o·.·´¯`·.·oLisao·.·´¯`·.·o says:

I lost my step dad in 2003 I have the picture posted of the grave stone. He as a very kind man and always willing to lend a helping hand. He was a Firefighter/Chief/EMT/Paramedic, vlunteered for firefighting at my home town, also worked for LaFarge cement comapny and COOP, and did EMT volunteering for the Kansas City Chiefs. I can begin to tell you how amazing he was. He took us camping every summer more like our Anual Float Trips. SPent time with me as a kid and just so funny. He looked down on people who wouldnt lend help when needed though. He hated laziness. We went to the Nascar Races here out in Kansas City, Good time Good Times...He was more of a readl dad to me then my actuall dad. I just cant describe to you just how amazing he was.

Then about in 2000 or so he started having heart problems and needless to say he had a stint placed in near the heart and i guess he had to have the surgery done again...well thanks to this no good hospital screwing up he had an anurism and i can honestly staring at him on the table as they took all the plugs and tubes off I have never felt so empty in my whole life. I remember the feelings as if it was happening right.....i want him here more then anything with me...all i have now is a helemt and picture here and then and some t shirts....the funeral was bautiful and very nice...i just wish he was here with me....i miss him to know end and i still cry to this day

since the day he passed away i have only been out to the cemetary like 5 times....it just hurts inside to go and see the stone that sits there and see my moms name next to his while she has a BF that she now loves....it really pisses me off....but....I miss you...and I love you

posted Jul 19

Comment replies (3)

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The decent American says:

he sounds like an amazing man!.....treasure the things like the helmet and stuff.....those things are what keeps us in touch......I have personally never visited my fathers grave,.....my own opinion is that he" is not there........in the ground.....and this 'ritual" only hampers the grieving process,and delays healing.....but thats my own personal feeling........it does not make you a bad person if you never visit a grave though..........share what he taught you......be his example of how to be.

posted Jul 23

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o·.·´¯`·.·oLisao·.·´¯`·.·o says:

thats what i look for in a man is what i saw in him as my dad

posted Jul 25

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The decent American says:

right on!

posted Jul 26

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Brian-archy says:

Here's the blog post that I made on the 10th Anniversary of her death: In Memory of My Mother

Thanks to the both of you guys for joining and for sharing.

posted Jul 16

the Rested Traveler says:

I lost my father at the very end of 2000 as well. I just very recently (in April) lost my mother to an aggressive T-Cell variation of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.

The two scenarios were night and day different, but both hurt terribly and nothing could have prepared me completely for either. My father was quite elderly (83) and had been confined to a bed for several years...we all knew that it was inevitable and we prepared ourselves as best we could. My mom's diagnosis and prognosis came at us like a shot out of the dark when we all least expected it and we sat for six weeks helpless other than to turn to each other and to higher powers as she withered away right before our very eyes, in spite of her best efforts to prove all of the medical experts wrong.

She was only 74 (yes, there was 15 years difference between my mother and my father ... all I can say is "GO DAD!!!"). I still haven't completely come to terms with why my mother was chosen as a victim to such a rare and deadly disease. She was a kind and gentle spirit with a fierce heart. Due to her life's circumstances, she had nothing more than an 8th grade education, but she was more well-read and intelligent than most people with graduate degrees that I know.

It's been tough for me to accept that she's not here any longer. I still haven't even been able to even force myself to remove her name and photo from the contacts directory on my cell phone. I guess some part of me wants to believe that I can still call her and know that she'll be there when I want to tell her about one of her grandchildren or about how my day went at work.

I have to thank Brian-archy (I) for creating this group and I have to thank my wife, Heather, for pushing me to join it.

posted Jul 16

The decent American says:

I lost my father 7 years ago.......Words cannot describe the feelings, as others here can attest to.....when this happens to a person.....it puts you into that exclusive club" that nobody wants to be in yet is.........and the lessons that come to you after the loss, can only be learned, by going thru this process of loss.

posted Jul 16