Dear audience,

After doing extensive research on the topic of women of the female kind of humans in every-day traffic, I have come to the following conclusions.
It is of the utmost importance that any civilized country, for the sake of their inhabitants in everyday situations like crossing a street, should ban women on bicycles. Not only do these women pose an gigantic threat to themselves, but even more to the public present on our streets.
Any justification for this claim can be easily found when one observes a woman trying to ride a bike in perhaps an almost empty street. The subjects of my ample investigations seemingly got an enormous kick out of turning left or right at random, but an even greater danger is present when such a woman arrives at her point of destiny or needs to brake for possibly a passing car, child or whatnot.
Instead of gently applying pressure on the brakes and slowly coming to an halt, these women jump instantly off their means of transportation. This of course resolves in a problematic situation because of the speed and momentum their bikes still have. I have witnessed all subjects, when trying to stop in case of situations mentioned before, starting to hop around almost like bunnies, in order not to fall flat on the streets, dragging down their bikes with children, groceries and whatnot with them.
Not only is witnessing this kind of horror gruesome to the untrained eye, but also a disgrace to the female beauty in general, and poses a huge threat to any participants in the continuously increasing traffic on our streets. Therefore, I insist that actions mentioned before must be taken.
While being lesser important, but equally horrifying, it must be made illegal for women to run as well. Instead of running ahead, women display the awkward act of running upwards. This only results in increased use of energy and also being slower than running ahead. By discovering this, I might have found an explanation why women of the female kind of humans are always terribly late, but this requires additional study. Nonetheless, our public streets should be wiped clean of women hopping around in an exploding cloud of perfume, handbags, grocery bags, children and earrings. I would like to ask you, dear reader, to forward this pamphlet to the powers that be, or at least be in your range.