• Audio

Lyrics

This is the story of a pre-school loser
Not yet a cruiser, not yet a boozer
Research says I've been a hell a lot looser
Matter of fact, let's take it back to the times
On the field, playing Duck, Duck, Goose.
Never chosen to chase the chickens that couldn't touch me.
Up next was Becky, she's hot and she's hungry.
Pre-school bitch was a playboy bunny
She making her rounds, calling out the duckies
Next thing you knew this honey was all on me
Sitting in my lap, man, thought she gonna fuck me.
Roped her in like a Crocodile Dundee.
Turns out she didn't want me, she just tripped
And never wanted to call me goose.
I accidentally grabbed her ass and they brought the noose.
Yelling at me like I thought up of this clever ruse.
They wanna know who I be working for, parents opened up the door
"No, ma, never did touch that whore."
"Son, if you gonna be doing that, wear your condoms
I was with you when you bought them at the supermarket"
"Guys, why'd I wanna grab her ass in times like these
It's hard enough, trying not to piss my jeans"
I'm only 4 years old, saying this like Cut the Cheese
Easy squeezy lemon peasy was a daily fling
Clinging to my mama's dress, what protection bring?
When I'm a toddler and they want me in the sing sing?
They tried for everything, except for court supreme
It was so absurd when I heard that Becky scream.
The PTA was acting like the KKK
They wanna put me behind the bars straight away.
Playing power rangers while they say that I'm a rapist.
They said I knew what I was doing, that's the strangest
When I have nothing but fruity pebbles for breakfast.
I hope I "phil spector" this trial, but they wreckless with
Inspections, I hope I get this cause I got a healthy checklist
Got a lot of things to do before I stop and check-in.
I'm imagining like Lennon when my life could step-in.
But life is sentencing, Jettisoned by Edison.
Sent me to the South for electric chair medicine.
Ain't no pun in that, they want me frying in.
Becky's parents want me to jump a loaded gun
We all in court for the final verdict, ain't it fun?
A final plea from my Daddy "Please don't take my son"
Judge had a heart of gold and crumbled up the verdict and
Told me kindly with a tear that my case was won
Might've saved my life, but people say "you're dead to me
You don't exist, G", shunned by a society
Not even Michael Jackson wanna touch me.
Heh......The Moral of this story is
Don't play Duck Duck Goose without a condom
Me and Becky had kids but we pawned them
For some pop rocks.