sooooooooo.

my life? kinda in shambles.

i'm not talking to one of my best friends. the guy i like likes another guy who tried to hook up with me. i feel alone. i feel just so disconnected from the world today. i feel like i don't know my place, or where i am and where the hell i'm even going. i was so determined to go out and explore who i am but it seems like doors are just closing in my face and i can't handle where to go from here.

frustrating.

i feel like i had this amazing sense of self and now i'm losing it, because i keep trying to find myself in other people. its frustrating because i completely go from being so content being on my own to being so desperate to find someone else. its so aggravating. i dont know if i want a guy or a girl, i dont know if i even want a relationship, i just dont know the position i've put myself in, let alone where to go from here.

sigh. i've just gotta figure out a way... to get through this.

nyz.