you should call this number: 303-840-2073.

i do believe that it's time to quit drinking when you're sitting on the stoop and your crackhead buddy and comes up and says, "damn, you drinkin' again?" and then gives a little sigh.

the best idea i've ever had for a piece of artwork is to make a branding iron of my name and then to use it on dolphins. then someday when said dolphins are discovered there would be this big scandal and i'd get famous. everyone i've told about this idea gets jealous and wishes that they were me.

the forth best idea i've had for a piece of art was to masturbate in front of famous paintings of naked women. but that's not the kind of shenanigans i go for and i'd more than likely chicken out anyway.

the only idea i've ever stuck to with my art is to charge $2500.00 for any piece i do. most people think it's a terrible idea but they don't realize just how bad it is. you see, not only is that my price, but it's also what i've forever condemned my work to be worth. it never appreciates in value and if someone attempts to resell for more i'd retain all profits. that might get hard to enforce, but i've got a walters contract so it won't be that difficult until i die. i do trade, however, but most people don't want to take the time to come up with something creative to trade me. i'm hoping you do though, cause it could really help me out. we could have a meeting where you write offers on little pieces of paper and pass them across the table and then i pound my fists repeatedly and storm out of the room offended.

the second best art idea i've ever had is to figure out which cop car has the cops camera crew in it and then to follow that car around until they pull me over. then i'd have to explain myself to all these cops who would most likely be angry, confused, parinoid, etc...but i think i could convince them that i did nothing wrong and maybe i'd get to be on tv.

the third best art idea i've ever had i don't remember.