Posts
NovemberNov 22 Sunday 09
He sat in his cold living room, looking at the cake that had been talking to him for the last hour. The cake finally went home. Sunday.
updated 3 days ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 19 Thursday 09
"You remind me of a robot kitten." "I do?" "Yep. And you smell like an orchard." "Yeah?" "Yep. Now, please take my hand out of your mouth."
updated 6 days ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 17 Tuesday 09
He knew it was #kittentuesday, but all he could think about was robots. So, he chased a few around the house and ate a lime wedge sandwich.
updated 1 week ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 12 Thursday 09
The water was tumultuous, tossing the boat to & fro. The robot splashed the kitten that floated in the tub, eating the boat. And the kitten.
updated 2 weeks ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 10 Tuesday 09
A kite drifted through the sky and into her living room. Stapled to the kite was a kitten. Tuesdays kept getting better and better and best.
updated 2 weeks ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 7 Saturday 09
The zombies were winning. It didn't seem possible, but the girl zombie could clearly bake the meanest butter tart known to the living.
updated 2 weeks ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 5 Thursday 09
She watched her own reflection in the mirror, stroking her illustrious beard, mocking her husband, whose face was bald and cold.
updated 3 weeks ago via Twitter
NovemberNov 2 Monday 09
In an act of desperation, the robots elected Charlie as their leader. Charlie was made of styrofoam & melted after only a few hours.
updated Nov 2, 2009 via Twitter
NovemberNov 1 Sunday 09
The air was rich with November. He filled his nostrils, reaching for his razor. Yes, robots shave. Yes, robots have nostrils. #whiskerino
updated Nov 1, 2009 via Twitter
On the day after the big event, he sat in his closet and built a robot out of fun sized candy bars. The robot demanded bacon & fancy pants.
updated Nov 1, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 30 Friday 09
"Frorow Friaay" he said, his mouth full of tongue. Not his tongue, of course. He wiped his zombie mouth with his zombie sleeve & took a nap.
updated Oct 30, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 29 Thursday 09
The pies were delicious. Sally Wibberstobby ate 47 of them, taking short breaths between each bite. She named them names like Yek, Erb, & V.
updated Oct 29, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 27 Tuesday 09
She lifted the kitten above her head, wondering how it would taste with butter. It was Tuesday. She loved butter. A lot. #kittentuesday
updated Oct 27, 2009 via Twitter
Hundreds of robots attacked the metropolis, turning the buildings into various breakfast foods. The girl watched, snacking on some toast.
updated Oct 27, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 23 Friday 09
He swished the liquid around his mouth, spitting it into the sink. "That's not toothpaste," he said. "Nope. PIxie urine," she replied. "Oh."
updated Oct 23, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 20 Tuesday 09
He opened the box, finding a shiny new version of Windows 7. He spent the rest of the night crying & drinking & shaving other people's pets.
updated Oct 20, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 19 Monday 09
"You are the brightest kitten in the sea," she said to a bag of trash, floating in a puddle. Somewhere, a robot cried, melting the earth.
updated Oct 19, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 18 Sunday 09
A chatty fish stick sat at a bar pondering the nuclear sciences, inflatable swords, & herbivores. The bartender ended his day with a snack.
updated Oct 18, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 16 Friday 09
Fridays at the unicorn farm were always the same: collect the milk, shave the horns, tweet as someone infamous, eat dinner with the pixies.
updated Oct 16, 2009 via Twitter
OctoberOct 15 Thursday 09
A cloud of bees, dense and plague-like, covered the sky, raining down stingers and pollen. Elsewhere, a bear was cooking salmon on a grill.
updated Oct 15, 2009 via Twitter