Yesterday, I paid my respects at the funeral of Mr. Utid, the father of one of the graduates of AIMS, the elementary school of which my mom is the administrator. He was 53.

This is the first Buddhist funeral I have attended and it felt like a tangle of an ancient ritual that you would read about in myths and a modern western funeral. The ceremony was held in the courtyard of one of the wealthier temples in the city of Saraburi. Mr. Utid was a prominent man and the courtyard pavilion was packed with provinces high society. The ceremony consisted of two parts. Most of it consisted of a presentation of gifts to the monastery. One man in a black tie and white shirt trekked up and down the stairs of the ornate crematorium that sat in front of the pavilion delivering the gifts to the saffron-robed monk who hid behind his fan and sedately accepted the gifts. The crowd of people talked, laughed, ate and drank (yes, we were served snacks) as this part of the ceremony went on.
At the end, we stood for a prayer, and then a hidden traditional orchestra struck up a intense beat. We filed up the stairs of the crematorium, paying respects at the gold and white casket.

The crematorium was an odd structure. A brand new incinerator was installed in the building, a shiny marble exterior and computerized controls buried in classic Thai architecture.
Everything seemed very matter-of-fact. Everyone seemed fairly cheerful, though the family members wore looks of studied neutrality, with a creeping sadness edging into their eyes.
My mom and I talked about funerals and other important life ceremonies on the way back home. We both don't particularly want funerals, and I told her that I would completely back her up on not having a funeral when she dies, as long as she puts it in the will so I'm not the evil son suddenly. I don't think closure requires a ceremony like that, and if other people require it...well, I'm sorry, but I don't need an hour of people remembering me. If I die, remember me in your dreams and in quiet cafe conversations, that will be enough.