I am the stereotypical male when it comes to "chick-flicks" or "romantic comedies" or "fairy tale" films. I would much rather sit through two hours of intense vampire gore or zombie mortification than watch two individuals fall hopelessly in love and end up skipping through their lives in a magical utopia of romance that no element mankind may ever dream of could destroy! And there is a very simple reason for this...and no it is not because I'm a boy, therefore reducing my mind to nothing more than a sexual fantasy, meat-pondering, beer-craving, sports-loving, violence-seeking void of fleshly matter. It is actually because I am in reality a hopeless romantic. There I said it...I enjoy romantic movies...deep down in the depths of my heart, I enjoy watching the boy and girl encounter the initial tension of denying their feelings for each other. I blush and feel embarrassed when the lead male, first makes a fool of himself in an attempt to win the affection of his lover. I become jealous watching them gently kiss for the first moment, as the symphony soundtrack climaxes behind them and the planets align...and dear god look at me. I long and crave for these feelings....these experiences. With every part of me I long to loving allow my lips to tenderly meet those of my desire. I crave the nightly encounters of two bodies entangled with each other on a small couch watching the rainfall on the outside ground. I'm yearning for it. And this has made me hate it all in the same moment.

Any of you still reading this, after that incredibly traumatizing look into my pathetic romantic ideals, are probably wondering how the hell this has anything to do with some sort of revolutionary writing about overthrowing a system and embracing humanity, blah, blah, blah. It actually has everything to with it. And if we people would stop and think about it, they would realize how significant this conversation is to our battle. It is simply a matter of perspective and priorities. The reality is that our generation's priority is currently all about apathy. Which means the priority is all about selfish, self-gratifying experience. Which means we all desire the fairy tale. We all want so desperately to be the prince or princess in an epic novel of true love that lives on through the ages and ends happily. Do you really know why everyone really loves fairy tales? Because they are selfish. It is all about self-gratification. And that is appealing to us, because it helps satisfy the selfish nature of our apathy. That is why we are so addicted to shallow love and shallow sex. Because it satisfies our individual desires.

Think about it. In a fairy tale, the characters do not love each other because of unconditional love. They love their significant other because of the way that person makes them feel. They promise to unconditionally love the other, because they have given them freedom, or wings to fly, or whatever stupid cliché line you want to insert into the dialogue. Fairy tales are not about the betterment of the other person. Fairy tales are about getting your own needs met and thus deciding to love in return. And in the end, it is down right self-serving.

But our generation only thinks about serving themselves. So fairy tales are popular. We love "love". We idolize "romance". We rapidly embrace stupid, shallow relationships, because they are meeting the desires we all crave so badly. And not just physical. I mean, it's no lie there are plenty of people who simply fuck for the sake of fucking. But I think the majority of people are really head-over-heels, for being smitten for someone or "in looooovvveee!!!!"

How does any of this apply to what we've been talking about? Simple. IT'S DISTRACTION! It is another way of us fueling our apathy and lack of desire to fight for a better way of life. Because we become so wrapped up in attempting to follow the lines of the romance novel of our lives, we end up completely ignoring the world around us. This is how it works. We are either wrapped up in trying to find our romantic soul mate, lover, boyfriend/girlfriend...OR...we are wrapped up in trying to keep that significant other and making every effort to sustain that same romantic notion of fairy tales! Keep that flame burning! And it's all about us. But if we were to really be honest, fairy tales are really one big lie. Seriously people...it's right there in the name...F.A.R.I.Y. tale!!!! Definition of fairy tale...imaginary...fake...not real...dream. Boil down some of the occurrences in a fairy tale. People live forever. People are suddenly nice to each other all the time. People dance and sing at random and pointless moments. Now...in reality...people don't live forever. People are not just going to magically decide to be nice and happy because your true love suddenly appeared. NOBODY IS GOING TO BREAK INTO A FUCKING CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE AND HARMONIZED TUNE OF GLEEFUL BLISS!!!

The reality is fairy tale love is a farce that is crippling the ability for our generation to think logically and rationally about moving forward to change the world. Be honest. Think about this. When someone is single, they start making all these glorious plans about life and adventure. They begin to formulate ideals about how to actually live intentionally and experience a full and abundant life. Where they want to go, what they want to see, who they want to help, etc. BUT THEN....then comes along that gorgeous, incredible eyes, amazing hair, the-smile-that-just-makes-their-heart-skip, when-they-touch-them-goosebumps-break-out, person, who just makes their world spin. What happens??? 90% of the time those plans get tossed right out the window in front of a moving bus. Now granted new plans are made but for the most part it all revolves around how that person makes you feel. The reality is that a good part of the time, the ideals and convictions we have are sacrificed at the altar of maintaining those romantic feelings. Which is why relationships turn into, as I like to say, relationshits! I was reading a book and the author's very first chapter was about the fascination with romance movies and literature, and how in the real world, he has not met one couple who has a connection like those portrayed in the movies. Think about it. If you were really honest...do you know of anyone that actually really lives in that Neverland of harmonious love? One couple where everything seems to line up, all the doors open at the right time, the right song always comes on the radio, people may actually break into dance and song? I can't think of any. I can honestly say that any couple you point out in my life, I can point out some problem with it.

Now all of this is not to say that romantic relationships do not work. I think they can. I really do. I mean I've watched my parents spend over 25 years together. Same parents and never even a hint of infidelity between the two of them. Talk about an amazing and note-worthy accomplishment. But I don't believe that either of them would say it has been easy. It hasn't just been fairy tales and flowery fields. There have been amazing moments and beautiful, romantic happenings in their marriage and during their courtship (I'm making assumptions on the dating, since I was not even around then...and even if I was, I don't think I would be able to recall it!). But it has not just been that all the time! I think that is one of two keys about why relationships may have a chance at surviving. First of all...we cannot delude ourselves into thinking that when we find someone who makes us happy that everything is just going to be puppies and bubbles! Which actually ties into the next way that a loving relationship may actually work. Remembering that it is not about us! It is about loving the other person...not for anyway that they first initially make us feel. Love is about sacrifice. Love is about servanthood. Love is about giving...not receiving! If that is true, romantic fairy tale love is simply...well...a fairy tale!

Please understand, I'm not trying to knock "being in love" or relationships. I admit there is probably a bit of jealousy in watching two people fall for each other and do all the stupidly-sick romantic things, stupidly-sick romantic people do! But more than that...there is a lot of regret in looking back in my life and realize how many of my relationships were really just selfish. It was all about how I felt...and then maintaining that feeling. Now there are also factors as to why my relationships always seem to fall apart...but I think those revolve around deeper more significant struggles in my heart and soul than romantic love. I think in the end it is ok to be in love. But not for the sake of being in love. Not just because someone makes you giddy and smile. If that were the case you would be falling in love with a lot of people or married when you were still in kindergarten and that cute-little, tiny-tot shared their animal crackers with you!

We need to start falling in love with true love. Love that sacrifices all for the sake of the other...and not to achieve some sort of magical heart-skipping feeling. We need to start embracing that kind of love. And that is hard. I know it is. Trust me. Just ask some of the kids in downtown Grand Rapids about how quickly I would be talking about my new crush of the week! I've been painfully learning that until I can embrace loving people for who they are and not how they make me feel, that I may never actually truly love.

For those of you who are in love. Best of luck!

For those of you searching for true love. May you find it!

For those of you got in wanting to live in a fairytale. Start reading grown-up books...the world is passing you by!

much love.