Joe rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his …

Joe rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Joe smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Joe breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..." He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" The flustered, embarrassed Joe stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!" She's astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They're full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they're firm and don't sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!" Clearing his throat once again, Joe stammers - "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lILXUjM6ppE&feature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lILXUjM6ppE&feature=related

In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, …

In the Garden of Eden,
as everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
without any clothes.

In this garden,
were two little leaves,
one covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.

As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
the wind came along,
and blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
All covered with hair.

And wonder came,
Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
started to rise.

They found a spot,
that suited them best,
a nice big tree,
where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.

The head of Adam's thing,
Peeked into the hole,
and filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose,
Until Adam's thing,
Was all out of juice.

Then down through the years,
People did screw,
and now it is time,
for me and you.

So pull down your pants,
and lay in the grass,
because I'm in the mood,
for a piece of that ASS!

There was a guy and his Pet monkey... he decides to stop at the bar …

There was a guy and his Pet monkey... he decides to stop at the bar and have a drink, he walks in with his monkey,sits down,& orders a drink the monkey starts runnin around and gettin into everything jumps on the bar and starts eating the lemon,limes and cherrys the bartender jumps up and says hey he cant do that!! the monkey jumps down and runs to the pool table grabs the cue ball and starts sucking on it,then swallow it whole. the bartender furious,says you & your monkey get the f*@# out. The guy apoligizes,& pays for the drinks and damages and leaves. about a month later the guy walks into the bar again with his monkey he sits down,& orders a drink. after a few,the monkey climbs up on a stool and grabs a cherry off the bar the bartender watches as the monkey sniffs the cherrry then sticks it in his ass the bartender"what the hell is he doing"? The guy replies"Oh,he loves cherrys but,after the cue ball last time he measures things first. Thanks for the invite!!

Question: Why do all women love Jesus so much? Answer: Cus when …

Question: Why do all women love Jesus so much? Answer: Cus when you're hung like THIS......