(For those who don't know, I started back at college on Monday after 11 years away, 3 days after my 30th birthday.)

Things I have now that I didn't have when I went to college the first time:

• A car.


• A computer.


• A girlfriend.


• Lots of close friends.


• My own place to live.


• Something resembling a work ethic.


• An occasional respect for authority. (Occasional.)


• Eleven years of additional life experience.


• Eleven years of additional work experience.


• Around one hundred pounds of additional fat.


• A clue.


• A major.


• Soul-crippling cynicism.

Things I had then that I don't have now:

• A debilitating need to be liked.


• A pony tail.