I don't think I really do a lot. Perhaps I even feel like I should be doing more, but I don't know if I can really handle what I'm doing, or maybe I just suck at managing my time. I just get stressed about about everything. I've got a credit card backed up and I'm trying to get jobs done, but they're pilling up. It's kinda overwhelming.

I'm just really moody lately tho! I get focussed on relationships and get kinda depressed about it almost every other night. It's weird. It's good for writing tunes and all, but it sucks! I need to change my thinking or something... am I thinking negatively, not trusting God enough? Not believing]]> Wed, 03 Sep 2008 02:07:41 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/804213 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/790144 I can't complain. I went to Wonderland for a day, then spent a week at my trailer alone, returning to find life just as I left it. Busy, exciting, and challenging.

Image 1 Liz decided it'd be fun to jam in Harmony Square!
Image 2 Wedding Reception
Image 3 Walking the streets killing time... Made a new friend.

That's the plan. I don't know quite what to expect, but I'm going to make the most of it. It's kind of a strange thing. I wanted to do something out of the ordinary. Something I wouldn't naturally want to do... and now I'm kinda looking forward to it.

I'm leaving the cell turned off (mainly cuz I have to go to the edge of the lake to use it anyway) but more because I want to be alone. I want to use this time to be re-introduced to the God I say I know. Right now, I don't think I know this God as I've said I do... and I want to change that.

After China... I've been challenged by the lives of those who have nothing. I plan to do a lot more thinking this week and search myself and the way I live.

God, search me... bring the stuff in my life to the surface. Give me new dreams, new courage, and new plans to take action to when I get back. That's what I'm asking. It's not much - and you're bigger than that. So I'm expecting more. That's all.

]]> Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:43:32 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/772914 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/756208 Again I went with my dad on one of his business trips. I enjoy the time everytime I get to go. Sometimes it's exhasting, and I find myself not quite missing home, but perhaps tired of the abnormal. Just wanting something I know. Food, or Scenery or whatever it is. But then I wake up and realize the experience around me. The adventure that's right infront of me, waiting for me to step out of my comfort and discover the world!

I'm in China right now. Shanghai - the big city. I called home today. That's important to me, but I'm starting to consider the possibility of traveling more. Probably on my own. I'm going to try and learn Mandarin and maybe live in Asia for a bit. Something to dream about I guess. Scary thought, but exciting at the same time.

The question remains....... Can I leave it all, and trust fully...not in myself.

]]> Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:15:55 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/756208 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702474 Wow, I'm so frustrated... why do I bother with you?

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:07 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702474 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702473 How is it that some people can't see the importance of a God-centered relationship. Like, what else could possibly be more important? looks, personality, hobbies, lifestyle, friends, money... it all fades away.

The one thing I want in her? A heart after God and a passion for what God has for er.

No one else understands Your passion; Nobody else cares about Your passion like you do. ~P.d

The most important thing in life is to have a goal (preferably that goal would be to be like Christ and be in relationship with God). Keep your eyes on the prize and don't look back. Put your past behind you. Where ever you stand right now - go for that goal with all you have. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't reach that goal.

I'm not perfect - YET, but perfection is the goal. // Philippians 3:12

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:07 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702473 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702472 Here's our complex. The world tells us that we need relationships like we need bread and water. TV, Hollywood, our friends, our parents - tell us we're incomplete without that special someone in our lives. Then we spend ever waking minute planning, dreaming, desiring that relationship that will complete us.

Let me ask you something. If that special someone is looking for the very same thing, aren't you both lacking the very same thing? So how can either person satisfy the need of the other?

Do you know why you're here? Are you happy with who you are in your singleness? Do you feel complete? You should!

God made Adam, and gave him lots to do. He was a busy man, with purpose and a relationship with God. Adam went along from day to day doing his thing, appreciating what he had. Then God looked around and said, "I know what you need Adam, and I've got just the thing. Wait here!". Then Adam got a bit tired, and had a nap....

Adam didn't even see his need for another relationship because he was content with who he was, and with his relationship with God. He was also really busy naming all the animals - to busy for dating... But God knew what he needed, and he provided Adam with a wife. The first marriage relationship ever made.

References to Genesis

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:07 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702472 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702471 Wow, I'm so frustrated... why do I bother with you?

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:06 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702471 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702470 I remember telling you it would happen. You took my words the wrong way and disregarded their reality as nonsense. What you didn't know is that I'd been in your place. The truth is, I liked you a lot, but deep down further, I truly cared for you and your future. I wanted to save you from this hurt. You didn't listen to me.

Now I'm fighting myself. Part of me still wants to forgive and forget. It's who I am. I've always been one to just forget and move on, disregarding all that's gone on. Another part of me wants to be hurt and move on. You made your choice, you left me behind. Although at first I held on, now I'm almost ready to move on. The wasted time seems less and less important now, yet I still haven't let go.

Why do I care about you? I don't know. I just do. It's not an attachment, it's not creepy, it's genuine.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:06 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702470 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702469 How is it that some people can't see the importance of a God-centered relationship. Like, what else could possibly be more important? looks, personality, hobbies, lifestyle, friends, money... it all fades away.

The one thing I want in her? A heart after God and a passion for what God has for er.

No one else understands Your passion; Nobody else cares about Your passion like you do. ~P.d

The most important thing in life is to have a goal (preferably that goal would be to be like Christ and be in relationship with God). Keep your eyes on the prize and don't look back. Put your past behind you. Where ever you stand right now - go for that goal with all you have. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't reach that goal.

I'm not perfect - YET, but perfection is the goal. // Philippians 3:12

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:06 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702469 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702468 God, I think I've forgotten what it is to have relationship.

I just realized how caught up I get in this stuff... school, designing...church. All my time goes down the drain before I say one word to you. I'm writing you this letter to apologize. I'll give you a few minutes now before I go to sleep. I should spend more time... maybe tell you about my day, but it went by so fast. Anyway, you were there...

What if this is all ...nothing. What if it's all a waste of time. Then all that matters is if you know my name. In the end, how many hungry people did I feed as if I was feeding you? How many times did I stop to talk to someone, or even give them a second glance? I need to try harder.

Goodnight.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:06 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702468 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702467 Here's our complex. The world tells us that we need relationships like we need bread and water. TV, Hollywood, our friends, our parents - tell us we're incomplete without that special someone in our lives. Then we spend ever waking minute planning, dreaming, desiring that relationship that will complete us.

Let me ask you something. If that special someone is looking for the very same thing, aren't you both lacking the very same thing? So how can either person satisfy the need of the other?

Do you know why you're here? Are you happy with who you are in your singleness? Do you feel complete? You should!

God made Adam, and gave him lots to do. He was a busy man, with purpose and a relationship with God. Adam went along from day to day doing his thing, appreciating what he had. Then God looked around and said, "I know what you need Adam, and I've got just the thing. Wait here!". Then Adam got a bit tired, and had a nap....

Adam didn't even see his need for another relationship because he was content with who he was, and with his relationship with God. He was also really busy naming all the animals - to busy for dating... But God knew what he needed, and he provided Adam with a wife. The first marriage relationship ever made.

References to Genesis

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:06 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702467 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702466 I remember telling you it would happen. You took my words the wrong way and disregarded their reality as nonsense. What you didn't know is that I'd been in your place. The truth is, I liked you a lot, but deep down further, I truly cared for you and your future. I wanted to save you from this hurt. You didn't listen to me.

Now I'm fighting myself. Part of me still wants to forgive and forget. It's who I am. I've always been one to just forget and move on, disregarding all that's gone on. Another part of me wants to be hurt and move on. You made your choice, you left me behind. Although at first I held on, now I'm almost ready to move on. The wasted time seems less and less important now, yet I still haven't let go.

Why do I care about you? I don't know. I just do. It's not an attachment, it's not creepy, it's genuine.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:05 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702466 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702465 My layout's finally looking good, thanks to Pat Dryburgh! Make sure you check out his designs when you get a chance. Starting the blog and moving along to the coming portfolio. Clean and modern designs. Very solid stuff.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:05 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702465 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702464 God, I think I've forgotten what it is to have relationship.

I just realized how caught up I get in this stuff... school, designing...church. All my time goes down the drain before I say one word to you. I'm writing you this letter to apologize. I'll give you a few minutes now before I go to sleep. I should spend more time... maybe tell you about my day, but it went by so fast. Anyway, you were there...

What if this is all ...nothing. What if it's all a waste of time. Then all that matters is if you know my name. In the end, how many hungry people did I feed as if I was feeding you? How many times did I stop to talk to someone, or even give them a second glance? I need to try harder.

Goodnight.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:05 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702464 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702463 More of a reminder to myself...

You can't complete someone else if you're not first complete in yourself.

Now's not a good time.

Wed. I'll talk it out... maybe then I'll figure out what's bugging me lately. I know there's a bunch of stuff that led to this. I'm happy, but I'm not. Something's been eating at me.

Girls are so confusing. I can't figure you out. Seems like overnight things turned around again. But, I can't read you. I don't know if this is something, or if I just want it to be. I don't know why I let myself worry about it. I've got a lot in life to focus on. I could put my thinking to better use. I've got time. But my minds of it's own.

As of me and God, I'm falling back from the things I 'do' and going back to the basics- or at least that's my plan. I need to rebuild my relationship, and what I need to remember is that He initiated it, not me. I'm supposed to respond. So that's what I'll do. I'll sing a song, I'll say a prayer, and wait for a response. That's what relationship is right? You're supposed to get a response...

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:05 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702463 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702462 My layout's finally looking good, thanks to Pat Dryburgh! Make sure you check out his designs when you get a chance. Starting the blog and moving along to the coming portfolio. Clean and modern designs. Very solid stuff.

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:05 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702462 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702461 Everytime I see Brittany Spears on TV, I think about how awful life must be for her right now. She tries to pull her life together, but how could one possibly do that when the whole world his talking about you, mocking you...

This article just really hit home for me. ~God, meet her where she is, and use her to help her sister Jamie thru this time as well. You've got a plan for their lives too.

Click here to read the article...

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:04 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702461 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702460 More of a reminder to myself...

You can't complete someone else if you're not first complete in yourself.

Now's not a good time.

Wed. I'll talk it out... maybe then I'll figure out what's bugging me lately. I know there's a bunch of stuff that led to this. I'm happy, but I'm not. Something's been eating at me.

Girls are so confusing. I can't figure you out. Seems like overnight things turned around again. But, I can't read you. I don't know if this is something, or if I just want it to be. I don't know why I let myself worry about it. I've got a lot in life to focus on. I could put my thinking to better use. I've got time. But my minds of it's own.

As of me and God, I'm falling back from the things I 'do' and going back to the basics- or at least that's my plan. I need to rebuild my relationship, and what I need to remember is that He initiated it, not me. I'm supposed to respond. So that's what I'll do. I'll sing a song, I'll say a prayer, and wait for a response. That's what relationship is right? You're supposed to get a response...

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:04 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702460 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702459 Everytime I see Brittany Spears on TV, I think about how awful life must be for her right now. She tries to pull her life together, but how could one possibly do that when the whole world his talking about you, mocking you...

This article just really hit home for me. ~God, meet her where she is, and use her to help her sister Jamie thru this time as well. You've got a plan for their lives too.

Click here to read the article...

]]> Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:45:04 -0700 http://virb.com/justalex/posts/text/702459