About

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet begun to live.

(I did not write the above, it was a college admission essay written by a hopeful NYU student (he was accepted) but hot dang if it doesn't inexplicably describe me to a "T". :)

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Life explained Jun 9

This is Zen like wisdom here. Great little story I came across, thought I'd share.Life: Explained A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. ...

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My Groove

Movies

Shawshank Redemption, E.T., Good Will Hunting, Ghostbusters, Goundhog Day, Finding Neverland, Once, Braveheart, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Juno, 3:10 to Yuma, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, The Prestige, The Fountain, The Abyss, Indiana Jones Trilogy, The Matrix, The Last Samurai, The Princess Bride, Before Sunset, Return to Me, The Burbs, Spartacus, Star Wars, Shanghai Knights, Dumb and Dumber, Anchorman, Casablanca, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Frequency, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Fugitive, Iron Giant, A Knights Tale,

Music

The Beatles, The Living End, The Format, Muse, Radiohead, Lifehouse, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Snow Patrol, What Made Milwaukee Famous, The Kooks, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Secondhand Serenade, The Fratellis, Band of Horses, Jack Johnson, Better Than Ezra, Soular, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Ben Folds, Matchbox Twenty, M. Ward, Vega 4, Ray LaMontagne, OK GO, Killers, Jimmy Eat World, Augustana, Ghostland Observatory, Weezer, Daft Punk, John Williams, Led Zeppelin, Live, Metalica, AC/CD, Jet, Spoon, Johnny Cash

Television

LOST, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar, The Wire, The Office, Deadwood

Books

Catch in the Rye, Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, Chronicles of Narnia, Gilead, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Posthumous Memoirs of Bras Cubas, Lord of the Rings, The Lovely Bones, Red Badge of Courage, Frankenstein, Jane Eyre, Pride and Predjudice, The Blinding Absense of Light, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, My Name Is Asher Lev, Treasure Island, Moby Dick