Blah. I think the four letters that comprise of this monosyllabic word, best describes our generation. I think on how many times I ask people I know how they are and their response is portrayed in the following phrases..."i don't know" "meh" "alright" "ok" "blah" "fine i guess" "i've had better days...weeks...months...years..." That is our generation. A group of young people that have become so bitter and so apathetic that even our language has now embraced this dialogue of lethargy. We just don't care anymore. We don't know how to express anything anymore. We are too angry to know what or who to yell at so we yell at everything and everyone. We are too heartbroken to even know where to pick up the pieces, so we let our hearts remain shattered. And we are way too fucking lazy to even care anymore about trying to figure it all out. We don't care about anything. If we really did the world would already be starting to turn around. Now I realize that this is a grossly generalized statement, and it does nothing to validate the small handful of young people actually trying to make a change. But in the grand scheme of broad strokes...this is still fairly accurate. We would much rather live our lives in apathy coasting through the rest of existence, content to blame everything on our predecessors.

Now, we're all quite aware of my thoughts on the present dominant era, and some of it's perpetrators...but honestly, there are not very many people in my own train of thought that are doing anything different than the previous generation. We are a bunch of lazy bastards. Just like all those before us. I'll be very clear too...I am the greatest offender of non-positive living. Example. Today I just completed my first day of full-time work as a receptionist for a department of the state of Oregon. One day. And I already don't want to go back. It's not that the job is particularly hard...the environment is not stressful...the people are actually very pleasant to share company with. The simple fact is that I don't like it. It doesn't make me happy. So rather than actually be serious and embrace the fact that I need full-time work to pay for bills, I would much rather be lazy, thus continuing to further my already unfavorable living and financial conditions. Just because I don't like it.

And that seems to be the dominant thought with young people today. I don't like, so I'm just going to ignore it. It doesn't make me happy or feel good, so I'm not going to do anything about it. If a particular idea, environment, person, or place just doesn't appeal to our liking, our personal preference, or actual causes us physical, mental, or emotional discomfort, we simply walk away from it or them. Or our generation focuses on the alternative...I'm just going to direct my attention to what does make me happy. Which generally tends to be...shallow love...more shallow love...drunkenness followed by shallow sex...some more shallow love...write stupid emo song about shallow love, drunkenness and shallow sex...and some how this is just going to fix everything.

The problem is that it doesn't. It doesn't fix anything at all. It just allows the same horrible wretched life that we all want to rebel so strongly against to continue growing into this vile beast that is eventually going to overtake our hearts and souls and turn us into the very thing that we despise. An oppressive, hate-filled, close-minded, empty system of thought and lifestyle. Here is why...if we continue to allow ourselves the luxury of just sitting by and watching the world go to hell in a hand basket...or a McDonald's bag...or a Starbucks coffee cup...or a political party...or a another bottle of beer...or another trip...or another sexual encounter...whatever the method of travel...but if we continue to just to sit on our asses, eventually a new breed of young people is going to rise up and rail against our worldview. And that is going to threaten our personal pleasure and thus we will have to crush it with tyrannical language and actions, hence making us just like the era and worldview we all hate so much. Can you see? Can you see the impending doom that is lurking just around the corner of our short lives? If we don't start giving a damn we are going to be damned.

Do you want to know why something like George Orwell's novel "1984" is actually feasible? It is not because a certain political party or religious movement just decided to take control. It is because the society as a whole refused to care. So somebody cared for them and decided to that their worldview was good enough for everyone. And if you don't agree, prepare to be "vanished". Nobody was willing to actually give a shit, so a particular group of people, who were actually motivated, saw their opportunity and took it. Now this is a bit extreme, but still probable if we continue to live in this la-la land of ignorant, utopian apathy. We either do not care enough to direct our anger and hurt towards positive means of change or we don't care enough to give up our pathetic selfish forms of ignoring the current state of decay.

And we all do it. Like it or not. The issue becomes learning how to channel our hurt and anger and learning how to selflessly release our own personal well-being for the sake of humanity. This is not easy. Trust me. Cause I'm right in the middle of it. And then we have the dilemma of trying to discern when we are sacrificing for humanity's prosperity and when we are just succumbing to the system. There is a fine line between the two and unfortunately it is very blurred. But it still is very clear that the majority of us are willing to sit on the side of apathy. And so I close with this personal example of my life...

I know that I don't like working, I would much rather spend my day sitting in a coffee shop or bar talking to people, drinking beverages, reading books, watching movies...all in all, just enjoying my youthfulness and life. And I wouldn't mind seeing an endless flow of resources needed to enjoy those luxuries. But the reality is this. That lifestyle is not conducive to choices I've made in my life. If I were to allow myself the personal pleasure of living that way, I would greatly offend and actually hurt (emotionally, financially, and even possible physically) people that I care and love, and that care and love me. Some of these people I disagree with greatly in areas of life, but in the end, if I were to simply just ignore the fact that they have sacrificed greatly for me, it would devastate them...and in fact turn me more into the type of person I so strongly rebel against. Which means that tomorrow, I will wake up early, get dressed and go work 8-5 so I can begin to learn some more about life.

The art of balancing rebellion and love is not easy. It is difficult and messy. And if the movement that we all so strongly want to be a part of is unconditional love, we need to learn to lovingly rebel...and that means learning to direct our anger, heal our hurts, leave behind our apathy, and actually start loving.

much love.