Empty

I saw you there
with him
laughing
having fun
not even caring
that I have feelings, too

you stare at me
and wave your hand
and smile your most
smug and content smile.

then, you walk away
as if you had never seen me
as if I was
never
even
born
which is how I want to be now
nonexistent
invisible
but no
you make that impossible

it seems as if
your goal in life
has always been to
make mine
a living
breathing
tragedy

it seems as if
you get some sort of
sick pleasure
from tormenting me
day after day
week after week
month
after
month

but this time
you've gone too far
I told you
so many times
about how
you can do anything to me
anything,
but that.

so now I sit here
curled up in a ball
not even making any effort
to wipe the dark streaks of make-up off my face
because I know it's over
I have nothing left to look forward to anymore
my life is not a glass half empty
or a glass half full.
it's not a quarter empty
or even a quarter full.

my glass
is empty.