I spent a week in California, but I don’t think I explained why I went. I mentioned the potential of going overseas—this would have been with a missions organization, and part of my decision process involved going to check it out, taking part in their training conference while I was there.

Throughout the week, I was confronted with a lot of ideas with which I found myself forced to wrestle. It was difficult in a variety of ways, but healthy and helpful in counting the costs of leaving the country for 2 years, being away from my family even longer than I already had been (without any monthly 7-hour drives home for visiting over the weekend), and having to let go of everything I’d established myself in, once again, to go learn an entirely new culture, language, and community—from scratch. Both exciting and daunting. Neither of which were reasons I felt could easily lead me in going or not going.

In the end, I realized that there is a list of stuff (spiritually, personally, creatively, etc) I want and need to work on first, and going overseas would have tacked on a whole other list of weighty and time-intensive items, like studying a different culture and learning a complex language, that I would need to prioritize over everything else. I’m interested in tent-making as a means to travel, if I should do so, and at the moment, a vocation in missions work doesn’t seem to be what’s on my heart.

So after a bunch of thinking and traveling to make all these decisions, I concluded that I would move back to Dallas and stay put for awhile. I’m kind of tired of planes now and have a strange disinterest in traveling after over doing it. It’s kind of odd to think that I’ve not really lived in Dallas as an adult yet. I was in Denton for years but as a student, then I moved out of state the summer after graduation.

It feels like this is as good a place as any to have the reset button hit, to find a good pace for myself and figure out where I belong. It helps knowing where things are, knowing people, having an idea of what’s out there. Of course, reality is more taxing. I’m in Dallas now, but life seems in limbo. I’m still trying to fill my lease in Memphis and a bit nervous about the possibility of having to pay through the end of it, while my savings are dwindling. I am still jobless, during a tricky time of the year to get in touch with people. Freelance hasn’t been working out, nor do I want it to in the long run. Not working since late October is making me go crazy. I’ve been living with my parents, while Graham and Natalie paint and re-carpet some rooms, so most of my stuff is packed away in the garage. It will be nice in the end, but I’m definitely ready to get settled in.

Anyway, if you’re in Dallas, hit me up! I’m excited to start getting connected again. And Merry Christmas.

<a href="http://portfolio.justinpocta.com">portfolio.justinpocta.com</a>
my work is online and i'm looking for a job in dallas!

further logo ideation. the mighty pen & arrow...trying to tie an eye in there as well might be overkill. pen tip may need refinement to read better. trying to think through how this will work with text, how it reduces, and how much impact it really has...