Frederick E. Slidepole and The Bugs Who Took Over The World
Psychedelic / Experimental / Other
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About
It was not but six ages ago when Frederick Excelsior Slidepole dreamt up yet another manifestation of himself to descend into reality and drum up a rock 'n' roll band with this singular purpose: take over the world with sheer bug-power. So, this new Frederick E. Slidepole (whose middle name is still too horrific to be known, too incomprehensible to be beheld...beyond its initial letter, of course) recruited some of the most talented and/or best-looking insects, arachnids, and other creepy crawlies or slithering beasties the world had to offer, and groomed them for success.
Frederick taught the band to use instruments of both music and war. On weekends, they trained in rehearsal rooms, dive bars, rock clubs, and finally arena concert venues. Yet during the week, they trained in fields, streams, in the skies and on the high seas, logging countless hours in combat simulators and urban combat training camps. As experts in both the martial and fine arts, Frederick E. Slidepole's Bugs Who Took Over the World were ready to earn their namesakes. However, as with any band, personnel changes were inevitable as various members metamorphosed, started families, were recruited by other bands, or simply found themselves on the wrong side of a well-place heel.
Then, disaster struck. While on the last leg of their Covert Operations World Tour, the Bugs' bus, with all its members aboard (save Frederick, who always travels separately by zeppelin) spun out of control and was thrown from the New Jersey Turnpike when the driver was snatched from his seat in the blink of an eye by the merciless tongue of nearby toad as they passed through the wetlands of Secaucus. Casualties were heavy. Trumpeter Gary the wolf spider and singer Youssef "Mad Scarab Abdul Alhazred" the figeater beetle were killed instantly. King Gnat lost several million of his royal court and most others were squished, squashed, crushed, or merely lost a few limbs. The on the flip side, the earthworm dancers actually increased the size of their troupe when size when several were bisected in just the right places.
But today, the Bugs' lineup is stronger than ever. At last, they are ripe and ready to take over the world. Between Hinkey the Oleander hawkmoth's diligent fingers striking keys and pulling triggers, Fakor the pseudoscorpion's rat-a-tat-tat drum rolls and impeccable marksmanship, Solomon the Jerusalem cricket's handiness with strings either bowing or garrotting, and Hoshi the Japanese oak silkmoth's killer smile, The Bugs Who Took Over The World are a ruthless conquering and jamming machine, ready to jump at the every whim of their bandleader and uncontested commander, Frederick E. Slidepole.
In the words of the False Leafy Jar of Mordant Synthesis, "You would do well to tremble."
