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Writing is a lonely thing at times. We toil in obscurity pouring our hearts out on the page. No one can help us do it. The words are in us, and must come through our hands. Friends can encourage us, offer suggestions, read our rough drafts, but they can not tell our story. We do that alone.

In days gone by it was even more so. A writer had only a few friends and family members to turn to for much needed criticism and help editing her work. We all love these people, they are our greatest support – our strength. Yet this help is only beneficial to a point. They read our drafts, praise our efforts, boost our egos, but unless you are in the English department of a university your friends are probably not the best qualified to edit your work and offer impartial criticism.

Today we have the Internet, and social networking. Writers are coming together as never before with an ease not even dreamed of by writers a generation ago. We have online crit groups with people from all walks of life, from all over the world, people we would otherwise never meet in a lifetime of conferences. The new togetherness is available to us 24/7, whenever we need it.

There are some pitfalls to our new togetherness. As I said before, we write alone. We need that alone time for plots to develop in our minds, characters to come to life within us. Like kids at a candy store, we are tempted to gorge ourselves on our newfound social group. Then we are on facebook, or tweeter, or AgentQuery, instead of writing.

We need balance. I have meet some wonderful new friends online – fellow writers at every level from beginner to published authors. All have helped me along the path, and I try to help them all I can. We are a family, a fraternity of artists working to perfect our craft. Their critiques and inspiration are priceless. It is the single most important asset we can develop, friendships with fellow writers.

If you aspire to write, whether you dream of the New York Times Best Seller List or plan to self publish an eBook, those connections are critical. No one can critique your work better than a fellow writer. No one else can understand your passion, share in your pain at rejection or your joy over a good review. These distant acquaintances can become your greatest allies and dearest friends.

Use our network. Build it. Nurture it. But beware the seduction of the womb. We are not writing if we are all on facebook playing Vampires, or Mafia Wars. And as these friendships grow closer, their benefits change as well. A tight nit group, even a crit group, can fall into praising and supporting each other, and the criticism becomes less impartial.

New acquaintances are invaluable as reality checks. The criticism, or praise, from a writer you hardly know is a great boon. So keep reaching out, keep meeting new writers – offer critique, encouragement, invite them to your crit group. New eyes are the sharpest. The more eyes that see your work – before an agent, editor, or it is self published – the better.

One more little caveat about the eyes of strangers, or even friends. It is a mantra of publishing that – say it with me - Publishing is a very subjective business. Everyone has different tastes and styles. Each writer is unique, or should be. Again, at the end of the day, you write alone.

When you receive criticism or praise, consider the source. If I show a regency romance to a horror writer I will get totally different feedback than if the writer is a sci-fi or fellow romance writer. All crit is beneficial, not all carry equal weight. Your mother saying it's the best thing ever may not mean a lot, especially if she doesn't know Orwell from O'Henry from Obama.

The Internet has opened a new world for writers – from networking with fellow writers, to meeting fans, to self publishing your work. Use the tools wisely. Just because you can self publish doesn't mean you are ready, and just because Aunt Martha cried at the ending doesn't mean it's a best seller. Use the tools, and polish, polish, polish. All your writer friends are here to help.

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