Relax

We're surrounded by people, familiar faces to me but many of them new or at least not common to her. The energy in the room is electric, zapping loud and fast, zigzagging around the room. I watch her intently, trying to gauge her mood, anticipate her needs. She is clapping and laughing and waving her hands. Everyone is delighted, "she's happy." I try to let go and just live in the moment. She's jamming her fingers in her mouth. There's an edge to her laughter, almost delirious. My suspicions are starting to be confirmed. Does she need to eat? Sleep? Should I take her upstairs? Should I?

I hesitate. Why do I hesitate when the longer I stay the more the questions tap a tattoo into my head. Repeating, the rhythm rising to such a speed. I can't keep up.

I finally sneak away from the noise, upstairs, away. The voices now muffled. I nurse her and she immediately drifts to sleep, exhausted from a day of travel and trying to comprehend this strange place, these strange people. I wonder why it took so long to decide to step away. Why do I feel selfish when I take her to tend to her needs? Why don't I trust my instincts?

Then some point during her sleepy meal, I relax. I am her mother. I am taking care of her. Her body melts into mine. She's found her home in this strange place. Her warmth calms the waves of thought thundering in my head. We lie here, mother and daughter.

Reader Question: Practicality and Nursing in Public

Fia,

I was writing to you because I have been following your posts about breastfeeding. I know I don't have babies, but I guess I am curious because living in Mexico I did witness women who would just start breastfeeding in front of people and no one ever said anything about it, but I remember thinking it was sort of strange (I was a child). My mom never did it in front of others and neither did my aunts, although they did grow up in the US. I guess what I was wondering is sort of linked to the cloth diaper post you did and how you said that you do disposables when you go out, and I am assuming that it is because it is more practical. I was wondering what you thought of mothers who breastfeed at home, but do formulas when out...

...So I guess what I am asking is for some guidence or maybe what your view point is on this. Like I said on your blog, I have really never thought about these things and it really opens my eyes, so I thank you for that.

Jennifer

I think there are two parts to this question. There is the idea that formula is more convenient and then there is the idea that nursing in public isn't common and so when we see it, we find it odd. Some people even find it offensive and so we just shouldn't breastfeed in public. I want to try and tackle both these idea.

First the idea that formula is more convenient isn't an accurate assumption, though it is one that many people make. Breastfeeding in public (or outside the home) is very convenient. When I walk out the door, I only need myself, spare diapers and a change of clothes for Evelyn...and Evelyn, of course. With bottle feeding, whether formula or pumped milk, there is preparation and planning needed to account for how long you will be out, how much you need to bring, how to store it, how to prepare it when you are out, and many other questions that I'm not really familiar with.

Let's say that you decided to do it anyway. Jennifer's question assumes that the mother is only using formula outside the home, but is breastfeeding otherwise. Milk supply is based on a supply and demand basis. You cannot just skip a feed and expect your milk supply to remain unaffected. While many mothers could skip an occasional feed and be fine, for some women this could seriously damage their supply. It is a big risk to take if you don't plan on weaning any time soon. To prevent your supply from being affected, you would need to pump for that bottle you are feeding your baby. Now, in addition to all the planning mentioned above, you would need to bring your pump and find a place to do it in order to maintain your supply. This is especially important in the early months when your body is building your supply.

Supplementing with formula while out doesn't seem as practical or convenient anymore. If you are breastfeeding, it makes sense to continue to breastfeed even in public. I'm not going to go into the other downsides of using formula in this post, but until I write that post, you can find more info here, here, and here.

As for the idea that breastfeeding in public is offensive, breastfeeding is feeding our babies. We don't tell mothers to bottle feed in private, but because a breast is involved in breastfeeding, many people feel like breastfeeding needs to be kept private. Women need to have the right to feed there babies protected. I am very much in support of this. If someone is offended, look away. There is this idea that women breastfeeding in public are getting some thrill off of exposing their breasts. Any breastfeeding woman I have talked to isn't pulling up her shirts and waving her boobies around or performing a strip tease. She isn't drawing attention to the fact that she is nursing. She just wants to feed her baby and not have to hold a crying, hungry, confused baby while searching for a private room, you know?

There is also the idea that breastfeeding is gross and sexual and should be done in private for that reason. Breastfeeding is NOT sexual. It is natural, not gross. You know what I find gross: how pornified advertising and television have gotten. Objectified breasts disgust me. I think this hyper-sexuality in our culture leads people to think that the sole purpose of breasts is sexual. Heaven forbid, I actually use my body for anything other than sexual objectification. I think this idea is the reason we need to support women who choose to breastfeed in public. We need to normalize breastfeeding again so the general public can learn that breasts have multiple purposes.

Don't ask a woman to go to the bathroom. Would you eat there? Don't as a woman to cover up. Covers are ridiculous. I haven't met a baby past 3 or 4 months who could tolerate them and they tend to attract attention more than nursing without one.

So, the next time you see a mother nursing her child in public, give her a smile. Tell her she is doing a good thing for her baby. It takes courage to breastfeeding in public, because not only is there the fear the someone might harass you, there is the fear that you could get kicked out of a business even though you are legally protected to breastfeed wherever you are allowed to legally be.

December 2009 Decorations

I thought that I had posted my DIY Christmas decorations last year, but looking through my archives I couldn't find anything. Sad, I made this pretty garland from circle stickers and dental floss:

I wanted to make it again this year, but my time was limited.

However, I was able to create a few quick Christmas decorations. Here is our apartment all decked out:

Random Thoughts on Cloth Diapering

• If you want to try it before making a huge investment, enough prefolds for a few days (I bought 12) with 2-3 covers and a commitment to trying it for 2 months will be enough for you to break even on the cost of cloth vs. buying disposables.
  
  
• Thirsties covers are great.
  
  
• Prefolds cease to become a good idea when your baby becomes mobile. Our current diaper changing method is to distract her with a toy while leaning against the couch and do the switcheroo standing up. This method, however, makes prefolds impossible. If we try to put her on her back, we witness the pre-stages of tantrums. Oh, beware of impending toddlerhood.
  
  
• Use DiaperSwappers to buy used pocket diapers or all-in-ones and only buy one or two at a time until you find what works. Every baby is different and it's good to get the right fit. Evelyn is tall with chunky thighs and I've found Happy Heinys one-size pockets are great for her.
  
  
• I can't figure out leaking cloth diapers at night so we use disposables. Cloth doesn't have to be all or nothing. We also use disposables when we are out.
  
  
• Everyone has an opinion on stripping diapers and often point out the reasons not to use other methods. So right now I just do multiple rinses. Why Dawn? Can it be another dish soap? Will boiling really hurt my snaps and PUL?
  
  
• I hate Planet detergent because I have to strip my diapers more often and I just mentioned I don't know how to properly do that. BUT I paid a lot for it and that makes me feel like I should use it all before moving on.
  
  
• Baby clothing designer design for slim diapers thus making longer onesies and bigger pants necessary when using cloth.
  
  
• Big bubble butt as a result of bulky cloth diapers are so adorable.

If you don't understand some of the terms I used, Diaper Pages is a great place to start.

Gifts and the Holidays

Sometime around November, my mother calls asking for a list of things I want for Christmas. Shortly after that, Tim will announce that his mother needs some ideas for Christmas gifts. The older I get the more disillusioned I get with this holiday tradition.

I enjoy Christmas. I enjoy Christmas carols. O Holy Night is my favorite, followed by O Come, O Come Emmanuel. I love decorating the tree, the increase in social activities. I miss the colder climate. It takes more oomph from me to get in the spirit, because growing up in the Midwest, the bitter cold was a sign of the season. The way the brisk air catches my breath and steals it away in a soft cloud that floats around my head like the exhale of a smoker. I remember being young and putting my hands to my mouth imitating a smoker puffing on a cigarette and giddily exhaling the condensed moisture out of my mouth.

I love being surrounded by family on Christmas. I love the movie Elf. I love gathering around the tree and reading the story of Jesus birth with my parents and sisters (and now husband and brother-in-law) before the sun is even up on Christmas morning. Though now that we live on the West coast, this tradition isn't as fun. I mean, my body thinks it's 3 am, people!?!?

I enjoy all of this but as I grow older (man, I'm an adult now), the gift giving aspect of the year just seems wrong. For one it is the antithesis of true gift giving. A gift isn't something you ask for or expect. It's something someone gives you with no strings attached, unexpectedly, because they want to. I find our culture's scheduled times for gift giving miss the point.

In addition to this, I feel trying to come up with a list of things I want interferes with my ability to enjoy the season for the reasons I want to celebrate it. It does one of two things, inevitably.

1) It makes me materialistic. I start to focus on things instead of people. Once when I was little, I threw a fit when my grandparents bought me the wrong Barbie. I was reprimanded for being ungrateful, but now that I have a daughter I can't help but think that I, and all children, as set up to be ungrateful when it comes to the tradition of Christmas gift giving. If we are honest, many of us compare our gifts with siblings (yes, even as adults) or we are disappointed when we don't get the one item we really want.

2) I feel yucky for living a privileged life. When I look around, I need nothing that I don't already have. So whatever I ask for is only a want, not a necessity. Because this time of year tends to make people feel charitable, it turns my stomach to make a list of things that aren't going to make my life better and just might become baggage, dragging me down.

This ruminating is not to say that I don't like gifts, receiving or giving, but rather I find that the older I get the more I cringe and feel burdened by following this particular tradition during this time of year.

Excuse for Retreat

Tonight, we attended a housewarming party for a friend. The house was packed with people, their voices melting together, buzzbuzzbuzz, and my attention started drifting. I couldn't concentrate on the conversation I was in because of the chorus of conversations going on around me. The lights got brighter, the movement more dynamic, the sound whizzing around me, the atmosphere thick with the energy of others. Everything entering through my five senses and bouncing pin-ball style through my brain. Ricocheting off corners, setting off bells, flashing lights all around.

I am a self-confessed introvert. I once read that introverts may be extra sensitive to stimuli and the reason they seek to be alone is to because the stimuli can become too overwhelming. Conversely, extroverts aren't a sensitive to stimuli and so they have to seek out interaction in order to satisfy their senses. I find that this view of introversion/extroversion suits my experience. Sometimes, when large groups of people get together, the commotion can be too much for me. My brain seems to shut down and I feel so distracted because I can't shut out the background to pay attention to the foreground. (If you know me and have ever caught my eyes glazing over in a conversation, more than likely you are not boring me, but rather I'm having trouble separating what you are saying from all the clamor around us.)

Enter breastfeeding. The perfect excuse to get away. Okay, so I don't arbitrarily leave a social setting to go feed Evelyn. However, over the course of a party or other type of social engagement, Evelyn will need to eat and it's a nice respite for me and a way to reconnect with her. I can breathe in the silence, pull myself back in, put the fragments in my brain back together. I can lean over my beautiful child, sink into her soft cheeks, quietly smile as she lifts her finger to trace my lips. I can run my hand over her silky hair, hum her favorite hymns softly. I can rest and just be.

Removing Guilt from the Conversation

My husband took Evelyn out for a short while to give me some time to myself. After a luxurious soak in the tub, I decided to use the rest of the time blogging. The use of both hands and time that isn't interrupted every 3 minutes is a real treat.

I want to talk about guilt and why it doesn't belong in discussion about breastfeeding and other parenting issues. I want to talk specifically about the avoidance to talk about certain topics for fear that it will make another mother, or father for that matter, feel guilty. My husband and I struggle with this sometimes because we are making different choices than our parents. While we are completely behind the choices we are making, we don't want those choices to point fingers in blame at our parents. And they really shouldn't. Most parents base their choices on what the believe to be the best thing with the information they have. Could we ask for anything more? The problem is when new information comes along, the options are different and we aren't really comparing apples to apples.

I breastfeed Evelyn and plan to for at least two years. I know wonderful mothers who used formula or only breastfed for 6 months, 8 months, whatever. We will not let Evelyn cry it out, even though my mother chose to sleep train me when I was a baby. We don't own a stroller and I'm not sure if we ever will. (Maybe someday when we add more kids to our crew, we will want a stroller. Who knows?) Some of these choices are very controversial and to talk about them seems to lead parents who made other decisions to infer judgment.

However, there are benefits to breastfeeding, gentle sleep methods, etc. What's more, there are some adverse affects of formula feeding, cry-it-out, and the like. Allowing the fear of making others feel guilty to zip up our mouths and stifle our voices about this information is a disservice to both the babies who will be affected by it and also the parents who do not know there is any other way.

And while we at it, can we please just drop the phrase, "We did X, and she's fine"? For one, maybe someone did turn out fine when they were parented a certain way, but that doesn't mean everyone does. It doesn't take away the fact that there are still risks from that choice. Secondly, do we want fine for our children or do we want the best? If we want the best, we are going to weigh to benefits and risks to certain approaches and sometimes that means taking a departure from the way things have been done in the past.

*A note to my mother and mother-in-law: Please don't take this post personal. It is not meant to be a personal attack. It has nothing whatsoever to do with any discussions we have had. I love you both and think you are amazing women and excellent mothers. :)

Sharing Sleep

Co-sleeping is a breastfeeding mothers best friend. I never thought we'd be a co-sleeping family, it just sorta happened. During the first few weeks, we had trouble getting Evelyn to sleep in her bassinet and ended up taking shifts with her sleeping on our chests on the couch. (Dangerous!) Now, I understand the need that babies have to be near their mothers. Now, it seems obvious that a baby naturally feels safe near her mother and in danger in a cold, isolated place. However what seems obvious to me now was distorted by the tradition of generation before me and years of seeing babies in crib, whether in real life, in books, movies...

Those first weeks, we could have been able to get more sleep and saved ourselves from worry by bringing her into our bed. If I had known about co-sleeping from the beginning, we might not have slept with her on the couch. I do not recommend this. We would have been aware of HOW to safely sleep with a baby. It took time to get where we are, but Evelyn now spends a portion of her night in our bed and we all get better rest AND we LOVE it.

Safe co-sleeping is another post for another day, but if you are interested check out these wonderful sources:

• Dr. William Sears on Co-Sleeping
• 10 Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child at Night
• Dr. James McKenna FAQs About Co-sleeping

The Teething Monster

An intruder has come into our house. It visited about a month ago and then was gone and everything was peaceful again. Until now. The teething monster is back and taking its toll on our family.

When the teeth come barging in, here are a few things we try:

• crushed ice tied in a baby sock
• momsicles
• teething rings
• last resort: Tylenol

Evelyn's two front top teeth are coming in. They started the day we flew home from visiting my sister. That was one crazy plane ride. I'm planning a post on air travel with a baby soon.

So, what tips do you have for dealing with teething? Cause I'm pulling my hair out over here.

Fallapalooza

Our church holds an annual fall festival and this was our first year to go. Costumes are encouraged which provided a great opportunity for us to put this hand-me-down strawberry costume to use.



I wanted to wear a costume, too. With little time to plan, I had to think of something that could be assembled from my closet with no trips to the store. It also need to be something I could wear with ease. After a few hours searching online during one of Evelyn's naps, I came up with the mad hatter.


Evelyn was a bit young to really enjoy the festival. She might have more fun next year. It really was just a chance for us to show her off. There were several other cute babies in costumes. We saw a monkey, a fairy, a deer, and a bumble bee.

The Baby Carrier Stash

This is my current stash (+1 that I used to own):

The other day, I got this pouch sling back out and tried it in hip carry and it worked. So, I decided not to sell it. Sometimes if a carrier isn't working for you, you can wait until the baby is older and try it in a different carry. This has been great if she is fussy and wants to be held but I have a few short tasks to work on. I just pop her in there and spend a few minutes doing some chores.



This is my workhorse right now. I love my mei tai. Though, lately I have been struggling a little with the back carry. I have been experimenting with ways to tie it on and I know some of it is practice. I hope to address my problems at the next Babywearing International meeting.


My newest addition! It is so beautiful (and I usually don't like pink). I bought it in the For Sale or Trade section of The Babywearer. Already, I have practiced a handful of ways to wear this and it just might pull ahead of the mei tai for my go to carrier...might. We'll see.



This was a gorgeous carrier, but sadly, I just never could get used to the ring sling. I had issues with tightening the sling and keeping the fabric from slipping and the positioning. I practiced a lot and tried really hard to make it work because the fabric is really vibrant (hard to tell in this picture). In the end, it just wasn't meant to be. I sold it to a friend and I hope she is getting good use out of it. Some people swear by ring slings, but this is a lesson that there is not one carrier that works for everyone and if something isn't working don't give up on babywearing, just try new types of carriers.

While researching ways to wear my woven wrap, I came across another type of carrier: a Kanga. It's an African baby carrier. Not only do I have a rebozo on my "would like to check out list" but now a Kanga, too.

SOL: Fall (sorta)

As autumnal as you can get in california.

sent from my mobile device

Posted via email from Fia's posterous

Sniffle

Was it when I caught her licking the side of the plane on the way home from visiting my sister and her new baby? Was it because she kept touching the strangers in the seat next to her on both flights? Was it the weather change?

Evelyn has been sick for almost a week now. She came down with a cold shortly after we returned from Nashville. The bulb syringe has been put to good use, even though I hate pinning her down with my knees and bracing her head with one hand while I stick this strange looking object up her nose. Of course, she fights and fusses every time. At first, I tried to make a game of it by squeezing it near her face so the tickling of air rushing out over her face would fascinate her. No matter how much she laughs at the game as soon as the syringe is near her nose, her smile turns to a look of concern.

I've been taking hot showers as she plays in her swing, the warm steam helping to clear her nose. We run the humidifier at night, but no matter what we do the minute she begins to nurse it becomes clear that her nose is still congested. Often she breaks off, turns away, frustrated that her biggest comfort is failing her. So, we wait. We wait for this intruder to run its course. In the meantime, I encourage naps often, letting her nurse during the nap so that she isn't awake to be annoyed by the snuffling of her nose. I cuddle and calm and assure her the best I can.

What tricks do you have for dealing with a cold?

**Thank you everyone for your support. A lot of readers expressed encouragement for the direction that I intend for this blog to go. I'm very grateful.**

Naive Beginning in Babywearing

This will be my first of many posts (I hope) talking about babywearing. I'm fairly new to babywearing, so you'll get to join me as I learn more. This first post will be about my naive beginning. In the future, I will write more instructive posts for those interested.

When Tim and I were registering for baby products, we decided to wait on a stroller. Babies are only in the infant strollers for so long and we weren't sure we wanted to buy something that would only last 6ish months before she would be ready for a more upright stroller. I did a little research and decided on a pouch sling to get us through the first months. I had images of slipping my baby into the pouch and walking around with her warm body close to mine as I loving looked down into her sleeping face...

...and then Evelyn arrived and it became clear early on that she did not enjoy being held in a cradle position unless she was eating. If you don't know what the cradle position is imagine the way small babies are naturally held, their head cradled in the crook of your arm with the other arm supporting their weight from underneath. Yeah, not our baby. She wanted to be upright so that she could get a better look at the world.

Being a new mother and new to babywearing, I tried the pouch sling with little success and watching my desire to use a baby carrier slip away. Being the determined person that I am, I used my phone during naps and nursing sessions to scour the web for babywearing resources. TheBabywearer.com was a great resource with explanations, pictures, descriptions of ALL the types of carriers (there are so many), and reviews.

For a short while, I still considered trying to make the pouch sling work. I thought maybe I needed just the right one. Then, I found what seemed the perfect solution: the mei tai! The mei tai allowed Evelyn to be held in an upright position, but still snuggled close to me and leave my arms free. Not only that, but I found a local babywearing group that had a library of carriers with the exact brand I was considering. I was able to check the carrier out for a month and that is when my love for babywearing began.

Since becoming quite efficient with the mei tai, I have experimented with ring slings and i recently attended a babywearing meeting and learned about rebozos. I'm itching to try one of these out. If all of these terms make no sense to you, don't worry because I will explain thing in more depth as I learn more about babywearing.

A Post I've Been Meaning to Write (Or Why I'm Still MIA)

I've been a little paralyzed by this blog. I don't really know what direction to take it from here.

First let me describe the last six months: I had a baby after 27 hours of labor. The second night home from the hospital, we end up in the ER because she choked on her spit up and stopped breathing for a short moment. Though she was breathing when the EMTs arrived, we took her to the ER to make sure everything was okay. We're new parents and entitled to be worried and cautious. My milk didn't come in for five days and we had to give Evie supplements until it did so she wouldn't lose more weight than she already had. That first week shaped the first six weeks and how I would react as my body started regulating my hormones. I was a bit of a paranoid wreck at first.

It also became clear that how I thought it would be and how it really is/was were vastly different. I thought after we hit a flow it would be easier to update the blog. Just do it when she naps, right? Hahaha. Evelyn has since taught me about expectations. Once I threw them out the window, things started humming along more smoothly. She has yet to settle into a routine. She takes catnaps mostly during which she likes to be held and nurses about half of the nap. Though night sleep has been great for awhile. She also nurses A LOT. Though not as often as the first couple of months. She often has to nurse in a particular way and no one else can be in the room. She will pop off and stare at them, even her daddy. For a few months I even had to nurse her in motion: walking, swaying, etc. She likes to be held A LOT too.

I've come to accept that this is the way it will be for awhile. I'm not complaining because I love it. I'm not in a rush to force her into anything she isn't ready for. I'm really a "go with the flow" type of mother and that is the way it is. All of this means my poor little blog stands neglected. My "style" right now consists of a nursing tank layered under a deep v-neck top, if the top is long I pair it with leggings and if it is short I pair it with jeans. I always wear my yellow ballet flats unless I wear my casual boots. I never wear jewelry and my hair is always pulled back. And forget about setting up to photograph and then finding the time for some photoediting and posting.

I had hoped to retain this blog as an escape from motherhood. A place where I could set my mommy hat aside and just be me. But I'm starting to realize I'm changing and being a mother is part of me. It has affected what interests me, what I read, what I look at. I'm starting to think it should affect what I write about and I'm fighting a losing battle by trying to reserve this blog for other interests. Some day I will have time to pursue outside interests but right now with a small human being dependent on me, my interests are in caring for her. Why should I rob myself of writing about this special time because I feel the pressure to be more than a mother. Yes, I am more than a mother, bu I don't have to prove that to anyone through this blog. And maybe when I stop trying to force myself into something I'm not ready for (ie. Someone who has time to pursue outside interests when her child isn't even one year old), there might be more activity on this blog. So topics you might see in the future: breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering to name a few. I'm warning some of my old followers because it is a big jump from where this blog came from.

Language

Reading the first paragraph of this article makes me cringe:

By 2010, Seoul's women should officially be happy — at least the ones with driver's licenses. In May, the city government started to paint 4,929 public and private parking places pink throughout the city, with thousands more slated to go under the brush next year. The pink parking spots, reserved for women drivers so they don't have to walk so far to work or the mall, are part of the South Korean capital's Women Friendly Seoul Project, an effort for the notoriously macho Asian city of more than 10 million to transform itself into a safer, more heel-friendly "space for women." [via Time.]

Emphasis mine. As innocuous as it might seem, it is language like this that seeps into our minds and can have an effect on stereotypes we create about women...or other groups of people that are being discussed. When people point out that it's "only words" or "just words" that I am arguing about, honestly the old saying "sticks and stones"...it's not true.

And yes, these parking places are being painted pink, because everyone knows that we women love our pink, as much as the mall and heels.

Love Notes: 7.27 (Mama Edition)

While I'm not going to fight against writing about motherhood-related material, I am also not turning this into a mommy blog. However, after four months of caring for a small human being (yeah, the responsibility kinda freaks me out sometimes), I thought certain products, websites, etc. deserved some Laundry Love.

I tried the Baby Bjorn, a Hotsling, even a ring sling, but the one that worked best for us was our Babyhawk mei tai (pronounced may tie). She hates being held in cradle, so the slings weren't really working. I feel she is pulled more closely to my body in the Babyhawk than she was in the Bjorn. While it looks difficult to put on, I actually found it is easy to learn. The straps can be unruly when I take it off, but I've figured out a folding system. There are many options for mei tai, but the Babyhawk grabbed my attention. I liked the padded straps and headrest. It was a lot of fun desinging my own and the fabric choices at Babyhawk were the best. This is what I chose:


I plan to try the ring sling again when she is older and I can sling her on my hip, but for now, the Babyhawk is the carier for us. I also really love wearing my baby.

I should mention by "us" I mean Evelyn and me. My husband likes the Bjorn and that is what he uses when he wears her.



The Boppy Pillow is not just for nursing. I carry it around the apartment all day and plop my baby in when I need to set her down but want her near me. When she was smaller, I would prop her up on it for tummy time because she would tolerate being on her stomach longer when she was on the Boppy. Now she is stronger and enjoys being on her tummy. She has even started rolling over!

We also have the Boppy travel swing and it is great for lunch time. I put her in the swing and go in the kitchen to prepare my lunch.



I'm going to start this by saying, I love breastfeeding. I can't really explain just how amazing it is to nourish and comfort your baby with your own body. God created such a wonderful way for a mother to provide for her child.

However as natural as breastfeeding is, it does not come naturally. It is a learned skill for both mother and child. I wish that breasts weren't such a taboo and so sexualized in our society. I think it is absurd that the primary function of breasts is considered more vulgar than all the cleavage we see advertising products every day. My youngest sister was born when I was 11 and my mom breastfed her for a year, but I have no recollection of seeing her feed my sister. I find this sad because the invisibility of breastfeeding in our culture has led to generations of women who don't learn about breastfeeding until shortly before we have our child and therefore the learning curve is steep. We have to figure out everything instantly. When we have problems, we might not have anyone to turn to. Luckily, my health care provider offers free lactation consultation. I'm really blessed. For those not in my situation, kellymom.com is a free resource with many articles, tons of advice, and a messageboard for questions or even just support from other mothers. I have definitely done my fair share of frantic reading at this site trying to figure out if my experiences are normal.



If you can afford it, any handheld device that is multifunctional is great for those long hours of nursing or even times when baby naps in your arms. I happen to have a G1, but I'm sure other devices would suffice. It has been an alarm clock when Evelyn needed to eat every 2 hours. I use it to surf the web, update twitter, take pictures and video, play music, keep up with email, chat with family, send messages to my husband in the other room to bring me water...I've even used it as a light during the dark hours of the night.



28 hours of labor ending with a healthy baby and few problems. I couldn't have done that without the wonderful people helping me.



Cheap, but fashionable clothes. If the kiddo spits up, who cares? What more can I say?



Pixies, Nirvana, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, The Beatles, and more...on a marimba. Songs that I don't get tired of hearing when Evelyn naps. Plus, I transferred them to my G1, so I have them wherever I go.



I have few precious minutes to prepare food. I miss experimenting in the kitchen, but for now I need something I can zap in the microwave. As a frugal vegetarian, my choices are usually heavy on the cheese and not very healthy. I could pay more for premium frozen vegetarian entrees, but Healthy Choice All Natural saves me from the sticker shock. They taste great, are full of fiber and antioxidants, and done in less than 5 minutes. My favorite are the Sweet Asian Potstickers. I am a little disappointed that the meals with mushrooms have beef or chicken fat. I plan to write to Healthy Choice about this...in my spare time.



Any moms out there want to share with us the products they love?

Adding Links

I added some new links to my links page:

Approaching Lost
Dooce
My Sawdust
Today's Greatest Song EVER!
Young House Love

For more great sites, check out the links page.

Laundry List of Link: 7.24

It takes a Village

Interesting thought:

"...in hunting-and-gathering societies, children were raised by their mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Today, a woman raises her children to a tremendous degree by herself. We weren't built for this, so we run ourselves ragged. The problem is not motherhood; it's the responsibilities of modern motherhood." [via Cookie Magazine]

I can honestly say that I have cursed modern society a few times these early months with a baby. I keep thinking of the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" and I think, "Where's my village?" It's not there.

What do you think? If you are a mom, do you feel like you have the help you need? Or do you often feel like an island raising your child?