Ahh the mysterious inline form....to leave blank or to type something?
I think my writing is a far better commentary "about me" than what I could possibly babble about within the confines of this little space.
That being said, I'm 46 years old, unapologetic in my eccentricity, the mother of three grown human children, and many literary "babies," that gather around me daily, beckoning my attention, craving to be nurtured.
classical, acoustic, piano, classical guitar, environmental soundscapes, pop, alternative, trance, ambient chill, vocal trance, classic rock, instrumentation
thunderstorms, candlelight, the cool autumn breeze, falling leaves, the greens of mid-spring, the collected works of Tori Amos and Stevie Nicks, poets, a child's imagination, a sense of wonder, the perfect latte, sashimi, fresh fruit off the vine or tree, the sounds of the ocean, fuzzy blankets, a cool pillow
updated Aug 14, 2009 via Twitter by Garrett Murray
AugustAug 13 Thursday Thu 09
I think I'm finally understanding
The muse
I can't really go chasing after her...she's far too much a lady to allow herself to be acosted in such a way
But rather I must sit back, be still, and wait for her to come
When I try to chase after inspiration
It seems utterly elusive
Oh sure...I catch brief moments of it, as if she perhaps brushed past, leaving her fragrance on my skin
Which lasts just long enough to really make me hungry for the fullness of her sensuality
It's like being kissed ever so lighting on the lips by the most beautiful creature alive
Only to have her float away on the breeze
It leaves me hungry
wanton
voracious
ravenous
craving
But if rather than pursuing her in a mad frenzy I would simply sit and be still
And turn the gaze elsewhere rather than toward the object of my utmost affection
I soon find
That she has found...me
Perhaps the muse is a bit of a control freak
No...she seems too graceful and full of light
To be burdened with such a neurosis
Maybe she is just dominant in her gossamer ways
And desirous of my submission to her seduction
What sweet irony that thought
But whatever the case
She will not allow my aggressive pursuit
She requires of me
Submission
Meekness
To see her
To hold her
I must avert my eyes FROM her
I must bow to her beauty and her brilliance
My own perceived luminescence must humble itself
To allow hers to take me
Subdue me
Possess me
And fuck the stupidity of my own moronic unenlightened ideas
Right out of my foolish head
AugustAug 12 Wednesday Wed 09
Anywhere USA: Sometimes the direction...just seems endlessly blurry...out of focus...but I see the signs, I see the light, I just continue on intuition and the knowledge that I must keep...moving forward.
Levi Watercolor: i miss you son... years go by you grow and change, farther away from me than i ever imagined you'd be... time and distance don't change my love for you at all... but you change... and the days and nights rush on... my watercolor memory doesn't do you justice, but life's just like this... time marches on, but a mother's love is timeless, ageless... there is no way to define it. i don't want you to fade away in bleached colors as you go your own way... i hold on to you....in my mind's eye... i sit here alone... making watercolors of my own
Rainer Maria Rilke
Values: Some of the things that propel me forward when propulsion and motivation seem all but lost....
This morning I woke up a bit earlier than usual, and before my usual date with The Best Defense and In Session on CourtTV (or TruTV, whatever stupid name they've given it now), there was an infomercial on. Now, I'm not usually one for watching informercials. I think they're generally an insult to our intelligence. But this one was different. It was an insult to our intelligence with built in LOLs.
The infomercial was for Kymaro from Ubuyez.com. Yeah, I know...sounds like a character on World of Warcraft that is working for a Chinese gold farming business selling game currency. If you're not a PC gamer and that comment makes no sense, I'm sorry, but trust me...it's true.
Anyway, so I proceed to stare at the screen, coffee in hand, as we're "treated" to multiple before and after shots of some rather fluffy women (I don't like the word fat). So yeah, the full body girdle they're trying to sell...actually appears to work. But as I'm sitting there thinking it might be nice to have one of these full-body-condom-suit-flab-filter-thingiemajiggers, this scene runs through my mind:
FADE IN:
Interior Random Urban Nightclub, 1 am
Neon light drenched, strobe lit, active bar scene.
VOICE OVER (Handsome Guy at Bar speaking):
"Suddenly I saw her. She seemed perfect in every way...gently flowing long blonde hair, sun-caressed silky smooth skin, slinky black dress, cherry red lips, and mossy green sparkling eyes that begged attention. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I had to speak to her, to explore the possibilities..."
POV Handsome Guy at Bar: moves toward Attractive Woman.
CLOSE UP Attractive Woman's eyes as her eyes meet his.
Handsome Guy at Bar:
"Hey, Baby, whatch doin' tonight after you leave this joint? Wanna come over to my place for a drink, maybe watch a movie, get to know each other, just chill?"
Seemingly Slim Woman at Bar:
(Ignore the apparent lack of common sense in this reply...hey, I mean, it's just what randomly ran through my head, but I'd have probably smacked him, myself, and she...should have...even though this was just my mind's interpretation of the consequences of buying the body-condom-suit-flab-filter-thingiemajigger.)
"Well sure, Baby, that sounds like fun!"
FADE OUT
(30 minutes later)
EXTERIOR NIGHT Guy's car pulling into his townhouse drive.
*cut to Guy's living room*
Slim Woman:
"I know why you invited me over, so let's just cut to the chase and get it on, Baby."
Handsome Guy:
"Oh, I knew...I knew you were just what the doctor ordered."
Slim Woman: (Amused and delighted by this amorous new acquaintance...giggles)
"Well just let me go to the bathroom and freshen up a bit."
Handsome Guy:
"No problem, Sweet Thing. It's right there. (motions in direction of bathroom)
I'll be waiting, but don't be long."
POV Handsome Guy: Watches as she gracefully walks to the bathroom and turns once inside, offering him a last little peek at her flirtatious eyes as she peeks around the door while closing it.
Handsome Guy begins to pour himself another drink.
Meanwhile in the bathroom, Slim Woman struggles to get out of full-body-condom-suit-flab-filter-thingiemajigger, in order to surprise him in all her generous glory.
(45 minutes later)
Handsome Guy has fallen asleep from drinking too much whiskey and is snoring on the couch.
Slim Woman quietly walks over to him, naked, and gently nudges him...
He wakes and begins screaming at the top of his lungs.
Handsome Guy:
"OMG OMG OMG...who ARE you and what have you done with my date?! I'm calling the police!"
And the morale of this story is:
Lies, even if they seem like a good idea at the time...always catch up with you.
Think I'll pass on ordering the full-body-condom-suit-flab-filter-thingiemajigger, at least for now.
Lori Hutcherson
AugustAug 11 Tuesday Tue 09
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One of the many pieces of royalty free music by the composer, Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com. Kevin composes emotionally eloquent works that perfectly underscore the ever unfolding drama of life. His works are often used by vloggers and short film artists.
i don't miss what we had...
i miss what i thought we had
i don't miss you...
i miss who I thought you were
my reminiscing is not my grieving your loss...
it is my persistent attempt to figure out
where,
when,
how
and why you deceived me
my writing about our time together is not
leftover loving...
it is my vow to myself
never to fall prey
to
Illusions
again