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    <title>HUCK</title>
    <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic</link>
    <description><![CDATA[I was checking my Myspace page earlier this afternoon, trying to keep up with all of the fabulous offers, media requests, messages from chix and general business nonsense that is funneled through it when I spotted an ad on my home page that asked "Are You Hotter Than Miley Cyrus?" and prompted me to push the flashing button to find out.

I was intrigued.

This isn't something I have ever considered before (I swear), but what if I am hotter than Miley Cyrus?  I could push the button, but am I prepared to accept the responsibility that would go along with the title Hotter Than Miley?  Would it be fair for me, a grown man, to supplant a 15 year old girl in her fantasy life of nonstop fame and fortune?  Seems like I was being offered the opportunity regardless of fairness, and if the powers that be don't care, why should I?

I hesitated, my cursor hovering over the blinking button.  I imagined Miley onstage, lip synching whatever tweener crap she's famous for, when from stage right her achy breaky dad strides toward her, covers the mic, and whispers in her ear.  She bursts into tears and exits stage left, followed by dad, who shoots me the stink-eye over his shoulder.

Someone takes me by the elbow and leads me onstage to what used to be Miley's microphone, and there I am, the New Sensation, center stage, feeling the heat of the spotlight and the adoration (or is it rage?) of thousands of kids and their parents.  The music starts again and I realize I have to do something, so I bust the only move I can think of, which looks like a combination of three things:

1.  I forgot to take the hanger out of my shirt before I put it on.
2.  One of my legs is three inches shorter than the other.
3.  I'm killing a spider.

I'm hearing boos, so I try another move that I've worked on for years in front of my mirror that is a hybrid of The Mashed Potato and the Green Apple Quick Step.  I hear gasps, but I ignore them and quickly do some calculations: Miley made $18 million last year...that's about two grand an hour...$34 a minute...if I can keep this up for, say, two minutes, I'd rake in...$68.  
 
I'm already out of breath.  Do I really want to be referred to as the guy who had a seizure onstage at the Miley Cyrus concert for the rest of my life for a lousy $68?  I don't think so, but there's no way I can keep this up long enough to make any real money.
 
So a stagehand rushes onstage and stuffs his wallet in my mouth so I don't swallow my tongue, and suddenly I'm no longer in the spotlight, I'm back at my desk looking at my suddenly drab Myspace page, perturbed not by having a midday reverie about living the life of a 15 year old girl, because we all do that, but by something that will surely keep me awake tonight:
 
How is it that my fantasies end in failure?  
 
I didn't push the button.  Fuck it, she can keep it.
]]></description>
    <generator>Virb 2.0 (@huckmusic)</generator>
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    <item>
      <title>Tweeting 3 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours, 45 minutes, 31...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7011721</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Tweeting 3 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours, 45 minutes, 31 seconds (July 28, 2006). How about you? <a href="http://bit.ly/eC942" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/eC942</a> #howlong]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:09:59 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7011721</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>How do I know China wrecked the Copenhagen deal? I was in the room | Mark...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7011096</link>
      <description><![CDATA[How do I know China wrecked the Copenhagen deal? I was in the room | Mark Lynas |    Environme... <a href="http://bit.ly/7GnXoW" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/7GnXoW</a> (via <a href="http://twitter.com/twttimes" target="_blank">@twttimes</a>)]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:05:09 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7011096</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>RT @mikeleeorg: #funny #quote: "All I ask is the chance to prove that money...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7010389</link>
      <description><![CDATA[RT <a href="http://twitter.com/mikeleeorg" target="_blank">@mikeleeorg</a>: #funny #quote: &quot;All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.&quot;]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:02:02 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7010389</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>I'm using a Droid. What's the best Twitter app?</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7009607</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I&#039;m using a Droid. What&#039;s the best Twitter app?]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:56:44 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7009607</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Making some homemade Cioppino. Shutup!</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7008684</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Making some homemade Cioppino. Shutup!]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:50:58 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7008684</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Last day to apply for Bootup Demo Days. Flight &amp; Hotel incl.  If I was...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7007812</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Last day to apply for Bootup Demo Days. Flight &amp; Hotel incl.  If I was raising a Series A. I&#039;d be in.  <a href="http://tr.im/IsZK" target="_blank">http://tr.im/IsZK</a> /via <a href="http://twitter.com/maurar" target="_blank">@maurar</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:43:33 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7007812</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Nice! -&gt; Flying out of SF or San Jose Dec 23? Let #Yahoo pay for your...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7005926</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Nice! -&gt; Flying out of SF or San Jose Dec 23? Let #Yahoo pay for your baggage! <a href="http://bit.ly/8tUhjd" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/8tUhjd</a> #youin /via <a href="http://twitter.com/yahoo" target="_blank">@yahoo</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:28:36 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7005926</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>RT @ratherfancy Aol's leap of faith http://post.ly/Fxbs</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7001805</link>
      <description><![CDATA[RT <a href="http://twitter.com/ratherfancy" target="_blank">@ratherfancy</a> Aol&#039;s leap of faith <a href="http://post.ly/Fxbs" target="_blank">http://post.ly/Fxbs</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 10:09:42 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7001805</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>How my compliance in murder showed me the future of theatre. http://post.ly/G0S0</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7001804</link>
      <description><![CDATA[How my compliance in murder showed me the future of theatre. <a href="http://post.ly/G0S0" target="_blank">http://post.ly/G0S0</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Wed, 23 Dec 2009 10:09:41 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/7001804</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>I will not be checking in at SFO, SJC, BOS, YVR, SEA, JFK or LAX this...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6992743</link>
      <description><![CDATA[I will not be checking in at SFO, SJC, BOS, YVR, SEA, JFK or LAX this holiday season. K? Thanks.]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:09:14 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6992743</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>You know it's Xmas when you're not sure if you should open amazon...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6989279</link>
      <description><![CDATA[You know it&#039;s Xmas when you&#039;re not sure if you should open amazon boxes.]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 18:53:47 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6989279</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>off for a bunch of days. very excited.</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6988334</link>
      <description><![CDATA[off for a bunch of days. very excited.]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:46:17 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6988334</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Feeling sad for yourself? Watch this: "Last Minutes with ODEN"...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6987394</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Feeling sad for yourself? Watch this: &quot;Last Minutes with ODEN&quot; <a href="http://post.ly/FvL4" target="_blank">http://post.ly/FvL4</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:46:12 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6987394</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>ZING! "horseshit artist" &amp; "Also: open is an adjective, the noun form is...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6984675</link>
      <description><![CDATA[ZING! &quot;horseshit artist&quot; &amp; &quot;Also: open is an adjective, the noun form is openness.&quot;
<a href="http://bit.ly/8BRBzm" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/8BRBzm</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:29:58 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6984675</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>How Success Killed Duke Nukem: http://bit.ly/5oJ4qR</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6984674</link>
      <description><![CDATA[How Success Killed Duke Nukem: <a href="http://bit.ly/5oJ4qR" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/5oJ4qR</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:29:58 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6984674</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>*  ❄     * ❄      *      ...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6983562</link>
      <description><![CDATA[*  ❄     * ❄      *       *      ❄ .     *  ❄    * .  ❄    ❄        *        ❄ _______________________☃_____]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:01:44 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6983562</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Hells bells! -&gt; A feature-length documentary about the only band that...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6980942</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Hells bells! -&gt; A feature-length documentary about the only band that matters, The Replacements...
<a href="http://www.colormeobsessed.com/" target="_blank">http://www.colormeobsessed.com/</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:51:45 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6980942</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Dudes Christmas song, enjoy! http://bit.ly/7IPQZ5 /via @weareTheDudes</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6980940</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Dudes Christmas song, enjoy! <a href="http://bit.ly/7IPQZ5" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/7IPQZ5</a> /via <a href="http://twitter.com/weareTheDudes" target="_blank">@weareTheDudes</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:51:45 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6980940</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Interesting stuff about Vimeo's business...</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6979618</link>
      <description><![CDATA[Interesting stuff about Vimeo&#039;s business model.
<a href="http://boagworld.com/reviews/vimeo" target="_blank">http://boagworld.com/reviews/vimeo</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:44:17 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6979618</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>RT @mashable iPhone Is the Most Popular Phone in the US http://bit.ly/4wYjjE</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6978195</link>
      <description><![CDATA[RT <a href="http://twitter.com/mashable" target="_blank">@mashable</a> iPhone Is the Most Popular Phone in the US <a href="http://bit.ly/4wYjjE" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/4wYjjE</a>]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:39:49 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/huckmusic/posts/status/6978195</guid>
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