http://virb.com/jadeejf Virb 2.0 (@jadeejf) en http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1088192
I've gone to bed early two nights in a row, but last night I just couldn't fall asleep. And then I woke up at 6:30 with a leg cramp and didn't really get back to sleep. Anyway, it's been a rough couple of days, and it's chilly here again tonight :(

It's so strange- they only do single-pane windows here (at least until we get the new ones installed), and I'm pretty convinced there's no insulation whatsoever in the walls. For a 'green' city, they're very inefficient with their heating. And yes, it is mild here, but 40 degrees is still cold enough to warrant having heat on in the house. The a/c, though, is completely unnecessary, which I'm a big fan of :) I suspect summer here will be awesome, because every room has at least two windows- good cross-breeze. Can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to warmer weather and better windows.

I had less-than-firm plans to go down to Portland tomorrow to hang out with some friends and babysit so a couple of my friends could go out for Valentine's Day, but I'm pretty icky-feeling and don't know if driving six hours would be a good plan :/ I'll have to make good on my plans at some later date.

Alright, well, I'm back to being totally exhausted. Hope I sleep well tonight, and don't get any nasty leg cramps :/]]> Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:16:52 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1088192 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1084583 Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:29:44 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1084583 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1084582
I had an interesting conversation with a coworker today; it's more just something that's been on my mind that I wanted to get feedback on. You see, I think Seattle's starting to rub off on me. Or at least the part of Seattle that thinks snark is a high art form.

The other day, I teased a friend to another friend online- nothing I wouldn't have said to his face, of course, but the response I got was a little off. I brushed it off; in reality, on my end, it truly was good-natured teasing, and I would have happily accepted the same kind back :)

But then, after that conversation, I started noticing that I was doing something similar, but less friendly, more and more; twice in the last two days I've made a snarky comment about two different acquaintances, expecting to be lauded for my wittiness, and instead getting the head-tilt of "Did she really just say that?" Granted, it was a different situation than the previously mentioned one; in these cases, I would definitely *not* have wanted the people I was snarking about to overhear. And no, it wasn't particularly good-natured.

Unfortunately, I'm not really sure what to do about it, other than be aware of it and try to think before I speak. :/ It makes me sad, and I know part of it is simply because I'm around people who do it often; much like cussing, if I'm around people who drop an f-bomb in every other sentence, I will eventually start dropping the occasional one myself. I also can't really remove myself from it; around here, if I did, I wouldn't interact with anyone. So I guess I just have to work harder at controlling my impulses (dangit, I am *so* good at this, too).

Wish me luck. I don't want to be snarky; or at least not too snarky :) I'd rather be someone who is encouraging. I hope I can get there soon, but I don't think it will be easy.]]> Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:29:43 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1084582 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1083009
I've managed to trip it so many times in the last few days that I've memorized which breaker it is in the box (and can flip it in the dark!). The refrigerator runs on that breaker, which pulls a cubic ton of power. If I turn the TV on, I pretty much can't turn anything else on, including the microwave or multiple lights.

Fridge+microwave+TV=darkness
Fridge+two radiators+lights=darkness
Fridge+TV+lights+wall heater=darkness

Strangely, our computers are also in the living room... but they're on the one wall that isn't affiliated with the kitchen. Basically, it seems like the entire north half of the apartment, with the exception of the nursery is all on one breaker, along with the south and west walls of the living room.

I know we occasionally had this issue in our house back in Illinois, though I can't remember for the life of me what caused that to trip. It was a very rare occurrence there. I'm a little nervous about running the dishwasher and the refrigerator at the same time. I already have taken to reheating food in the oven rather than the microwave (hey, it heats up the house, too, so double bonus).

Anyway, I know none of this is particularly interesting to anyone but me. However, next time I wear the polar bear PJs, I'll be sure to take a photo ;) Unless someone wants to post that ancient one from the Crew winter campout to LJ ... ;) Shockingly, the same PJs that fit me at 16 can still hold my enormous-bellied self, which seems crazy, huh?]]> Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:17:35 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1083009 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1081616
It's still chilly- I am very eagerly anticipating the installation of the new windows. And we managed to get the computers up and running last night, which definitely helps me feel more at home.

So, that's that, for now. :)]]> Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:07:11 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1081616 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1075777
Anyway, I was on the phone with hermionegsnape, chatting about nothing in particular while I waited for the bus. When I got on, there was no one else on the bus, except the guy who entered just ahead of me. So, I sit down and continue chatting. Within about 15 seconds, the bus driver starts gesticulating at me, and I finally stop being oblivious and said "Hmmm?"

"You need to stow your cellphone!!"

"What?" (me, totally not understanding his request, as it has never been asked of me before on any of the hundreds of Metro rides I've taken. Heck, I almost only ever talk to people while I"m on the bus, because I'm not at work, and I'm not home, and I'm not driving. But I'm not obnoxious, either, I promise!)

"Stow your cellphone!!"

So, I end my conversation with hermionegsnape, and sure enough at the next bus stop, 8700 UW students get on the bus, complete with a set of four very loud conversationalists. I glare at the bus driver.

Then, one of the loud women, pulls out her cellphone. I glare more pointedly. (If I could kill people with my mind, that bus driver would have been toast). He actually makes eye contact briefly, but does nothing about the other cellphone chatter. Finally, the other girl ends her conversation and goes back to chatting with her friends (again, more loudly than me!).

By now I'm just upset about the whole situation, and pondering what I'm going to write to the Metro. I'm still going to, of course, because it was really rude, and obviously it isn't a rule applied to all riders. I swear, Seattle is the only town where bus rides are like being in the elevator- no one talks and everyone stares straight ahead. It's totally weird. They ought to send that guy to Manhattan for a day to drive the bus. Wanker.

So, by the time I'm close to my stop, I'm actually seriously crying. On the bus! In public. Good grief. (Like I said, hormonal, and obviously not rational, nor something that would upset me to the extent it did today).

Fortunately, when I got home, I was able to chat for a while with a new friend (Conveniently named Zack... which is only funny to myself and one other person on LJ, probably. Maybe three.). Anyway, I'm glad that chatting with him was enough to get my mind off my (totally unimportant) troubles. Apparently all guys named Zack are just good guys. At least, that's my theory :)

Alright, well, off to pack up a couple more boxes! Last night in our apartment!]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 13:44:07 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1075777 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1075776
I was definitely stressing about it, in part because I realized after last weekend that I'm a total weakling now, and that most of the boxes I was packing I wouldn't even be able to carry. And for a while, it looked like we might only have four folks helping out.

But then, this morning, the leader of our new small group e-mailed to let us know that the whole new small group is coming along tomorrow (that is, three guys and the one woman, who is just as pregnant as me!). And then, this afternoon, I managed to finagle the guy from upstairs who's moving into our apartment to help us for an hour or so. Amazing!

Carl was very touched, I think, that our new small group would even consider helping- we've only been to one of the Bible studies thus far, and barely know them- and had to skip this week to pack. Our former small groupers (like fish, only ... men!) are also going to be helping out. And we'll get to introduce our upstairs neighbor to the neighbors up the street- both are interested in homebrewing, so it should be a pretty fun morning.

I think I just really like introducing people to other people, and the move is a good opportunity for that. That, and we're realizing how grateful we are to have friends and acquaintances who will help us out. Not that anyone could beat justice7 who I think helped us move three times back in Illinois ;) Still... I am very, very grateful to have enough help tomorrow, mostly because I feel like a total wimpazoid. It's a little humbling... which is probably good for me anyway ;)]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 13:44:06 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1075776 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1073478
She'd been putting it off, but told me that she was laid off from her job this week. She's worked at the bank for almost 40 years now, and didn't see it coming, so she's a bit upset, of course. I probably get most of my work ethic from her, so I totally understand what a shock it must have been; work was a huge part of her life. Fortunately, she and my dad both seem fairly upbeat... now.

My mom said that one of her coworkers practically had to carry her out of the room after the announcements :( I feel pretty sad about it- my mom doesn't have any hobbies, and few friends outside of work. I think her secretary was probably the closest thing she had to a best friend outside of her family. She said she felt like her family didn't want her anymore :(

Anyway, they'll be fine- her severance package is generous, and like I said, they seem upbeat. But it's definitely a shock, and I'm a little shaken. :/ We'll see how things go, I guess.]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 06:06:13 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1073478 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1071941 inf_mama and finally_fertile if you're interested).

And much like infertility itself, it's difficult to connect with those having 'normal' pregnancies on some levels. Sure, I can compare sizes and symptoms, but there are emotions and behaviors still floating around triggered by my two miscarriages and three years of waiting for this to happen.

The communities I'm excited about because in just looking at the entries, some of the other women gave voice to certain issues I'd been experiencing without even really knowing I was experiencing them. For instance:

1. One termed one of the post-infertility markers as "Mommy Guilt"- basically feeling terrible for not enjoying every single second of your pregnancy or your child. And *wham*, I was like "Oh my gosh, I do that all the time." I would get so annoyed at pregnant women complaining about their symptoms that I would take them off my friends list or simply be ticked off about it that I now feel completely hypocritical when I mention that my stomach was so painful the other day that all I could do was lie on the couch and whimper. But, doggone it, I'm not going to complain about it one bit!

And in fact, this 'mommy guilt' function was reinforced quite a bit by the ex-friend who decided to share all my business on Facebook and then publicly chastise me for calling the baby a 'parasite.' Heaven forbid I take parenting off the sacred pedestal and try to inject a little humor into the situation! :) Fortunately, I was able to move past that pretty quickly, but it's bad enough when you're doing it to yourself every day to have someone else pile a little spare bit of guilt on you ;) I'm hopeful that I will figure out some way to be immune to this when actually parenting. I'm pretty low-key in general, but I know there's going to be a point when I'm changing a diaper and will start thinking something snarky and will stop myself and say "Hey, you wanted this so much; you worked hard and prayed hard for exactly this moment, so why in the devil are you whining about changing a diaper?" Because, you know, this kid is going to poop sunshine and flowers, I'm sure.

2. The overprotection marker. This is actually something I struggled with more during my first pregnancy (that I subsequently miscarried). I watched everything I ate, avoided caffeine entirely, shunned bagged salad and deli meat (listeria) and gave soft cheese the evil eye. And when I wound up miscarrying, I went searching about for what on earth could possibly have caused it, racking my brain to come up with some medicine I forgot to take or some food I ate that caused it. Fortunately, I eventually realized that there wasn't really anything I could have done differently to avoid the miscarriage, that sometimes these things just happen.

I'm not sure why this hasn't been quite so prevalent this time around. I think early on, I was so convinced that things weren't going to work out that I just continued with life as usual- going so far as to go surfing the week after we found out we were pregnant (and succumbing to the occasional latte). That overprotectiveness hasn't shown up again yet, but again, I fear this is something that may impact my parenting. I pray that it isn't, because I don't think children who grow up with overprotective parents wind up being particularly independent and able to thrive in the real world. But I do wonder if I won't be banning my kid from surfing herself or riding on a motorcycle simply because it took three-four years to get here.

3. The overimportance marker. I'm not really sure that's a good name for it, but what I'm talking about is the tendency to... place a child at the center of one's world simply because one worked so hard for it, or because it took so long. This is something I've seen in my own life- my parents were married for 19 years before I was adopted- and I know that even though they may not have intended to, my mom certainly focused a ton of her attention on me, and while it wasn't spoken, I definitely pressured myself to be a good kid. Still do.

A long time ago, a preacher mentioned that children should know that their parents' priorities were God, their spouse, and then their children, not the other way around. It was so upside-down of what I'd experienced that it really struck me, and very much impacted my view of marriage and family. And unfortunately, because I wanted so badly to have children, I'm also afraid that I've shifted a lot in the opposite direction of that pastor's aphorism. I don't think it's healthy for children to be the entire focus of one's existence (though, admittedly during the first few years, I think it's certainly important to care for them, and care for them well!). But I don't want my kid to think the world revolves around them, and I worry that I won't be able to overcome that, too. We'll see, I guess.

4. The worry marker. This one is pretty obvious, but I think everyone who has had a miscarriage or struggled with fertility worries about their pregnancy- as mentioned in the overprotection marker above, somewhat.

I've never paid so much attention to my body's every quirk, and been so attentive to its functions. Some of it is simply out of fascination, but a lot of it is "Oh crap, does this mean another miscarriage?" A pastor at a service I was at recently referenced a miscarriage at 6 months, and it was like "Ahhh! I'm only 5!" I think until the baby is actually born, there are elements of the pregnancy that I'll find worrisome, and will continue to remind myself that it's still not guaranteed. It's good to be aware of that, and to not rest on my laurels, I guess, but sometimes I think it's a little silly- I mean, seriously, if you're staring at your toilet for five minutes trying to decide if xyz means gestational diabetes, it might be a little overkill ;)
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Some less scary aftereffects, though, I think are good and healthy and a little more encouraging.

I (eventually) learned that I'm not in control of things, and that I shouldn't try to be. Not a very fun lesson to learn. But helpful, I think, when it comes to the overprotection/worry markers ;)

I've found that I (hopefully) am a little more sensitive to those around me who may be struggling with infertility or loss, even silently- I still try not to talk too much about the pregnancy or post much about it, not knowing all the time who my audience is and what they're going through right this second. I'm definitely not perfect with it, though, so forgive me if I ever whine about my back pain or diaper changing, ok? ;)

It took me a long time, and it's still a lesson I'm learning, but I think I'm okay now saying that God still cares for me and hasn't forgotten about me. Because I wondered, a lot of the time. But in the last few months, I've seen the obvious answer to my prayers, as well as the launch of a new support group at my church that I had some small hand in, and God's hand in placing me into a new small group with another woman who's struggled with fertility issues, loss, and is due a week or so after me (among other weird similarities). Perhaps a coincidence, but certainly one tinged with Jesus to my eyes. I still wouldn't have chosen this path to spiritual growth (and wouldn't wish it on anyone)... and I wouldn't necessarily say that I've grown much spiritually- more to the point, the experience pointed out a lot of sinful areas that may have taken longer to discover otherwise (and that I'd prefer just stayed hidden, really), but... it is comforting to know that God is still at work in me and around me, too.]]> Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:03:11 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1071941 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1065972
I don't think I'm going to any Superbowl parties, unfortunately, nor do I think I'm going to get much packing done, which was my non-Superbowl plan for this afternoon. I think I'm just going to lay around and rest, and hit up the Tylenol as often as possible.
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I've been really anxious recently to get back into the Song of Ice and Fire series. I got through two of the books, and then got distracted with whatever and haven't gotten back in. Unfortunately, they're just complex enough that I feel like I should start over at the beginning. I'm currently dropped out of three series (that, the Clan of the Cave Bear series, and the Kushiel's Dart series). But out of the three, Martin's are the ones I most want to read.
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I think I need some chocolate... and to get off the Internet and just go watch some movies or something. Too bad all the interesting stuff I want to watch is on the computer instead of on the TV... I would love to lay on the couch with a heating pad and veg all day :/

Last but not least, there are some photos from us at the holiday party up on Flickr :) They're also on Facebook for those of you that are on there :) I have to say that my hair was pretty darn cute last night. Just because it never behaves that nicely for me, but yay for a good hair night :)]]> Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:06:34 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1065972 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1057148
I think we're officially moving into the new apartment Feb. 7th, which seems way overly soon. I thought we'd schedule it a little later, because we're getting new windows installed around the 16th now (instead of the 1st, as planned), but Carl scheduled cable and internet to transfer over there on the 7th. So, February 7th it is, for any of you that wanted to know. Amusingly, we're helping another friend move this weekend... so it'll be two weekends worth of moving (at least).

We're still busy three weeknights per week now; tonight's one of the two that are 'free' and I've spent most of the evening watching brainless TV and trying to recover what little sanity I have :) I called my parents and my grandma tonight, which is good; my mom had been getting worried because I wasn't responding to her (nearly daily) e-mails quickly enough, and I'd been having weird dreams about my grandma, who is sick right now :( But they all seemed good on the phone.

Now, all I have to do is find some time between now and Sunday to get to the paint store and pick out some chips for our bedroom. The other rooms can all wait, but that monster bed of ours makes it difficult to, uh, paint around ;) So, I want to try to get it painted before the 7th. And then... I need to start looking into potentially painting and/or wallpapering the kitchen and the nursery-to-be. And maybe painting the living room. I hope our landlord's okay with all my psycho nesting ;)

So, that's the skinny for now. I will try to update slightly more frequently at some point, but I'm not sure when life is going to stop being a mad whirlwind, so ... back to brainless TV with me, because all this writing is making my brain hurt :)]]> Wed, 28 Jan 2009 04:09:32 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1057148 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1047008
We signed a lease on a new apartment yesterday- 1400 square feet closer to Fremont. I'm stoked, and have totally caved in to buying design magazines and doing other nesting-y things. It's funny, there are some pregnancy stereotypes that I expected I would completely avoid because I'm determined not to do/be/say certain things. And this 'nesting' thing was on that list of "Oh, I will *never* do that." Hah. (BTW, my coolest find of the day, while investigating wallpaper was this)

We've been very busy on weeknights lately- sometimes having two or three events in a night. I think for me the craziest was when Carl and I had to swap out the car one night- I drove to and from Issaquah to pick up a Rock Band guitar for Carl's game night, got home, walked to coffee with cheesentoast, Carl drove to pick up another friend for his game night, got there in time to pick up our lease from our landlord, I drove cheesentoast home, came back to our apartment to have dinner with the guys, and then turned around to go hang out with one of the guys' wives down in Rainier Valley.

That was the busiest day... but every day feels like it's been that hyper lately. This week we had our small group get together one last time before one of the couples moves on, and then tomorrow we go to another Bible study through our church. And work has been insanely busy too. I just want some sleep, really.
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I watched the inauguration with coworkers, which was great, but I couldn't enjoy it fully- I almost passed out while sitting in a chair in the conference room. From what, who knows, but I suspect the baby may have something to do with it- sometimes when it moves, I feel a little motion sick, and I was in a lot of pain that morning anyway- the stretching on some days feels more like slowly being ripped apart right down the middle than 'stretching.'

This Sunday, we'll be heading over to Cedar Park Church again for their Presentation Sunday service, which is specific to those struggling with infertility. I was a little skeptical last year, and I'm admittedly wary of chalking things up to being miraculously healed by prayer (though I have prayed and been prayed for quite a bit this last year, including at last year's Presentation Sunday service, and have good reason not to be quite so skeptical... but I just am I guess)... but anyway, I guess it might be encouraging for others to hear how things went for me, and I don't mind sharing. I think. Large crowds tend to make me be a lot goofier and more sarcastic than I really am I think. I should probably write something down if I want to share.
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One final note... I won a free jar of Bacon Salt on Twitter today from @baconsalt. It totally made my day, but then, I'm easy to please :D And you people make fun of me for Twittering- err, tweeting. (Okay, well maybe not you guys, but some of my offline friends sure are anti-Twitter/Facebook, etc.) You could be winning Bacon Salt, too ;)]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:34:06 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1047008 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1041889
Still, when it's 50 degrees and sunny in Seattle in January, you pretty much have to get outside.

Unfortunately, I still need to finish up some chores- we stayed late at our friend's place yesterday, and so I didn't get to fold the three loads of laundry that got washed. In addition, our house looks like it was hit by a tornado. Carl got some computer parts in the mail this week, and has been steadfastly working on putting together two new computers for us... but unfortunately we've had a couple setbacks, and things are taking a little longer than expected. So there are still processors and RAM and fans strung out in our living room. Not that I can do much about that. But the kitchen needs some decluttering, and the rest of the house could use a little touching up, too. So, it's not likely to be a fun day, at least until I finish with the chores. Bah.

I also have a few blog posts I really need to write for Metblogs, Fremont Universe, and SmilePolitely. I've needed to write them since getting back from Christmas, and have been procrastinating. *sigh* I just haven't been in a very writerly mood lately, which is weird.

After I do, though, I was toying with the idea of going to the zoo or going to the outdoor mall- I'm in desperate need of a few things, due to the bodily changes... shoes for work, for one, because I've been wearing sneakers a ton... and that's just not very professional. But we'll see. Only if I can get everything else done.

And of course, the first order of the day is to watch some CSI ;) Don't worry, I'm trying to fold while I do this, so at least I'll be accomplishing something...]]> Mon, 19 Jan 2009 23:07:11 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1041889 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1035967

I keep running across stuff that I've forgotten to do or details that I've ditched along the way, and it's seriously starting to drive me crazy. Last week, I double-booked myself. And every now and then there's something at work that comes up; nothing serious yet, but I *hate* making mistakes.

For instance- on Thursday, I asked my coworkers to do something on Monday morning since I would be out Friday and Monday morning, and it was a time-sensitive thing. I typed up directions, and everything, but neither of them were able to take care of it on Monday, so I did it when I got in at noon. Only, once a quarter, I have to essentially toggle a switch to make it the right quarter. That was, of course, in the e-mailed directions. I just forgot to do it when I did it myself. *headdesk*

On the way out tonight, one of my coworkers asked me how I did in my Marketing class last quarter, and I realized... holy crap, I never even looked at my grade. I mean, I was taking it for personal enrichment and all... but how did *that* slip past me? I have no clue what I got on the final, or the group project, or for the whole class. *headdesk*

So, yeah, apparently, I do have a pregnancy symptom- my head is mush. Thankfully I'm forgetful enough generally that no one's noticed much yet, but I suspect I will forget a lunch or a coffee or respond to a post totally inappropriately here soon.


As for the double-booking, it worked out, but I had originally planned to go to the Metblogs meetup, and the new infertility group from my church tonight. I went to the latter, and I think I may be the only person in the world who can get away with (or perhaps, is foolish enough to try...) going to an infertility group in the fourth (fifth? brain is broken- what is 19 weeks anyway?) month of pregnancy. It was very good, and there were two women there who already had kids, which helped me out a lot with not feeling super-duper awkward. But... I think I'll probably be a bit intermittent, so that the group can really bond without having to watch what they say about pregnant women in front of the pregnant woman ;) Still, it's definitely a ministry that I care about and want to support, even if it's just going so I can know how to pray for these other women.
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Oh, and beyond the brain-fog, I'm totally overwhelmed. I am a little burnt out on people (guests in town, then game night, then hanging with friends, then small group, then this group...). Of course, they're all good things, and they don't stress me out when they're happening, but I must be turning into an introvert, because all of a sudden, I'm a little like "Ahhhhh! I need to recharge! No more commitments, you hear me?!?"

Plus, we're looking at different places to live, and people keep asking me questions. I think the "Have you picked a name yet?" question is going to go firmly into the pile of "So, when are you going to find a boyfriend?" and "Oh, so when are you guys having kids?" type questions that make me want to shoot people. Um, and the answer is no, no, we haven't picked out a name yet. Not even close. And by the way, pretty sure I'll share whenever we decide, or decide we feel like sharing.

Did I mention I'm hormonal? Yeaaah. Apparently that's kicked in with the brain fuzzies.

Though that question isn't as overwhelming for me as the "Have you signed up for childbirth classes?" or my favoritest "Have you looked into daycare yet?" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *

My former self also has no sympathy for me. And neither should anyone else, because I've had, like, no symptoms. I get some muscle aches from time to time. That's it. And the brain thing, which is annoying, but really, not the end of the world. My 2007 self is rolling my eyes and totally irritated by my 2009 self. Overwhelmed, hah. Right? No sympathy.

Okay, well, this entry is making absolutely no sense anymore. I know I had something else to write about, but I've completely forgotten what it was (shocking, I know). I hope all of you are well, and less overwhelmed, and haven't missed me too much ;) Just kidding. I didn't miss me either ;)

*And as for the questions, don't feel bad if you've asked me them :) Carl got all "no more pregnancy talk, she's too overwhelmed" with a couple friends the other night, which was all sweet and protective, but it's really okay if you've asked me one of these questions- I'm not seriously upset. I am hormonal, but the rational 2007 self knows that you mean well, and is still mostly in control of my brain, when it's not totally fogged over with progesterone or whatever. :)]]> Fri, 16 Jan 2009 09:46:21 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1035967 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1030193

We had the 20-week ultrasound today (though we're only 18 weeks and 4 days). This one tells you what the sex of the baby is, and though it was a little difficult for them to tell- apparently my baby is modest- it appears that we're having a girl.

And so this post isn't totally boring, here's a baby foot:

]]> Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:57:00 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1030193 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1027134
Besides, a picture's worth a thousand words anyway, right?





Caty and Cal at Ivar's



Ava and Clark get to meet :)



Everyone at Pike Place Market!


For the rest, including one of me carrying two babies, you'll have to go check out my Flickr stream :) Leave comments and notes there, too or on Facebook if you're there, they're fun to get :)]]> Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:09:11 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1027134 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1020461
We have to keep it covered so she doesn't pee on it. It's washable, but it's a real pain to take it off and get it back on, and I can't do it by myself; Carl and I can barely do it together, but with his hand all screwed up, there's no way we could do it right now. And since we have guests coming into town all weekend, we really need the futon to be okay. So, of course, I stayed up half the night worrying about that and other random windstom related noises.

Then, I've managed to double-book myself twice in the last week; once intentionally and once not. We have small group tonight, followed by swing dancing because spinninghead is in town. That was intentional, though had I known I was going to be so tired, I might have skipped one or the other. Hopefully, I'll wake up by this evening. Then yesterday, I offered to give wesa a ride to the Metblogs meetup, which is the same night as the infertility group kickoff thing; that was unintentional, and fortunately wesa was pretty understanding :)

So... after having all of that taking up my headspace, we come to tomorrow, where our two friends from Oregon and their daughter are arriving around 9 (and maybe Andrea is coming with them, too? I'm not sure). The next day, rumblebrumble and her son are coming in. There will be some house shuffling, but only three of the six involved are staying with us (again, thanks to some very kind and understanding friends). And I still was hoping to clean a bit before they got in tomorrow night. But... it may be a bit much if I'm still this tired tomorrow, and I may have to nap before their arrival instead. We'll see.

I'm just hoping somewhere in here, I get enough sleep to be well-rested and not crabby (because I'm a little crabby today), and can do all the fun stuff I want to do this weekend with my friends without, like, conking out with my head in a plate of pasta or something ;)

I am so thankful for coffee right now, and I may be booking the health room at work to take a nap this afternoon. We'll see how things go- keep your fingers crossed (and let's hope the wind lets up tonight so I'm not freaking out all night tonight again).]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:05:26 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1020461 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1020460
The Washington State Department of Transportation says there are no north-south routes open from Portland to Seattle; additionally the three mountain passes over the Cascades (including I-90) are closed. Basically we're cut off from the rest of the U.S. right now. Though I-5 north to Canada is open ;)

So we may be short four guests this weekend, which sucks. :( I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the rain lets up and things start to dry up; it's supposed to by Saturday, so maybe my friends can still come then. Though, last year, when that area flooded, I-5 was closed for four days. What crappy luck, huh?

The weather here is just ridiculously awful in its ability to just completely shut things down. Obviously things are going okay in the city for the most part, but it definitely makes me feel claustrophobic to know that I basically can't get out of Seattle. It's strange that this makes me feel more claustrophobic than a snowstorm, but sure enough. Weird.]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:05:26 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1020460 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1016353
I have two articles/posts for blogs that I write for that I've been meaning to write for weeks now. They're languishing, because my heart's not in it right this second. I don't know whether it's lack of motivation or lack of energy or some combination of the two, but I'm feeling exceptionally listless. I am going to go read a book for a little while and see if that helps shake me out of this mood.]]> Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:26:08 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1016353 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1014923 rumblebrumble is coming to visit this weekend, and wants to have coffee... and lots of it. So, I'm polling the Seattleites for best coffee spots.

On my short list already are:

Zoka in Tanglewood (which she's already been to)
Zeitgeist in Pioneer Square
Victrola on Cap Hill (where is it now, by the way? I know the one at Cal Anderson closed?)
Bauhaus on Cap Hill- you have to go at least once, right? (And can I just say, they're so hip they don't even need a web site...)
Diablo in Queen Anne
Caffe Fiore? (Which one of the three is best??)
Cafe Ladro (Fremont, or is there another one I should be looking at?)

Am I missing any obvious ones?]]> Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:55:25 -0800 http://virb.com/jadeejf/posts/text/1014923