You know what? My prayer life sucks.

The fact is that it's sucked for a long time. I just didn't realize it until recently.

I've tried many things to liven it up, but none of those things has worked, at least not for any length of time. I've tried going to prayer meetings at church, but that usually ends with me falling asleep, or worse, sitting in the back twiddling my thumbs wondering why I came in the first place. I've tried "praying in tongues." But, sometimes I just feel like I'm making up sounds so that I can talk to God. I've tried praying early in the morning before I start my day, but I usually don't think that clearly that early, and find that I really don't have anything to say, yet. I've tried praying before I go to bed, but again, I'm tired and not very coherent, and usually fall asleep half way through the prayer. Sometimes, I even fall asleep before I pray!

The biggest problem I have is simply that my prayers have been flat, selfish, and theologically weak. They have become "vain repetitions." I find myself praying the same basic prayer and simply plugging in today's information. My prayers lack meaning and passion. In the words of Keith Green:

My eyes are dry,

my faith is old,

my heart is hard,

my prayers are cold.

And I know how I ought to be,

alive to You and dead to me.

My prayers are cold! What has happened to me? I know how things ought to be...

Can anyone out there identify?

(The title of this post is an Anglican Church motto meaning, "as we pray, so we believe.")