jenni sea monster on Virb

Matt Hoffman, Jan 20, 2009:

hey thanks for recommending leave, i enjoyed it. i reccommend flume by bon iver off of for emma forever ago.

shaula charlotte-evelyn, Dec 11, 2008:

thank you very much. its appreciated,

jennibean, Sep 7, 2008:

my i heart you cut off =(

A Rainy Day Cliche, Sep 7, 2008:

i hate to see you like this. You deserve so much happiness. Not this pain, not the Jenni Sea I know. Come down to louisville and will all go pick pumpkins!

jennibean, Sep 7, 2008:

i am so confused! how does she not know you know?
perhaps you should talk to her... maybe this " avoiding" is really just because she doesn't know what to say. i don't even know what she knows. did rach tell her everything or something? i know janie adores and loves you very much. it could be just because she has been so busy lately. i thought the worst when she didn't respond to me. maybe it's the same case with you, and the vulnerability makes it seem a lot worse than it actually is.

how are you holding up? i thought things were on the better track, but i just read your most recent updates from this weekend. no crying! no hurting! and most certainly no dying!
i know... it's hard not to feel that way =(
jon was off with me all weekend and we did not stop all weekend long. we were seriously doing something nonstop. it's upsetting now because the weekend is over, we both have to go to work, and now i'll be left with nothing but horrible, miserable thoughts that just won't leave.
the anxiety is killing me, and i can't take anything because of the pregnancy.
but i'm holding up and trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

is there anything i can do?
are you and jake not doing any better?
i remember you saying something about him looking up relationship advice.
sweetie, we both know how big of a step that is for him. he LOVES you and WANTS this to work out.
this pain seems to linger, but i'm certain everyone will come out so much stronger.

i've even thought about seriously getting some help to cope with the abortion. i never went to employee health the night i said i was going to. i got halfway there and turned back.
but i'm getting there.
and i'm hoping you are, too.
i know it's hard because i'm the one that screwed everything up, but if there is ANYTHING i can do to patch things up and get things enlightened, don't hesitate to tell or ask me.
i'm by your side for all of this.
i

jennibean, Sep 2, 2008:

i won't say anything to janie. i was under the impression that she knew everything was going on, and i just wanted to apologize for putting her in a situation like that once again. if she doesn't know, then it may be best to keep it that way. everyone has so much stress right now... no need to bring another person into it, you know? so i promise not to mention a word.

jennibean, Aug 30, 2008:

and it just clicked that i need to be nice to him or none of this is going to get any better... meaning i won't be able to stop feeling guilty. i sent him a text saying i was sorry, wanted to be friends, and am trying to make things right again for everyone. he'll probably reject it or say something mean back, but at least i can try and get past the guilt. i want so badly for this to be resolved, and i think being nice and nonagressive is a great step in that direction

jennibean, Aug 30, 2008:

i didn't even think of this. i've had this virb forever and only had jon as a friend. such a better way to communicate without everyone seeing it. people keep asking me (even a coworker of jon's asked) what's going on, but i don't feel they should know.
i cannot stop crying and feeling bad over this. last night with jake's hateful msgs, it just made it worse. was it a mistake for you to find out? i can't help but think no one would be going through this if i had just kept my mouth shut. but i didn't want you finding out later down the road from someone else. i'm so torn. i feel like i have completely ruined everything. I'M the idiot.