trust, and burn bridges, knowing there is hope for restoration, if we're willing. Adversity can't box us in.

galactic connections and thoughts from six feet under.

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 15:13:51 -0700

Where is the connection of spirit and body, where the mind starts and brainwaves begin? I've been waiting for hours to be free of my skin, but no one can help to untie me. There's a word for this kind of freedom, though one word is never enough. I could opt for being ordinary, cliche, or tired with my words, so I shall not try to describe the disconnect, where the soul can travel across dimensions unknown, free of the flesh. Where is it that pain and happiness have no division, because there is one state of mind to cover all? Where do feelings blur, yet we know exactly how to describe them? What is the essence of the soul? Isn't there one universal trait we all share? Is there a clarity of self and others we can grasp after death? How are we connected, though our souls are far apart? Our feelings lie somewhere inside our earthly vessels. Or do we lie in our bodies at all? Could it be that our immaterial beings lie in lofty places, far above us? Is there a mind's eye that can view the world from above? When will we reach eachother's corners? When can we know another fully? - feeling their pain, anguish, and knowing each insecurity. Will there ever come a time? We can only lie in wait, for the moment that transcendence sweeps each of us off of our feet...

somewhere between reality and a daydream.

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 19:23:29 -0700

Watching the sky turn blue on a mellowed winter day, we sat in silence, taking in the beauty of such a moment, and I felt the threads between us tighten. Moments later, feeling fully alive, we danced freely, eventually feeling a bit silly, but we kept on dancing, prancing, and laughing, neglecting our rather abashed feelings. The freedom felt in our souls had too often been neglected, shoved into the dreary cob-webbed corners of our minds. Not thoughts, just traces. Embraced the feeling, we have, since then. And we'll keep on dancing, 'til night turns to morning, morning to day. Until the day is no longer calculated by minutes and hours, because time no longer restricts possibility. Where our souls can mirror eachother's and transparency is possible. 'Til love in our lives is evident, and comes from every corner of our hearts in full bloom, reaching the abandoned alleyways and darkened corners. 'Til the strange is normal, and normal is no longer an adjective meant to describe a state of mind or being - where words can't define feeling, but our feelings can stand on their own and words aren't needed to know one's thoughts. Where words are no longer used in conversation, and conversation becomes something transcendent - a form of communication that doesn't need to voice itself, because it can dwell in the silence. Two souls can walk hand in hand, in full knowledge and awareness of the other. These are the days that I long for, and when they come they're cherished.