Yeah, it's been awhile. I feel like I might start trying to post blogs on a more frequent basis again. I just need something to put words on to.

There's someone who I love very much and she's the best person out there for me. I feel though that I have not been doing my best in the relationship we have. There's something that's just... Not right. I think I know what it is. To make myself push forward in a positive manner, that's the struggle.

It's funny, man and flesh are so stupid. We can know what's right and good for us, yet we can completely ignore and give in to what's available. What about waiting for the ultimate prize instead? No, immediate satisfaction seems to be more of an importance. Even then, the immediate satisfaction is not good enough. The flesh just wants more. More. MORE.

Our world is always trying to consume our life. There's so many things to do, so many places to go. More and more things seem to become mandatory, something that we can't avoid doing. Then we have our loved ones in between all of that to fill in the gaps. Isn't that the point though? To produce and provide so that we can then spend the time we should with the ones we love? Well yes, depending on priority. Spending time with our loved ones and growing is very important and should always be held as a high priority in our life. But there's one other thing, one other person I need to dedicate time to. The sad thing is, I haven't given that person the time He deserves. Why? Because I'm the person that has been consumed with the "mandatory" to do list and have been filling the gaps with loved ones.

I want to turn my spiritual life around and I want to head in the right direction again. I don't want to backslide or remain stagnant. I want to move forward with Him guiding me.

I want what they have, and I will have what they have. I want whatever is good, pure, and of good report. No more compromising, no more settling. I want what is Holy and good. God give me strength.

~Jeremiah~