OK, it seems that most people are misunderstanding the purpose - and therefore the title - of my weekly blog "Happily Unmarried Ever After". I fear this is partly my fault, as the title can be a bit confusing, and my public, apparent serenity for my single status, deceiving. Many months ago, a dear male friend who was at the time telling me the ins and outs of his romantic life and how it was all not leading him to where he wanted to be (down the aisle, at the altar - YES girls! Some men want that also!!) blurted out something that shocked me. "You don't want to get married anyway, because you want to be happily unmarried ever after!" It hit me then, my self assurance and now my blog, they were actually giving people - including my innermost circle of friends - the wrong idea. That's the day I changed the ending to my book and clarified my stance on the matter. But I never took it any further, thinking my written work would speak for me and explain it all. Unfortunately, it still hasn't had a chance to do so. So, last night, a friend who has recently come into my life was trying to justify to me the lack of support from some of my other acquaintances, regarding my website, which is so dear to me. She was answering my complaints that some people have chosen to be painfully silent about my personal achievements. "Well, our Hindi teacher is probably thinking this is a phase, since all women end up getting married eventually" and further "your friend is probably thinking this is a personal attack on her, since she is in her late 50s and single and you named the website after her 'condition'." Hum... OK, my blog isn't really a phase, because even if/when I end up finding a wonderful man to share my life with, I still am going to be the same woman, writing out my thoughts the same way and making time for playing with my girlfriends whenever he and I agree it's cool to do so. I am not being a feminist and I am not married to the idea of being unmarried (pardon the pun!) I am simply giving a voice to those of us who actually enjoy the journey as much as the actual destination. We are those women who don't wait for a date to enjoy a Saturday night on the town and don't mind buying ourselves flowers and candy for Valentine's Day. That is not a phase, it's who I am, always have been, always will be. And regarding my friend who might have taken the blog as a personal affront, I doubt it. It is quite clearly about me - photos of me plastered on every page, my favorite goddess looking over it all and my VERY personal adventures and tales decorating, in writing, the whole thing.
So, here I go, one more time, for those who may have misunderstood me or weren't really paying attention. Enjoy my blog and read it lightly, because ultimately it is an invitation for all - single and romantically involved - to have fun. My writing should help you shrug off the negative comments of nay-sayers who think it's OK to ask why you aren't married yet. It should also guide you to accept that life is always an amazing gift, even if a great partner isn't going the distance with us and to make sure that if the right person comes along, you are smart enough to recognize their worth because of your wisdom and experience. So you see, mine is not a phase nor a principle, nor a dare, but rather a survival skill...