I started an internship at the beginning of last week and met with a really enthusiastic entrepreneur-expat who treated us to breakfast. Four days later I struggled to find the right words to say so I could get myself out of SEO-sweatshop hell. Weekly quota: 30 articles on plastic surgery until the boss says so, equivalent to 25Php an article. Dude, ikr. While I was throwing in the towel they tried to negotiate with me that I only had to show up those two days a week, write six articles a day, and still get paid 3000 a month. Life's too short, so I declined anyway. I'm a senior; I should be living it up, short of getting completely wasted.

It was an easy and sensible thing to say no to right, but it got me thinking about everything else I said no to the past four years of my life, and those other things that didn't even get a chance. I mean we're so quick to flee at every sign of discomfort nowadays, you know. I wondered if I was still capable of commitment and if I was still capable of working till my back broke for the things I did say yes to. I'd like to think so, because what I consider sacrifices now were given in the past without a second thought. Jesus did say a seed ought to die before it can begin to grow. But I also realized back then I was becoming a person I didn't like -- what was I growing into? On what soil was I sown? And then I had to walk away from everything I've worked/sacrificed for -- an episode not without drama (which was to be expected). Or perhaps, now I've learned to take a step back and stop with the careerism and overcommitment.