possibly it's drug induced
1 comment | posted Jun 15
I sit in my room, bothered by an enormous fly that is as loud as a fighter plane hovering over my house, new found love in hand (lavender chamomile loose tea) thinking about how much of a realist I am. I think of the changes made in the last few months and think of the changes still to be made in the next few months. Of course questions arise followed by what if statements and further followed by buts, whens, wheres. You get the gist. Even with the Lord. I wait in anticipation but have those standards that are always known: nothing will happen until the Lord wants it to, new is to come in time, cliche yada yada.
Why have I made it here?
Have I been through enough to know the cyclical nature of things? I look back at all those "hard" times and see the same deal. I was carried through it, I thought differently than the Lord, He did what He was going to do,then I look back and say Wow, He was right after all and so on.
Don't know if it's the lavender chamomile that has made me ponderous tonight, but do with it what you will.
gaytheologian says:
i think there's one important element in this you might be missing...the fact that you have made choices, and that you indeed have the free will to make those choices. i often feel like god is driving the car and i'm just a passenger, but then i realize god is simply whispering in my ear and i'm really driving the car, hopefully hearing him right and going the way that is best. some people talk about trusting your instincts; i prefer to see it as trusting the small voice inside me to lead me in the right direction.
posted Jun 15