GIGGLY GOO: when i was a child, i wanted things that did not exist. actually, i still want things that do not exist. i loved the Berenstein Bears books. there was a christmas edition where it listed toys that the kid bears wanted. sister bear wanted a many things, but most intriguing to me was the moldable snot green goop called “GIGGLY GOO”. i asked my parents for it. i did not understand when they said it was not “real”…how could it not be real? it was in this book, this cartoon book right in front of me. i could make all sorts of snot sculptures and figures. endless fun. the burning desire for this ficticious slime drove me insane. i would think about it at night, lying in the bed. one year, i got some slimy squishy blob that, when squeezed into its container, would make a fart sound. it proved to provide hours of fun. even when covered in hair and dirt. but it never filled the Giggly Goo void.

ANNIE: when i was 4ish, i wanted Annie to come over and have a sleep over. again, my poor parents had to break the news that she was not “real”. it pissed me off…this “not real” thing. i just thought Annie was a bitch and did not want to come over. at one point, my parents told me the girl who played annie (what????) was probably much older than me at the present time anyway, and it would not be fun for me. this was baffling to me.

why am i plagued with this want for things that do not exist? maybe one day, 8 year old Annie will come to my door with a jar of Giggly Goo and all my dreams will come true. maybe.