kerriness

smiles

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 22:47:12 -0800

Sista circle

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 21:22:05 -0800

dancin'.

What A Difference Three Days Make.

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:13:35 -0800

Wow. So there is a new man in my life. I was drowning my sorrows on Saturday night when Aeon messaged me and asked me if I wanted to hit the club with him and Mike. I said what the hell. So I put on my miniature leopard shirt and waltzed in the door. We're exclusive so we were ushered into the club through the kitchen. We got our little wristbands and got to dancing. The boys are greeting those around them when I noticed Aeon talking to a J. Holiday lookalike. Holiday sees me. "Hi I'm _____. You're beautiful." I blushed a little bit. I have a couple more drinks so I'm feeling good. I tell Aeon I think _____ is cute. He makes us dance together on the next song. We dance for the rest of the night. He kisses me. I kiss him back. And it's good. We were all hanging out after the club closed. _____ had his arms around me. He called me later that night. He called me the next morning. So I have a boyfriend now. Wow.

Wishing It Was Like Magic.

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 00:35:10 -0800

Though I am surely not God's gift to mankind, I am a pretty nice girl. I think. But it is times like these when I reach skyward and scream toward the heavens, "What the hell [no pun intended. oh wait. yes it was.] did I ever do to you?!" I am embarking on month 3 of dire singledom. Not that there's anything wrong with being single. At times, it's the only way to be. But my situation is dire. I'm taking I'm the kind of single that shows no signs of ceasing, the kind that one is faced with in the land of no prospects. I go to a school composed almost entirely of man/boys yet nothing. Some have tried but I'm at the point where I need to be shaken and stirred to get into something. I'm getting that itch-- I'm craving stability like it's oxygen. And though I want somebody who can take care of me-- oh God, I can't believe I just said that-- I'm not willing to sacrifice passion and attraction for it. I have so often in the past let men choose me instead of the other way around. A friend is pursuing me and no matter how many times I tell him that I'm not interested he keeps on keeping on. But, I guess, persistence could possibly, maybe work in his favor. But then again, that might be the terror of dying alone and being eaten by wild dogs talking. This year begins the countdown (countup?) of my real life. My parents were my age when they got married. Egads. Let me stop this. My mind is about to explode.

Surveyor.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 01:31:32 -0800

Hi, my name is: Kerri When I'm nervous: I peel my nails. Last night I: played the part of a stripping crackhead for a friend. PART 1: YOU Were you a planned baby?: Yes. Were you the first?: Yes, again. PART 2: YOUR PERSONALITY Do you have low self esteem?: No Do you get depressed about things easily?: I can go back and forth. Are you happy right now?: Sure. PART 3: APPEARANCE Are you comfortable with the way you look?: I'm a pretty girl. Describe your hair: Short and natural- it's natural texture and-gasp- color, too. PART 4: RANDOM Ever been kicked out of a bar? No. Ever been arrested?: No. PART 5: THE OUTDOORS Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Indoors. Do you like walking in the rain?: Warm rain. Summer rain. When my hair is natural. Do you like thunderstorms?: sometimes. PART 6: FOOD Are you a vegetarian? not anymore. Anything you absolutely could eat forever?: Fried potatoes What is your favorite dessert?: Good tiramisu PART 7: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE Do you want to get married?: Can't hardly wait. Have you ever been in love?: Yes. Are you in a relationship?: First time in a long time, I am totally single. PART 8: RANDOM QUESTIONS 1. Where is your cell phone?: Somewhere 5. Cheesecake? Junior's? 7. Your dream last night?: I think I was with Keith. 8. Your favorite drink?: I enjoy glugging Arbor Mist straight out of the bottle 9. Car you want?: Black Range Rover 12. Your fears?: that I haven't found my niche. 13. You've met a genie. Three wishes?: a) Have financial security, stability and independence b.) Have all of the knowledge that I want in an instant c.) Find real love. 14. Who are you hanging out with tonight?: Ron and Jay 15. If you could be a villain, who would it be?: Poison Ivy of Batman Fame. 16. Do you really taste a difference between bottled waters? Yes. Fiji is the best. 17. One of your wish list items? I need to revamp the wish list...I'm doing pretty good. 18. Where did you grow up?: Midlothian, Virginia. 19. Favorite Sushi Roll: Eel Roll. Shrimp Tempura. 20. What are you wearing?: Black Full Sail Sweatshirt, brown tutleneck, black dress skirt, navy blue sneakers 21. Tattoos?: Notta one. 22. Ketchup?: In small quantities on things like hamburgers and french fries. 23. Your computer?: Is a MacBook Pro 24. Your life?: Is Golden. 25. Your friends?: are growing and expanding. the circle of them I mean. 27. What are you thinking about right now?: food. sex. 30. Your work? No income. I'm just a design student. 31. Your summer?: Was crazy. Extreme highs and extreme lows. 32. Your favorite color(s)?: Oranges, greens. Red nails and red lips. 33. When is the last time you laughed?: A teensy bit ago. 34. Last time you cried? This morning. 36. Last text?: Ron. 37. Last received call?: Jay. 39. Last IM?: Crystal. PART 9: LIFE 1. Who knows the most about you? My mother. Crystal. 2. Who do you blame for your mood today? Blame is not a good word. 3. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yes. 4. What should we do with stupid people? Shoot them 5. What is making you sad right now? The lack of food in my house. 6. What was the first thing you did this morning? Cried 9. Last person you went out to dinner with? .Sylvia. 10. Are you spoiled? Perhaps. 11. Do you drink lots of water? Not enough. 12. What toothpaste do you use? Colgate Total. 13. How do you vent your anger?: I kind of don't. 14. The last compliment you received? "You're beautiful, Kerri." Jay, simply trying to make me shut up about the circumference of my thighs. 15. What did you do last weekend? Saw Jacob play, stood in the rain with Ron, giggled with Sylvia, met John, danced the night away with the best class in the world. 16. When was the last time you threw up? Last month. 18. What theme does your room have? Peaceful. Creams and greys. 20. Are you a mama's child or a daddy's child? I'm my mother's child. 21. Would you ever join the military? Can't imagine myself doing that. 22. The last website you visited? Facebook. 23. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Brian, Tom, Sylvia, Patrick. 25. Last person you went to the movies with? My parents. 26. What did you do/will you do for your birthday this year? I'll wait til June to sort that out. 27. Number of layers on your bed? Mattress, foam mattress, 2 sheets. Woven blanket, coverlet. 28. Is anything alive in your room? Just me. 29. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? Let's just push on forward. 30. What are you looking forward to right now? Going to sleep. Part 10: IF YOU HAD TO: 1. If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it? A serpent snaking its way up my lower back. But I won't. 2. If you HAD to dye your hair a color what color would it be? Burgundy. 3. If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS)? My nose. 4. If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose? Stella. Call me Stella Roberts.

Click here for a good time.

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:04:32 -0800

I've found the key to pure listening pleasure: Common's Finding Forever. It's doing its best to secure its place as my number one music purchase of 2007. I'm spinning it a second time on my hot new 16gb iPod Touch. (it's too amazing) Just thought that you should know.

Disaster on the Homefront.

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 11:10:17 -0800

Disastrous. The situation is absolutely disastrous. Sparks, my boy from the 804, is having fidelity problems. And that's not even the big issue, it's how I came to know this information- with my own damn eyes. So, it's Christmastime. And we all know that in the Jack and Jill world of Richmond, you're bound to see the same people over and over again at every event. My first party of the season is the A___n's dessert party. Sparks knows damn well that I have known all of his damn friends practically since I was born and specifically knows that I know the A___n's youngest son, who happens to be one of his best friends. So Sparks, apparently not noticing the picture of my family in the display case, is sitting on the couch with some girl. My mother and I walk in. He gives her a hug. He doesn't say a word to me. I played it cool, though. I had friends in the room, some of whom I was genuinely excited to see. Mommy says Sparks didn't have the same luck capturing the cool factor. "He would have disappeared if he could, Kerri." I almost feel bad for him. He's a simple man and a lousy player. A real pimp would have maintained a friendship with me and probably introduced me to the girl. That's what a real playa would have done. So, here I am again in famine mode. I'm totally single with few prospects. Piano Man has been refriended, Salsa lives in the Caribbean, and Sparks has actually, kind of, broken my heart. Wow.

Almost Home

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 06:34:07 -0800

Whooooooo! The month is almost over and that mean that it's almost Christmastime! Terribly excited I Am. I can't wait to go back home or to my parent's house as my mom prefers me to reference it. Something about that place is so deliciously irresistable, my family is the bessssssst.Obviously, I'm not doing to well with the completion of thoughts, but I should really be doing some homework instead of fooling around with this nonsense. Almost time to see Sparks. I might be terminating that situation. I am not ready to deal with long distance; I care too Much to not have him here. It makes no sense. I know.There's Cooody too, he wants me and I'm letting him work the situation however he wants. Piano Man and I have established ourselves firmly as friends. I have mixed feelings about that. I was the one who put our fire on ice and in typical Stella style, I want him back. I do not know if it's desire born out of convenience or if the attraction is really just that strong, but I don't care. I'm terrible. I know.

Let's Call Me Stells

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:56:01 -0800

Hey everybody (or nobody.) it's blogging time.I've become re-enamored (not a word, I'm sure) with the many wonders of a fantastic computer. This summer was relatively computer free; I finally destroyed my powerbook and was forced to rely on the family Dell and a prehistoric Compaq laptop. So I kind of boycotted the whole business instead. But now I am here in my very first apartment sitting at my very own kitchen table fiddling with my brand new MacBook Pro. It is sleek and sexy in the manner of all the Macs but this one takes it to the next level because of the software. Full Sail (My new wondrous school- More details to come) is amazing. They realize that in order to succeed in an industry driven by technology, you, as the student, need to have complete access to that technology. So, in addition to the computer, my tuition garnered me FINAL CUT STUDIO 2 and ADOBE CREATIVE SUITE 3 PROFESSIONAL! I'm talking Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, Flash (with Video Encoder), and InDesign. I actually welled up with tears as we watched a video they had put together to illustrate the capabilities of our software package. I haven't been this excited about any single opportunity since the first time I headed off to Denison (My last school-More about that later too).I am finally coming in to my own. It's taken twenty two years and three different colleges but I think I've found myself. Finally.I've been geeking it out hardcore lately. I am fascinated by Photoshop and my own image. I've done alot of crappy stuff and some good but I particularly like this one image, as a fresco.I took the picture in Photobooth, so I did do a little cheat but I have to say, I'm pleased with the end result. My new friend and schoolmate, Aeon, insists that I work with pictures of me because I am just that conceited. But that's not it, I swear. I'm just easy and available. Kind of a camera ho.Not to change the subject, but...Speaking of being a ho, well not being a ho really because I'm not, but speaking of fornication, I am contemplating my next moves. Someone here is delightfully tempting but Sparks is still my sweetie. I was on the phone with him and he was telling me that he couldn't wait until I got home for Christmas break. I responded in kind, telling him I was going crazy with the waiting. He said, "Wait for me. I hope you can wait for me." Wow. I don't know if he knows how he sounds when he says these things but he has a way of sending m into a tailspin. He's five years older than me but he really has such a sweet innocence about him. He's sexy and charming and sensitive and affectionate. He's a man but I always feel like I could scandalize him. I don't want to; I want to make this work. I'm trying to be a good girl. I'm trying to get rid of past behaviors and attitudes. I'm trying to be faithful in an open situation. But it's really damn hard.

What's happenin'

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:56:01 -0800

Thanksgiving break was a bit of a different situation this year. I was ceremoniously not invited to come home (Kerri, it would probably be better if you stayed in florida...) so my friend, let's call him Little Man, invited me to accompany him home for the break. So here i am in LaGrange, Georgia about 40 minutes north of Alabama and 70 minutes south of Atlanta. i told my best friend, dawn that i am so close but so far away. Oh well. There's always next time I guess.Let me stop a second and introduce you to all of the various and sundry characters in my life:Mommy and daddy: nuff said. They're my parents.Ari: My baby sisDawn: My very best friend in the entire universe. We've been each other's number one homie since we were in the eight grade.Daniel: My other "Best friend." This relationship is almost one of convenience, he's closer to my brother who knows all of my business then my friend sometimes.Piano Man: my new neighbor. He lives in the apartment across the way from me and it's ironic that we should come to be near each other now because I have known him since he's an old chum from the jack & Jill days.Sparks: My new sweetie. He was my hip hop teacher back in Richmond and became my lover. i think he could be the real thing.Ace: He's one of my newest friends. A talented fellow, he writes and performs some good quality hip hop. He's a real talent, look out for him.Capone: He's my Ex. Hopefully, you will hear very little of him. if he comes into my life past introductions, just be warned, it is not a good thing.So those are some of the key players in my life. They are the ones influencing my life right now. Wow. i have completely lost my train of thought.