They're getting to me, and my attitude is devolving. I used to think of people in terms of three categories--a few friends, even fewer enemies, and many innocent bystanders. Now I'm down to two--friends and livestock. I am buffeted and trampled by a horde of mindless, souless meat on the hoof. I need to get out of this pen, this coop, this sty.
alright, so i know i havent contributed at all yet, but i am now.
the thing i hate the most about myself is that i am so completely adaptable.
that might sound like i good thing, but its really not.
i can be whoever you want me to be. i conform to what people expect out of a girl like me.
and its made it so that i am rarely who i really am, which is a loud, raucous, sometimes angry girl who isnt afraid to speak her mind.
but since im a petite, pale, blue eyed girl, i am usually quiet and reserved. or, if thats not who i feel i "should" be at that particular time, im something else.
its disgusting.
i know this is kinda rambling, but thats how i am.....? maybe?
who knows.
certainly not me.
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I think the hardest thing for any human being is to look at themselves in the mirror and see not only what is good but also what is ugly. However, even with how hard a task that might be, it is so important to do. I believe all of us have the capability of overcoming what we believe is ugly within ourselves. Once we do, there is much we can accomplish.
I know it is not easy because I still fear at times the darkness within myself, but if I do not face it, I won't be able to move on. Funny thing about myself is that I actually have a a pretty low self-image. This has been something I have had to struggle with quite a bit, and it has really hindered me in so many ways. Even though I have improved quite a bit, there is so much more I need to work on.
Anyway, I am not sure if that is what you wanted echo. I'm not a poetic person like I've seen so many here to be, however, I tried to be honest. =)
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The greatest cause of atheism in the world today, is Christians.
Those who walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
THAT is what an unbelieving world, simply finds unbelievable.
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XTC
"The Ugly Underneath"
First there's the handshake
It's so warm that you could bake by it
Designed to take attention from their
Ugly Underneath
Then there's the wedding
The co-ordinated bedding
And the fairy tale shredding
Boy it's Ugly Underneath
After the pretty
There's a gluttony of pity
On a cake called nitty gritty
And it's Ugly Underneath
Did you ever try to prise away the mask
Go ahead, take a spoon and try
I can tell you it's a herculean task
Go ahead, it's okay to cry
What you're chewing on's the truth
And that's the hardest thing
To wash down with a glass of lemonade
The Ugly Underneath
The thing with politicians is
I wouldn't have suspicions
If I saw their worst positions
And their Ugly Underneath
But after all the voting
Suck away the sugar coating
Now they've had you and they're gloating
Boy it's Ugly Underneath
Did you ever try to roll away the wheel
Go ahead, take a fork and try
See the unattractive things that make us real
Go ahead, it's okay to cry
What you've trodden in's the truth
And that's the hardest thing
To wash down with a glass of lemonade
the song is up. first on the playlist. required listening. all other songs optional, but recommended.
http://www.playlist.com/user/7998548
i don't know what i'm doing here. i don't know what to say. just that i'm trying. anyone?
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