First of all I have a confession to make. My faith is weak, and not only that but my hope hasn't really been on the radar at all. What a message to be sending to the world.

My own issues with control and having to know everything sucked me dry of having hope. Thats it. And it does, as it should, make me feel like a spiritual bum.

Psalms 27:14
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Control + hopelessness = selfishness and shame of God.

I was doing homework until I understood that getting this out was more important.

I hope that you people can forgive me, and I know God has. I am truly sorry for my childish behavior.

Secondly.
I've got that feeling again...the one I usually get right before things happen.
So far I've concluded, which I have slightly though of before, that I am not here in Graceville FL for my education at BCF. Yes, it is a priority and I am learning. But I've realized since coming here that my education elsewhere, the one God handed directly to me, could be a more important reason for me being here. And for me to have learned or obtained that education, God had to completely work out things at BCF, and call me here. Yet again, God moves his firm hand and hands me things when I don't ever deserve it. Seeing things a little past BCF (as to the reason for me being here), even though still foggy, are giving me a renewed sense of purpose at this time in life.

Thirdly.
The secondly is also backed up with the fact that I'm growing and bending quite rapidly...inspite of myself...so I know God is at work. The people, places, and events are too perfect to deny Christ's hand in the matter. This is where prayer is so much needed and appreciated. Satan is tricky and sneaky and knows that attacking me is most effective inside of my own head. Discerning the lies is getting easier, but I know they won't always be. Sometimes it's pretty intense and I'd say it's almost the equivalent of some hardcore anxiety. I just know I can always be victorious.....with God that is :-)

Ok, it's lunch time, but I thank you for your time.
God Bless,
Lauren