"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
James 4:6

It's very hard to put raw emotions into words. I've tried to do it for a while now, as I've tried to tell my girlfriend at the time (now fiance!) how I felt for her. My first song for her, actually, is called "Not Saying a Thing." It's all about how I can't possibly describe how I feel. You should check it out at myspace.com/johnblythemusic or purevolume.com/johnblythe. Ok, I'm rambling with a shameless plug. What I was getting at was that I've tried to put raw affections into words before, in the form of song, and it's really hard. But it's much easier than putting them into a non-prose type of writing style, I think. The reason is simply that the music, or the meter of the poem, the ambiguity of cliches and metaphors, and a whole slew of other tools are at the disposal of the poet/songwriter. So I pray that the following words still find a place in your heart and soul, despite my failure to truly place my heart into the form of mere words.

I am so prideful. Utterly arrogant. Unabashedly self-centered. And seemingly consumed with myself to an almost infinite degree. I'd say (and hope! =) ), that most people who know me well would quickly raise objections to that statement. I serve in ministry at a local church, run my best friend around town all the time (he can't drive for several months because of a seizure back in October), go downtown regularly to feed the homeless, blah blah blah. I'm a "good guy." I do some good stuff here and there. I do some things that seem to be selfless. We all know people who truly think that their stuff don't stink. They strut and flaunt and masquerade. It's nauseating to most people. I'm not that guy. Yet I make myself sound like it at the beginning of this paragraph. Why?

Because I'm tired of relating myself to those around me. I'm fed up with setting the bar so low. My doing that is, in itself, another act of pride. Deep down, my conscious knows that the standard is higher than John Doe and his actions. The standard in the universe is Christ, no one else. So, I have the proclivity to gauge myself by the actions and attitudes of others. It might make me look like a great guy. But I'm not. Cause the litmus test of the universe is Jesus. And I can't pass that test.

Unless....

Unless I'm humble. If I'm humble, I get grace. And what are we saved by? By grace. So, the only way to pass the test [be saved] is by grace, which is a result of humility. But we are so prone to pride. It is the root of all sins. Many great theologians have attested to it being at the root of every other sin.

I am proud of what I have. Yet everything belongs to the Lord: "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein..." Psalms 24:1. He owns the earth, he owns everything in it, including the people living on it---you and me. Even more massive, "Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it." Deuteronomy 10:14. Again, at the end, all of the earth and everything in/on it belongs to God, but so does the far reaches of the universe; every galaxy, every nebula, every star, every blackhole, every planet, and everything we've yet to even discover or imagine, plus the invisible, divine, spiritual "heaven of heavens." He owns everything.

I am proud of what I do. But that's only because I forget that my "righteousness is as filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6), and that "whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it." (James 2:10) And since, if I break just one of the laws I'm breaking them all, I find out that I'm cursed: 'For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.'" (Galatians 3:10) I am cursed, and have no hope but eternal damnation.

I am proud of my knowledge and wisdom. But, I quickly find that my knowledge and my wisdom is exhausted quite quickly. But not the Lord's. "Oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!" (Romans 11:33) And again, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) I am lucky to keep my day straightened out and make good decisions in the midst of it all. Yet God knows every single thing going on in the entire universe. Think of the implications of that. Every macro level thing: the earth's rotational speed around the sun, the dying star light years away from us, the tornadoes that devastate an area, etc. And then there is the microscopic level of things: He knows every atom flying around in the steam created from an espresso machine, every electron and proton that make up your hair follicles, and the quarks that build all of those things. Furthermore, he knows when one of those things changes slightly, which causes a billion times a billion chain reactions, and each of those causes another trillion reactions in the universe. He keeps up with ALL of that! And even knows about it before hand!

I am proud of how much I love my family, friends, fiance, and even those around me. But Jesus said that "greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends." (John 15:13). I've not done that.

This is getting pretty long. So I'll stop with my list of flaws. The point is that Christ did lay his life down for his friends, and I'm one of them. He is the richest Being in the universe. And not only because he owns everything, but even if nothing existed, he himself is the most precious and valuable thing in the universe; so he is infinitely rich in that regard too. But so am I since I have Christ and I am an heir to the promises of God (Galatians 4). And even though my righteousness will never add up, he bore my penalty on the cross for my sins and faults, but also gave me his very own righteousness, that I might be "the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus." (2 Corinthians 5:21) And now I have the Holy Spirit who will "teach [me] all things" (John 14:26) concerning Christ, who is the "wisdom of God" (1 Corinthians 1:24).

All that to say, I have no reason to boast, "except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Galatians 6:14). And may that be all that I boast in. If so, then I'll continue receiving grace, which I need and I long for. So, I hope you'll join me in prayer for yourself, for me, for other believers, and for those who the Lord will call to himself soon, that we would learn to be humble like Jesus (see Philippians 2), that we may receive the grace of God from and in Jesus.

Amen.