i may be driven

but i forgot the goal and where i'm driving to.
if that goal was to make me think about you in mundane moments,
and work at being the best just because anything less just doesn't test...

i've figured out the main points but i'm finding the details hard to pin down
do you want do i not are you interested will you not do i do i doubt
the messages i get from you now are
more frequent and doting
like you miss me in the evening and again when it's morning.

i got the big picture.
for me it's getting clearer,
that big day's getting nearer.
there are a ton of gears to grind
and lines to send, letters to pen, rules to bend, but
i'm working my way back to you.
i'm driving.

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just a note to self :

where hearts and minds are concerned
it's really none of your business.
and, you can't afford to get hurt again.

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if i think about it too much

i woke up this morning kissing the lips that i miss and the face that i love in my dreams.

i guess it's more of an early morning nightmare keeping me from day's work and doing things productive.

and knowing that i can't see you for weeks and months and months to come is almost more than i can bear, but

in the vein of keeping hope alive,

i will settle for a note.

just to know that you exist.

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it sounds stupid to say

like i wish your face was here
and how bad i wish it would speak

your words your thoughts and your opinions.

i miss you everyday.

i'm just trying to find a way to say that.

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i guess it's a little bit difficult

to say i miss you every morning
and every night before i fall asleep

when the one you want the most
you only see in dreams.

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i don't really have much to say, but

he was hot and i hope he messages me soon.

other than that everything is aces.

loves.

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if i loved you, of course,

since i don't, of course,
we can always
be the same.

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If you asked me

i would.

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in all honesty,

once a day.

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