Musty, dank, humidity envelopes me as I slowly trundle down the long corridor that will ultimately lead me back to reality, back to my strange mundane existence. All comprehension of the life around me is muddled as I, deep in painful contemplation continue onward. My heart is chilled by the unsettling realization of this indispensable destination. Jaw throbbing from incessant grinding, throat swollen, parched, and dry from restraining the barrow loads of bewailing blubbering and heaving that had been occurring the whole day prior to this departure...my entire body feels the weight of this devastating encumbrance. What a divinely...arduous experience this has been.
With sweaty palms my frail grasp around the thick leather releases and my frame feels the shift. My over sized belongings once again, have tangled themselves into a blockade, which subsequently enrages the onward masses that yearn for their final entry.
"Ma'am, miss....you've seemed to have...uh dropped your luggage...ma'am...hello? Can I help you...ma'am... you're blocking the hallway..."
Face flushed red, bewildered into consciousness; I gather my load and continue on through the small plastic frame. Approached with called by duty smiles, I am kindly directed to the back. My eyes, my face, they're burning and a single blink was all it took before the salty tears were gently rolling, once again. A16, I attempt to gracefully plummet my, more burdensome than beneficial carry on into the small box above the seat in which I would inhabit for the next few hours. Inhabit or moreover, reluctantly be residing until the next dreadful layover. I claim my window seat and pray that the open place to sit at my side will remain vacant. At this point the all-too-accustomed, awkward, anti-conversational ramblings from a stranger would most assuredly be the end of me, and would be best if voided altogether from this depressing return trip.
I try and attempt some sort of comfort, as I pull out my tray of convenience across my lap. I then fold my arms in front on me to compensate for a fluffy, soft pillow that I seem to be lacking. I lean forward, nestle my tired head in my folded arms and for a moment I somehow find a dazed breath of release. I allow myself the satisfaction of a deep sigh.
"Ma'am...ma'am....you cannot pull out your tray until after take off...Ma'am.... please sit back and adjust your area until we instruct you to do so otherwise....thank you."
I respectfully oblige the flight attendant's abrupt instruction as I sit back and practice my patience, which is slowly but surely digressing into a total breakdown. As she finally made her way back to the front of the plane, I couldn't hold it any longer, I couldn't breathe any longer, and this was it. My shoulders began the slow kind of gyrating that leads into a silent sobbing...that mimics something of a small dog choking...or having an uncontrollable seizure. Honestly, it was all incredibly pretty melo-dramatic, if you can imagine it. The subtle, gently rolling, salty tears had now turned into unstoppable, pouring waves of breathless sadness.
After about ten minutes of this pity party, I somehow make a brief glance towards the sunset pouring into the right side of me. I attempt blinking some of my tears away which is clearly ineffectual because all I can make of this glorious sight is a blinding blur of colors. Finally, I wipe the salty ocean off of my face with my faithful sleeve, and I am in awe of what I see. Slowly my body begins to experience this overwhelming sense of tranquility...save of course the few left over spurts of compulsive intakes of breath that occurs after ten minutes of nonsensical blubbering. Eventually, I truly allow this peace to come over me. One of the most beautiful masterpieces ever created mask my sobbing eyes. I take a deep breath and make a mental note of this beauty before me. How vast and glorious, and I can think of nothing, I can do nothing but praise my magnificent creator.
Before my humble eyes, lie oranges, yellows, pinks, and purples, bursting from the horizon which is echoed back from the glorious deep blue, freshwater beauty that stretches 22,400 square miles... I think about the 12 million people who live along Lake Michigan's shores and how lucky they are to begin their day to the sight of this creation. I am in reverence of what my God has created. I realize once again, how small I am and how vast His wonders are. My heart is bursting with delight and I watch this Awesome sight fade into a misty fog. Finally, I pull out my tray of convenience, fold my arms in front of me and nestle my tired head as I drift off into a peaceful sleep.
"Hey Nichole...Hey....get up...we're here...get up...we're going to miss our flight...let's go.."