Some women enter marriage thinking their husbands are perfect, except for those few, ultimately insignificant, but you know, kind of important things they want to change about them. Not me. My husband is basically perfect (excepting his inherent sin nature; but come on, that so rarely comes into play for either of us. We're blessed). We're both artists, I love his taste, and he loves mine. We're great. Except, well, yes, I did ask him to grow out his hair for me and keep it well-groomed for about a year. He really wanted it that way, I was just encouraging him. Right?

My husband and I had a very serious discussion after moving to Boston. I think we had been here three days. I wanted him to cut his hair, he reminded me that I was the one who cut it, I said I was used to making hair appointments not having my hairdresser call me to schedule an appointment, he said he could do that but ultimately he was fine with his hair no matter what it looked like... I'm not sure if this is a somewhat familiar scenario for any other women out there. I assume so. Aesthetics are very important to me; I think I've been called a beauty glutton. Joshua is an aesthete as well. A very conscientious one. I am so grateful God gave me a man with fantastic taste. I only have problems with his aesthetic choices when they don't line up with mine. This is rare. So you can imagine what a jolt it is to my artistic system when it happens. He would rather have a shaved head than have longish, punky, awesome hair. I have been doing my own hair since I was seven. I mean, my bangs in the 1980s were envied grade-wide. Possibly even throughout lower and middle school, but I have no evidence to back this up. So, it doesn't really resonate with me when my wonderful, fantastically creative husband tells me he doesn't really CARE what his hair looks like. And worse, he'd rather shave it. So, realizing we have a conflict, I think. I pray.

Jesus speaks quickly. What would I want Joshua to do if our positions were switched? Would I want him to impose his aesthetic choices on me or let me express my own creativity? Feeling this is such a stupid thing to have conflict over, but somewhere in the core of me understanding that I'm being totally selfish, I humble myself and tell him he can shave his head if he wants to. Or I'll cut his hair the way I want it to be. But please make a decision tomorrow. I can't take the jumbled afro anymore. He promised.

We woke up the next day, and Joshua shaved his head. He looked so happy, said he felt like himself again. I hadn't realized that he didn't feel like himself before, but now he looked so relieved, so at home with himself. This makes me happy. And I think my opinion has changed--he looks equally awesome with a buzz. And fortunately for both of us, our opinions regarding hair length can rapidly change from season to season. He may want to grow it out again in the fall. It doesn't take that long. Me, on the other hand, if I want to grow it out, I have to be committed.

For the picture, go to my flickr as seen on my Virb profile.