How does one deal with the problems of this life? How do we deal with the mistakes of the past that will not go away? I like to call them ghosts. Ghost are looked at as being figments of the imagination that we see with our natural eye. However, there are also ghost that come from our past that we have pushed out of the way or pressed down so far that they destroy our present rather than staying in the past. So, has this week been for me. I have held myself hostage so long that now that I have been writing about freeing oneself, that I am becoming free. It seems to me however, that all hell has broken lose and something is out to get me. That is not the problem or issue, the issue is that through my writing I have unlocked the things I needed to place myself finally in the realm I need to be in. This year for me has been all about breaking cycles, now I maybe breaking the biggest cycle of my life, and I hope that through my words someone can find freedom for and from themselves.

The trial is not being able to dell with trouble when all is good, but the trail is being able to keep your head up when all is telling you to go and hide. In the past I have crawled under the sheets wishing my problems away. By no means has it worked. Many of us, like myself, focus on the problem rather than focusing on what the problem is standing on. The problem is not the problem, the problem is the hostage holding you have held yourself in. I have held myself hostage for almost 12 years, and for the past 6 years I have been lost to my dreams. I have been lost to the childhood felling of, I can do anything, I have no limits. I have locked myself up for so long that I have lost the key.

But as Obama says "Change we can believe in," you must believe in the change that is in you, you must believe in the desire to come out to the situation you are in. You and I must learn to face the problem, which is in the mirror. We must learn to become the change we need to be. We must learn to become the positive words we lack, we must learn to become the love that we need rather than looking for it in someone else. I for the first time in my life and my marriage I am able to say that I have not been the person I need, my wife needs, and our future child needs.

Moreover, the key is not to focus on what I have not been, the key is to focus on what I need to become. Most important, in order to become the person I need to be, I must free myself from me, and take back my life, take back my dreams, take back my mind, and take back all that God has in store form me. And No, the devil has not stolen them from me, I took them from myself. Now I must stand up to the ideals that were spoken over me by teachers, governments, and people that were to dumb to understand the desire of God in their lives and mine.

When a warrior is under attack a warrior does not run or fight a losing battle. A warrior figures a way to either survive the enemy or beat the enemy all together. The enemy is not some person across the ocean or next door. the enemy is shown to you when you force yourself to get and go to a job you hate. That enemy is worse than anyone that will ever come before you. Freedom is a right deserved by all, chosen by none, but taken by those who refuse to give in to the desires of an already imprisoned flesh. Be the great emancipator that history says Lincoln was, be the great dreamer King was, be the by any means Malcolm was, but above all be the dreams you desire to see in the world. Peace and love.