Somewhere south of the year 2000, a trio of loud-mouthed white dudes from NYC called the Beastie Boys finished up fighting for their rights to party, and released an album called Hello Nasty. The opening track was a blitzkrieg of hip-hop and hollering that went by the name of Super Disco Breakin'. Leaving no room to breathe, the three MCs spat out two minutes of thoroughly energetic diatribes about making money, drinking coffee, and something about an 808.

Super Disco Breakin', the original, is filled with party shouts and mixed-up metaphors about pancakes, records and head-hunting. The track cannot be called sincere by even the most Gumby-like truth-stretchers: it is bereft of introspection and completely lacking in melody, and that's exactly why we like it.

I was compelled by fate itself to transform this 90s rap track into a piano ballad - one that could turn even the coldest, darkest heart into a flourishing rainforest of love. Folks, this is the piano version of Super Disco Breakin'. The money-making anthem has been given a melody, and I have viciously injected this tune with enough sap and sincerity that even the Beastie Boys wouldn't recognize the song. Please have your 'kerchiefs at the ready. If the concept itself doesn't bring you to tears, then having to listen to my Alanis-like voice wailing about the disco certainly will.

Download the file: Kevan Gilbert - Super Disco Breakin' (Beastie Boys cover).mp3

Super Disco Breakin': The lyrics

Verse 1:

50 cups of coffee and you know it's on

I move the crowd to the break of break of dawn

Can't rock the house without the party people

Cause when we're gettin' down we are all equal

Chorus:

Money Makin', Money Money Makin'

Super Disco, Disco Breakin'

Money Makin', Money Money Makin'

Super Disco, Disco Breakin'

Verse 2:

There's no better or worse between you and me

But I rock the mic so viciously

Like pins and needles and words that sting

At the blink of an eye I will do my thing

[Chorus]

Verse 3:

It's like a needle in the cartridge when the record spins

Like diggin' down deep in the record bins

Everybody gettin' down make no mistake

Nothing sounds quite like an 808

[Chorus]